They say I'm good, they say I'm fine.
I'm meeting all the appropriate lines but I go to work, I feel slow
And I come home to feel all alone
When I speak its hot but not
They say it is and then its not.
I'm too close im too far
Where can I find the middle land
If I can even stand
I feel like im too much
i just need someone too clutch
I don't need help im not a child
But I just wish someone would be by my side
When im alone the world is dark
Spinning in my head
I feel like my heart has turned to lead
I give and give
At least thats how I try to live
But I feel like its not enough
And my emotions I try to *****
Im suffocating in my own skin
I hurt in silence its the best
Better than pushing my pain on the rest
Ill keep trying
And ill keep slipping

Is it all in my head am I a fool?
No im alone and sad in my room.
There are those who'll say they'll stay
Then they don't and I just lay
But its alright they say im fine
Apparently im meeting all the appropriate lines

He understood me.
Just like that.

All my life I never expect anyone
to understand me even a single bit
Not once.
Not ever.
Not a single soul ever did.

And I was fine with it.
I did not mind.
I was used to being misunderstood.
Every day, every week, every time.
No one ever understands, and that was expected.

But he came when I least anticipated it
And he understood me.

I don't know how he did it,
But he did.

You came to my life
And taught me a lot of things.
You inspired me
Beyond what could have been.

You were the storm
That changed my calm skyline.
You were the sun
That lit up my dark world.
You were the fire
That burned my worries away.
You were the catalyst
That propelled me forward.

You gave me everything I needed
To grow, to prosper, to be better
Than I used to be.

You gave me so much meaning to my life
But I can't give anything to you in return.
And I'm so, so sorry
That there's nothing I can give
To be able to return what you've given me,
To be able to mark your heart,
To make you remember me,
Like how I will always remember you, 'till my hair turns grey.

I heard it all before
I'm just not pretty enough
I'm cute but just not that pretty
I look too young

I don't wear enough make up and I don't dress grown enough
I'm not assertive and I don't demand attention
No one will ever notice me

I don't go out enough and I don't party as much as other girls
So what exactly does that mean?
Does that mean a boy can't like a girl like me?
I want to be pretty
I want to feel loved
But sometimes I just feel not good enough...

A year started with no expectation,
with little bit of tears
for i was a exception,
to relinquish, for years.

There you came, knowing nothing,
here, i fell for everything.
where would i go without your memories,
were i so crazy about the fairies.

My heart played tricks on me,
took me to a disneyland,
where i found a wonderland,
the butterflies flew all over me.

i kept dreaming on and on,
besides the hurt, fell in love again and again,
to find myself no gain again,
I still wanna go on and on.

How will I end this severe pain,
If I want you to be mine again,
You made me forget my fears,
But you left me hanging in tears.

I know, I'm stupid for letting you feel unwanted,
But I promise boy, you're the only one I wanted.
I'm sorry for not telling you how much I love you,
But believe me, I do.

There's something about you,
that made me hold on so tight;
But I'm afraid because I can't make things right,
Maybe I'm not good enough, not good enough anymore;

I know you're not coming back,
And I should be okay with that,
Don't worry, I'll be okay.
Even though you're away...

I know it's wrong, but tonight I need it.
It's never at it's worse, some night's it's just too heavy.

Back has been tight for days, wound up like a Jack forgotten in his box.
My mind stretched to weariness and it feels much older than my heart.

   Tonight I will kick myself.
      Tonight I will give myself hell.
         Tonight I will get a little too rough.
All I can do will never be enough.

I can do good for months on end all the while knowing that this night always arrives.
One long night of tearing my fingernails off, trying to remind myself that I can still touch lives.

                                     The Masked Marauder

There she sat upon the wall.
Longing for springtime to come,
she wished to blossom into a beautiful bud,
Although, beautiful was not expected to come about.
Nevertheless, she was to bloom,
into a wallflower-
a flourish that was shunned by the most prized beings-
she desired to cut the vines from which she sprouted,
to be erased from the lineage of her loved ones.
She yearned to fall among the soil and the pasture,
to be trampled on by the glorious.
Because at least there,
lying in the fallow,
she would’ve been touched by the legendary.

is this what not good enough looks like?
it's what I've felt my whole life.
not pretty enough to keep someone captivated,
not interesting enough for a friend,
not thin enough to even like my body...
you could be everything someone asked for and still not be what they want.
when everyone in my life so far has only walked away..it's what I expect now.
but strangers surprise me still,
just once I would like to look in the mirror and see what they see when they look at me.
how is it so easy for someone that doesn't know me to see what everyone else has missed?
maybe that's the problem, they don't know me.
if they did I'm sure they would change their mind like everyone else.
maybe one day...