in wonderful pieces the sky falls down
while the little girl in the corner
nibbles on the uneven ends of her fingernails
she watches with widened eyes though blurred vision
and her stomach sinks lower and lower
there in the distance stood somebody that told her
she could hold the sky together
the clouds and the sun and the starry night were
completely within her grasp she just needs to reach out she'll be okay
its too far gone in the depths of memories faded for her
to now recall those words of wisdom
rather she continues to rock gently and shake nervously
because what is she to do? the sky is falling apart
in wonderful, wonderful pieces

****.
Eddie Eddie Eddie.
I'm just at this stop sign.
Minding my own radio stations and avocado smoothie.
Of course you pull up next to me.
Of course you look away casually.
Of course you're wearing a plain white tee.
And don't you look so good in it Eddie.
****.
So unfair.
My car is here and yours is there and
I'm trying not to stare but
How can I not be aware of my biggest crush? EVER?
With his blonde hair.
It never was fair how this black girl
Yearned for green eyes that never cared back girl.
While the sun is always on my mind
You come up sometimes and it's stupid.
"You stupid
****"
I think, sometimes.
Because she's little stupid-
The little girl who followed boys home.
The one who would wait for emails before we had phones.
The one who grew up and still doesn't know what the **** to do so she calls her mom in the parking lot asking for advice because she desperately wanted to follow him to his destination and learn everything about his day so she could better coordinate her outings in order increase her chances of seeing him again but she knows that's creepy and her mom says so too.
That girl, is dumb.
Eddie.
But you're dumb too.
You dumb ****.
No, you're smart and funny and so **** **** I want to **** my self.
I hate being so beautiful and so clueless that it goes to waste sometimes.
Eddie Eddie Eddie.
You make me really nervous.
So *******.

I always gave one
It's in my nature
giving one is easier
than none

For some reason
we feel non existent
if we don't give one

We give and receive them
like candy
but I found a loophole
in this never ending
cycle that leads to blood boiling sessions
and hair tearing tantrums

Not give one
one the greatest lines in movie history
highlights NOT GIVING ONE

Once you don't a magical feeling
overcomes the weight, the burden
that dulls down your brightest days

so darling, empty those bags
under your eyes, empty those nerves
from stress
and
don't
give
a
****

Tracing shapes
My hands
Feel cold
Car seats
Rides
Outside
My makeup is
Too thick
And your
Mind
Is choking
Your sense
Mutual desire
But singular
Pleasure
Depression
On both ends

Do you ever have sad days?
When nothing really goes wrong
But nothing really goes right?
And you feel a little sad
Depressed
Lonely
Like you need to know others exist
Have you ever forgotten others are alive?
That everyone else is living alongside you
Thinking their own thoughts
Living their own lives?
I do
Time to time
When I start feeling lost
When I need to feel grounded
Today, nothing really went wrong
But nothing really went right
Today was Limbo
Today was Hanging in the Balance
I’ve become lost in reality
I’m scared and exhausted
I need you to take my hand
Drag me back down to earth
And remind me that I am still human
That you are still human
That we are still human.
Because I will have days when my mood is a
Rainy Day
And days when my soul is
Overcast
And I will need someone to hold onto my kite tail
So I do not become lost in the
Thunderstorm Days
And the Earthquake Nights.
Sometimes my days are full of sadness
And my nights are full of tears.
Even though I don’t want to be dependent
I will entrust my kite tail to you
Because I cannot let myself float away just yet.
My life still needs living
And people still need loving
And my dear,
I still need to hold you
I still have a few tears,
Happy or sad,
That need to be shed in your name.
I still have nights to lie awake,
Thinking about the night we spent together
And how you seemed more nervous than I felt.
I still have paintings to create
That show people how your skin felt when it pressed against me
I still have poems to write about how I feel when you look at me
So dear,
please don’t let go.

I want to tell you how I feel
But when I'm with you
My heart stops
My mouth opens, but I'm left speechless
I try to make out the words my heart has told my mind
But all that comes out are a slur of words; nothing's understandable
I don't want the beautiful words I have to say to you
Turn into a mess of unfinished thoughts
So maybe I think I'll say nothing at all...

As we converse from across the room
While only using our eyes,

My heart is pounding, my knees are weak,
I'm red from cheek to cheek,

Still glued to this chair,
Trying to get there,

With you I rather be,
If only I could muster the strength to talk to what I see,

Could it be you or deja vu?
I guess I'll never know,

I'm still looking at you from across the room,
Thinking what am I to do,

Instead of making my move,
I'm afraid to fail,
I watch you walk away,

To bad for me,
I surely see, the ship has finally sailed