As I bit my nails
                  wanting to taste you
beneath my fingertips

I knew then that I loved you....

Even though I walk in life,
                 in death I wonder
                                 aimlessly.

Realizing I travel more now
                  than with any breath..

For within seconds I have
                 travelled my entire life
                                 without a footstep..

And now my footprint is no more,
           but others walk over what
                              I had done before.

When you make
a memory
use the very best
materials available,
select the ingredients
carefully,
mix them
patiently,
take your time
and over time,
as you hone your craft,
you will make less mistakes
and create something
perfect.

When you make a memory take each opportunity as it arises, don't hesitate, but be ready to grasp each moment, each nettle, whatever's to hand and to celebrate the here and the now - don't be tempted to wait for that perfect moment,
because it's here.

Starring at the night sky
I realized how much you mean to me
you held my hand and intertwined it
and whispered "how I wish to stay longer"

I started to cry
"It's about time my love" you said
as you tried to reached for my other hand
"can't promise to stay with you forever"

"you suffered a lot" you stated
I stared at you, wiping your tears you mumbled
"Please let me go and search for another"
I cried even more....

Realizing that anytime now
you will leave me, but you may rest
"you suffered a lot too" I answered
"this is just a cancer" you chuckled

I woke up the next day and call your name out
my tears fall freely on the ground
You're not here anymore
and I won't see you anymore

I've tried so hard to ignore the pain
but here I am again
Longing for the wonderful day
to see you once again.

Like a broken vase
Never whole again
Like a broken plate
Never usable again

My mind is seeking refuge
It hurts, it makes me suffer
My soul is exhausted
My spirit is about to faint

Overwhelmed by depression
Breathing, yet barely alive
But still denying the fact
That I'm just a weak and empty soul

My heart is throbbing
My wings are broken
My wound is irreparable
But I still want to cherish this moment

I close my eyes in anguish
Knowing that my flame won't spark anymore
As my time reached its terminus
All I hear is the pounding of my fragile heart

she would need that, wouldn't she?
to slow down
I never slow down
when I ski,
I don't turn
I rocket down the slopes
snow trailing in the frozen air behind me
cold fear in my heart
as I pick up speed
but I don't slow down
I never slow down
I like to live fast
hard
in the moment
one punch after another
breathe breathe breathe
**** air into my lungs until it hurts and
leaves no room for second guessing
for anxiety to creep in
I run to keep up with life
feet pounding on the pavement
mimicking my heartbeat
and I don't slow down
I never slow down
I'm not so good at continued commitments
I'd rather just do everything all at once
hours of work
I could have easily done gradually
crammed all at once
and I don't think before I speak
I say what's on my mind
though I often regret it
and I don't slow down
I never slow down
because if I slowed down
then life
would catch up

a knock on the door,
comes a coy poetic thought.
ecstatic moments.