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I asked my friend once
Why he cuts himself
His reply was completely sensible to me
Though others might say it was senseless
But so heart wrenching was the reply
So real that it made me cry

He said
I cut myself to make sure I'm alive
Because pain is the only emotion
That throughout my life
Has been able to thrive
But every time I cut, I think
If I can feel pain,
Maybe another emotion has survived

You see
There's this thread that is tied around my heart.
But it's not just tied around my heart
It's tied from my brain to my heart
To my soul to everything around me
To everything within me to all that surrounds me.

There are many things attached to this string
The closer they are to the end
Wrapped around my heart
The bigger the knot they form
And the bigger the knot is
The easier I can feel them

There is one emotion
I feel every single time my heart beats
That emotion is pain
Through past, present, future
Throughout my entire life
That emotion has never ceased

Pain is so close to my heart
On the thread of emotion
That maybe if I feel the pain
I'll be able to feel the emotion
That is one step further than pain
And then the emotion beyond that

I cut myself because if I can feel pain
I might be able to feel hope next
And I might feel happiness after that
And maybe, just maybe
Someday, because of the pain,
I'll be able to feel love

I asked my friend once
Why he cuts himself
His reply was simple
He said
Because sometimes,
Cutting is all that keeps us alive
  Dec 2014 Forgotten Dreams
I'm fine.
Do you see
me broken?
Do you see
My scars?
My frame
like a house
Caving in?
I'm starting to cave in
Into my abyss,
My world
I'm trying hard
To escape
Without leaving.
I don't need your help.
You can see.
I can tell.
But I don't need the pity.
I'm fine.
I'm under pressure.
I'm not okay.
You see.
But do you really?
I need help.
I don't want it,
but I need it.
I need it now.
Before it reaches four.
Forgotten Dreams Dec 2014
It's so easy to forget,                                            Then suddenly... gone
Let thoughts just slip away...                      a      I agree though,
Let them fade into non-existence.                   w      It's sad
Or at least that's how people play it.            a                  Sad how easy it is
Honestly...                                                   ­                        To pretend to
If you try to forget something,                            t        care
The more it just sticks with you.       a                                  love
Anything you want to remember...              o            dream
Well, that just seems to slowly f            l                                     forget

But that's all life really is, isn't it?
                                                             ­                       One big old **pretence
Dear Blank Challenge 2014. Written for Mikayla Hughes in response to her wonderful poems (check them out they're great)
  Dec 2014 Forgotten Dreams
Mariah H
Glass half empty and glass half full,
Everyday I feel the pull,
And so I ask, where did you go?
Please oh please, just let me know,
I never thought I'd see you leave,
But as it happened, we all grieved.

An Autumn leaf fallen to the dirt,
Now to become one with the earth,
Like the stars shining in the night,
In my heart, you twinkle bright,
A glass vase, I was shattered,
In an instant, you were all that mattered.

As I carry on, you'll stay with me,
I hope you know what you meant to me,
My childhood you helped to define,
Now everything is out of line,
A million tears shed for you,
Oh, I will never forget you.
This is deeply personal and expresses a lot about how I feel. I've been meaning to write something for over a month, and finally at 2 in the morning these words flooded out.
  Dec 2014 Forgotten Dreams

You don't cut, your wrists are fine.
          If I was dumb enough to cut my wrists I'd have been caught by now.
You're not anorexic, I've seen you eat.
          How much, really?
You're not depressed, you smile all the time.
          Yeah, because acting and lying aren't things.

You can't have anxiety, you talk to so many people.
          Its funny how you see me talking, but don't see the panic attacks.
aesha nisar

You have a good life. There's no reason to be sad.
          You're part of the reason why I'm depressed.

You're not angry, you haven't raised your voice or yelled.
          Maybe the voices yelling in my head are so loud I can't do anything
          but focus on keeping them quiet.
You're not scarred from your past, you act normal.
          If normal is crying for hours at night till tears can't come anymore
          and apathy sets in, then yes I'm quite normal.

You are so lucky, it's so easy for you to be good at what you do.
          You don't see the intensity of doubt and countless hours of anxiety to
          get things to the point they're not too embarrassing to show someone.

You're fine. You aren't depressed, just really sad.
          If I'm not depressed, just sad, then why am I here everyday?
          Why am I here crying to you when I should be out, living?
Tiffany Smith

God I swear every guy you meet online just wants to bone you.
          You say that like its a good thing. All I want is someone I can trust,
          someone I can rely on, not someone who wants to bone me.
You have boyfriends from everywhere, india, japan, china...
          I have none. These are only friends, the only one I want is you.
Your so strong.
          Yea, 'cause going home to cry in a corner, then stuffing my face with ice
          cream while watching sad anime is totally legit.
Are you okay?
          No I'm not ok. I just want to punch both your eyes out, then cuddle with
          you and make out with your face. Then maybe I'll just take a long break
          to bawl my eyes out and get rid of all evidence, all but the telltale clue of
          how swollen my eyes are
Creep that Loved You

Come on. You can go to school. You're not sick.
          Physically, no. Now mentally...
Why are you so good at everything?
          That's because you don't bother to look deeper.
You look fine.
          Oh yeah, the red eyes and dark circles just add to my beauty.
I love you.
          Yeah, it looked like it when you were 'out' with your 'friends.'
maha salman

You're so resilient. You've been through so much pain, yet here you are living strong.
          That's because every time someone says, are you OK? I just smile and
          say I'm fine. But none of them can hear the screaming in my brain saying
          I should just die.
You're so beautiful.
          No.... The smile is fake, powder covers the circles under my eyes,
          mascara makes my eyes look bright and lip stick covers the bite marks
          on my lips from where I chew through them when I'm anxious, or
          panicking, or being asked questions. You would be repulsed by the
          beast underneath.
You're such a talented poet.
          If writing down my deepest darkest dreams, nightmares, fantasies and
          memories, make me a good poet, then yes. But all I write is the thoughts
          that scream to come out or my head will explode.
The Girl Who Loved You

You have never felt real pain, you are a man not a wuss.
          The worst pain hits you in the heart not in the head... Whats a man
          without pride, whats a man without a name?
Get over her bro, shes just one girl.
          One girl that I chose to love out of the 7 billion other people in the
Open up your heart to new people new things.
          What's the point in meeting people, when in the end they all just leave?
You aren't alone.
          I'm not alone? You lie through your teeth, where where you when I sold
          my soul to the devil and condemned myself to the abyss?
We are proud of you always, son.
          Words I've never heard, just the echoes of my parents inside my head.
You live a great life.
          That's not the message the untouched prescribed sleeping pills and           ecstasy portray.
Tapiwa Gerald Mateko

You're so patient.
          On the outside yes, in the recesses of my mind I'm screaming my
          head off... waiting for something that will never happen.
Julian Pacheco

Who cares about the others? You're not like them you're different.
          What if I don't want to be different? What If I want to curl up into a
          ball and pretend I don't think I'm failing you every moment of the day.
Life's not fair.
          Well maybe it's time it should be. Maybe it's time for us to stop
          thinking that we deserve more because that's all we've ever known.
          Maybe it's our job to MAKE life fair.
Forget it, move on.
          I don't want to. Shouldn't everyone be able to hold onto the things they
          hold close? If they were holding it close it meant something and if it
          meant something good then it's worth fighting for.
Shut up.
          No. This time I won't be quiet because I sit here and I listen to what you
          say every day; you treat whoever you want however you want and that
          is not your right. Everyone has an opinion. I want to share mine.
Forgotten Dreams

You're so confident.
          Only because you do not see the pain and turmoil it causes me
          inside, and the sores inside my cheeks to keep from crying.
Why are you shaking? It's not even cold.
          Because I'm scared, scared of scenarios untrue.

You're not sad, you look so happy.
          Tell that to the guys who keep pointing all my flaws, and laughing
          about it, leaving me speechless because I have nothing to say in return.
You're such a good writer.
          And look how handy that is, won't ever shut them up for good.
You still have so much to live for.
          To keep living like this, might be considered anything but living. You're
          all too perfect for this world, but you know what? My body can't keep
          living in a different place my soul is.
A Sad Sam

Chill out man, it's just a couple people.
          To me, three people is like three thousand people. Their voices circulate
          in my head and drive me crazy until I can't help but break down. You're
          right, I should definitely just chill out because I don't know anything
          about the disorder that brings a constant burden to my days.
Why are you so antisocial? Get off the computer and do something productive for once
          Try the fact that everybody that surrounds me makes me feel like the life
          I live isn't worth living and the comfort of understand people on the
          internet keeps me sane.
You're so lazy.
          Don't you dare start on that, because every ******* day I wake up and
          breathe despite my lungs collapsing in on themselves from all the
          pressure people give me, and every single day I do the work I'm told to
          do and I'm trying my hardest but I'm fighting a war with myself and it
          takes up every ounce of energy I have left. Don't you dare tell me that
          I'm lazy when every day I take all the strength I have to keep on living.
Emma Tauzell

They had never met, didn’t know each other’s name --
          Yet their eyes were already making love.

You can't really love someone you've never met.
          He's the first thing on my mind when I open my eyes, the last
          thing I think about before I go to sleep, he's in my thoughts all
          the moments in between, his face takes away the nightmares and
          fills all my dreams. How is this not love?
Just Melz

Just forget about her and move on.
          How am I supposed to do that, when all I see is her and her
          precious qualities I so dearly love in every girl I talk to?
          Forgetting is a lot harder to do than finding.
Neb Dnarts
Feel free to add to this in the comments,
and I'll tac it on the end with credits to your screen name.
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