I see you
Laird of Tanera Mòr
shaded scotsman
misty on the dock
I hear your skirling pipes
threading salted air
silent sound which cuts
and tops each bouncing wave
music on the bridge
between the living and the grave

Someone broke my best friend’s heart.
They’d been together throughout the entire lock-down.
And even though it looks like we’re entering a freer time,
he said it felt like she’d become part of the claustrophobia.

Explanations can snag on nerves like fishhooks.

What was I thinking,
I let you go,
I wasn't drinking, still
I let you go,
Where was my head at to
Let you go,
I can't accept that I just
Let you go.
                                                                    
I wish I could make
Amends,
So we could at least
Be friends,
I have no real
Reason why,
I let you
Say goodbye.
                                                                    
Did I confuse you when
I let you go,
Such a fool to have
Let you go,
You were so precious, still
I let you go,
Worth more than jewels, still
I let you go.
                                                                    
I wish we could
Start again,
I'd be quite
A different man,
I've learned quite a lot
Since then,
I know how
To keep a friend.
                                                                    
We could meet up in the
Centre of town,
And I'd explain my motivations,
About how I came
To let you down,
And all those other
Explanations,
And crazy complications.
                                                                    
I'm not asking for
Romance,
Just give me half
A chance,
I’ve come to have
A good, kind heart,
So how about
A brand new start.
                                                                    
What was I thinking,
I let you go,
I wasn't drinking, still
I let you go,
Where was my head at to
Let you go,
I can't accept that I just
Let you go.

I am not impressed by much yet fascinated quite often. I care for a lot but I also hardly ever care for much. I am not heart less, I feel everything deeply but I do not feel as much as I should. Sometimes I live and other days I exist. Some nights I want to party and others my bed is enough for me. Some days I feel like Prada and other days I don’t care for brands at all. Some nights I yearn for human affection but still I do not invest my time in anyone because most people simply just have potential that never amounts and leaves me disappointed.I am genuinely always happy yet my heart aches often. I am complex yet the simplest human being you’ll ever come across.

I can't even find Youtube videos that explain how you function.

You wanted to know why
I was destroying myself
But how do you explain
To someone who doesn't know
What it feels like
To have your thoughts
Tear you apart

I hate having to explain how I'm feeling
for its like explaining why I breathe

There is no simple way of putting it
I cannot construct the sentences that would satisfy you

All I can think of is why you care
and how in reality you don't care

So in the end, Im better off just saying I'm fine
rather than having to explain it all