from nerves, I cannibalise my fingers my blood clots, and dries out crusty and painful yet I keep on pressing, biting because it gives me focus a sick type of satisfaction, a sense of control.
I whine tears leak out, my eyelids stuttering, Tired my fingers bit, bone exposed and ****** my fingernails and fingerprints all gone, remains lay in my stomach acid consuming the scraps of skin this is what I call my very own cannibalism.
It hits like a bullet. Caught off guard, Triggered by the circumstance, Fuelled with the negative thought, Your mind starts to race and all sense is blur.
It hits like a tsunami. One second you could breathe, The next your nostrils and mouth is forced shut, Your insides are burning, You’re crashing against sorrows And there’s oh so much desperation For the need to simply Breathe.
When the feeling is this intense You won’t know what hit you.
The bird struggled to its feet The day had finally come In fear the bird gave a small tweet The first flight is frightening to some Fly or fall, two options nothing more nothing less To me this is comparable to my own stress I asked her out, she said yes. I thought my trial had ended I flew from the tree and didn’t fall But now is the greatest test of them all Will I survive the world of prey? Or will I fall victim and dark be my days? No one knows til the end is come Not even the bird itself until it has lived a full life and bourn it’s young. Or one with the earth the bird has become
She said yes but will the first date go well? If not will it spell the end?
Boom Boom Boom Boom The sound of our feet moving on the dance floor. Boom Boom Boom Boom Me sitting on the concrete outside the vintage store. Boom Boom Boom Boom Is it selfish to ask for something more? Boom Boom Boom Boom Or am I just scared that I’m not what you are looking for? Boom Boom Boom Boom The racing of my heart as I work up the nerves. Boom Boom Boom Boom Trying to resist what I want to preserve. Boom Boom Boom Boom I’m sorry it took the moon thirty six cycles for me to come to my senses. Boom Boom Boom Boom No- not senses, for me to make up my **** mind. Boom Boom Boom Boom This is simply hard to find. Boom Boom Boom Boom I guess I was more ready than I realized.
Shining light was burning in burst Shattered into dark colors Made those stars such a liar Shooting light through the darkness Looking for forgiveness Too reaching fantasy in fearless It gave me nerves To think about someone that never loves
SOMETIMES WHEN LEFT TO MY OWN DEVICES MY MIND BEGINS TO WANDER REPLAYING PAST EVENTS, QUESTIONING PAST DECISIONS IF I'M LEFT TOO LONG ON MY OWN DEVOID OF HUMAN COMPANIONSHIP MY MIND SLOWLY DISINTERGRATES AND THE WALLS I'VE BUILT AROUND ME COME CRASHING DOWN SENSING MY VUNERABLE STATE THE VULTURES START CIRCLING AND THEN COMES THE WAIT, WITH BREATHES ABATED CRUMBLING BRICK UPON CRUMBLING BRICK UNTIL THE LAST STONE FALLS THEN LIKE STARVED WOLVES THEY POUNCE ANXIETY SINKS IT'S CLAWS INTO MY FLESH INFUSING MY BLOOD WITH PANIC THIS BLOOD-BORNE DISEASE MANIFESTS IN EMBARRASSMENT TURNING INTO ANGER BUT IN THE WORST CASE SCENARIO WHOLE BODY SPASMS EVOLVE INTO WINDPIPE CRUSHING HEART PALPITATIONS PUBLIC APPEARANCES ARE NOT ADVISED DURING THIS TIME
Dreams are your hopes Nightmares are your fears But both combined can be a tricky situation You could have a great night sleep But have one nightmare That can ruin the entire night That one nightmare that wakes you up Cold sweat dripping off your forehead Your breath is shallow The nightmare that could make you wake up in tears You just end up sitting up late Calming your nerves You question what the nightmare was about But you don’t want to know what it means It’s 4 AM No one is awake But YOU Instead you go back to bed And hope Hope you don’t have that nightmare again
My memories is going in and out like a daze. The brain is complicated like a maze. Yet intriguing in so many ways. Images come and go, some usually stays. I went from young to old so many days. Time, I would never thought to embrace. So much pain is written on these chains. Only little change could really be explained. Maintain and preserve the brain remains Explain the nerves that’s surrounding my veins? Maybe I’ll just refrain that question it pertains. Locked in my skull where my brain is contained.