Aug 11 juttu
Ravindra Nayak
Rewind,
Flashback phobias...
Encountering
Blueberries smiling
Cactusy sweetness
Dark hallucinations
Dawn provoked
juttu Jul 18
Do you see it?
The days are melting
to form a soup
a soup of days
of distances
of possibilities
of memories
of the rays of light peeking under the dewy leaf
of the colours getting mixed

Do you experience the warmth
of the infinite possibilities
of a freedom that permits
You can quit
You can quit anything, anytime
does the freedom scare you?

Are you acting your part well?
or are you still confused about your role?
do you think your story adds?
do you really think there is anyone buying it?
Are you afraid
of having an overbearing identity
of not being consistent
of not being able to change because you worry too much about being consistent
of not seeing the end of the tunnel
or seeing it a little too soon

Are you haunted by a question?
Or did you lose the question?
Some of us lose faith
They find these enigmatic questions too romantic
they live on
without addressing anything
You’ve lost it too, haven’t you?
It is okay
The far side of the moon is just darker
Nobody takes on the big existential questions anymore. It doesn't even cross our minds these days and anyone who reminds us of these question is seen as a weirdo! Strange times
juttu Jul 18
Headed out for some fun
basking in the sun
lay on the shore
you could hear the roar
the waves kept coming at you

caressing as they greet
they kissed your feet
bubbling with energy
gushing with fervour to meet
they brought crab & meat
when they kept coming at you

recurring and old
and sometimes cold
but every new one
growing increasingly bold
glittering with hope & twilight gold
as they kept coming at you

they peeked up your skirt
not that it hurt
only you didn’t come prepared
not that they cared
and they kept coming at you

running up your dress
they didn’t impress
bringing sand and dirt along
as they got steady and strong
the sand began to bite
so you sprang upright
to see more waves coming at you

probed by the prying eyes
getting tired of the lies
you decided to rise
to face the mighty tide
as you had nothing to hide
challenging the forces of the mystic
that kept pushing the waves at you

now that you knew
how the wind blew
you walked further in
to the sea as the sun
met your gaze
with its last bent rays
with the waves still coming at you

then came the big one
in the absence of sun
with such vastness it came
that no force could tame
you stood there frozen;
neither tied nor bound
yet you didn’t make a sound
and the other waves tried to reach you

rising with the high wave
oh! Such thrill it gave
being pushed up and high
just a few inches to the sky
you look down to see
the waves still chase
the now empty space.
juttu Jan 20
Some days
Looking at urban wild
I have strange recollections
Of being a tall goat
Of finding the tender sweetness of a fresh leaf
And then finding the leftovers in the garbage pile
I feel alive
And ancient
juttu Dec 2017
A lot has been written about monotony
Here I’m only trying it from my vision
It won’t differ much from yours
But even monotony comes in different flavors
Mine is bland. Unimaginably bland.
So much, that I fear the day I spit it out,
it will leave me bitter
I make feeble attempts to break it
A lot like a fifty year old couple argue & fight
They are not trying to spice things up
Just sorting the disagreements and inconveniences that crop up, further strengthening their bond
Each one is a proven pain in the other's ass
But it is familiar, comforting pain
Losing track of the days that I lost
The days they come and go so fast
I’m preparing myself better for the days to come
‘Every new day is an opportunity lost. So you’ve got to seize every opportunity.' I was advised..
It was 00 hours when I woke up
from my untimely slumber to start
this new day on this new note
Although I’m skeptical of the meaning of new day
I don't think they meant it in the technical sense
The day they were referring to probably begins
when the sun shines so bright that it is hard
to keep your eyes closed and pretend to be asleep
In a semi awakened state,
you clasp your genitals,
then scratch them,
stroke your stiffness,
wipe the drooling mouth
or partake in other preferred activities
in any order you deem fit
and thereby amass the requisite energy
to seize the day by the balls
Me,? I’m not really a morning person
It takes a couple of hours for nausea to subdue
After I spat all the toothpaste residue
So I take this to be the start of yet another day which has begun,
and will roll,
with reasonable certainty,
just the same way as did yesterday
Or the day before
Or a day the week before
But I wasn’t here since the beginning of time
I grew from a microbe to a maniac
So I know this is just a phase that will pass
But I can’t seem to place
the beginning or end of it
Shedding hairs, bloating with worries and fat
I came to the sudden realization
that this will soon end
Whether I like it or not
Whether I force it or not
It will come to an end
Like every other thing that started
Here I am, waiting for it to unfold
Like the spectator I’ve always been,
passive with fear and with justifiable cowardice
When the days become too repetitive, you can't tell reality from a recurring dream..
juttu Dec 2017
She was eight days old when I first blinked
She had seen the sun
The nurses that bathe
The milking breast
The beautiful tired mother
The man with a deep throat

I didn’t know her then
She didn’t know me then
But when I came to being
She had already been there

She took the lead
And stretched it further
The eight day advantage had compounded
when we met for the first time
Almost 15 years after I was born
And I’ve been in awe ever since
I’ve always been
a hopeless puppy around her

Today I called her with a broken heart
And she showed me hers
Hers was broken too
She told me not to worry
I told her not to worry

She has chopped her hair now
And bruised her ego
But she’s still here
And I’m still here
We’re still breathing
And nothing else matters
We watch as the big yellow moon rises
Fills the hearts with love
With memories, with nostalgia

I hope when I finally go
She gets eight more glorious sunrises
juttu Dec 2017
It's a pity!
Those big beautiful eyes
stare at the impassive lens
that blink at the perfect moment

I wish they stared at me instead
I'd never blink
I'd never turn away
from captivating eyes that promise mystical worlds
I'd fight tears
for tears blur the sight

However, I am grateful
the digital eye blinked
The moment they shut
is the moment that was captured
And the one that mine can see
Always,
now even when they're shut.
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