I've got the urge
To cut up a storm
Create hurricanes on my legs
Tornados up my arms
While tears rain down
And thunder claps
As I huff out hot air
The only thing
Keeping me warm
Is my shaking
My shivering
While I lock myself in a tundra
Hoping to die somehow
Soon

I can see my breath
And for some reason
That frightens me
For some reason
I'm very frightened
By everything today
I'm frightened
By my own thoughts
By my own existence
Just by being alone
And I don't know
If that's normal
I don't know
If people understand
What that's like
To be afraid
Of the mind
You live in
To be afraid
Of the life
You were born in
But it's scary
And I don't like it
I don't like
Seeing my breath
I don't like
Seeing my veins
I don't like
Feeling my pulse
As I live my scared life
Because I'm truly frightened
By everything in my mind
And I don't know how to stop it
I don't know how to change it
I don't know what to do
And that scares me

We're both sweating
As the fan blows over
Our naked bodies
The air conditioner is broken
And we can't beat the heat
So we create our own

Passion between the sheets
"I love you so much"
You whisper in my ear
I close my eyes
To prevent the tears
But bring you closer
As we ******
And try to breathe
While I gasp,
"I love you too"

I hold your stomach
Hugging you tight
Kissing your belly button
Looking up into your eyes
You sit down and hold me
So I can bury my head
Into your stubbly, curly chest

"It's okay,"
"You can cry if you want to,"
You tell me
As I breathe heavily
Unsure of why
I'm even crying in the first place
You kiss my cheeks
After wiping away my tears
With your beautiful brown thumbs
I can't help but cry more
With every peck from your lips

You pour me sparkling cider
And kiss the raspberry apple bubbles
Off my lips
I try to stop crying
As I tell you
I love you
As I tell you
How important you are to me
But I'm drunk in love
And the tears keep falling
So you keep kissing them away
As you tell me it's okay to cry

You stand behind me
Holding my waist
As I swipe green glitter
Over my lids
You kiss my neck
When I
Blot my blush pink lips
You run your hands
Through my hair
As I try to brush
Knots and tangles out
I bat your hands away
While giggling a bit
You always try to bug me
But I don't mind at all
I like the attention
You don't want
To mess up my makeup
But you still kiss me
I can always reapply
I snort
Because blush pink
Isn't your color
And wipe it off your lips
With my thumbs
You look into my eyes
Tell me how pretty I am
And I can feel my cheeks
Turn red and warm
I swoon a little
Thank goodness
You're holding me tight
Because I just fell
In love
A little bit more

My legs shake
And quake
As I feel
Our hearts beat
In tandem
Chests pressed together
Hearts pounding
To the same rhythm
As the music plays
In the dimly lit room
With the hibiscus candle off to the side
Lavender incense in the corner
Your favorite scents
String lights above us
Nothing in between us
Except our beating hearts
Keeping in time
With Florence
While she sings
About dog days and wrecked ships
My gold nails running down
The sweat on your back
Pressing you against me
To keep our hearts
Together

When you hold me
I forget to be insecure
About my size
About my numbers
About my body
I forget to worry
About my lumpy thighs
About my jiggly tummy
About my pudgy arms
You stroke each limb
And kiss every inch
As if none of it matters
As if you don't care
That I'm fat
You aren't afraid to touch
My cellulite
My bumps
My pudge
The things
Nobody else wanted
Nobody else would touch
Nobody else saw as desirable
You touch them
You hold them
You kiss them
You make love to them
You flat out love them
Because for some reason
You don't care

I'm a fool
For chasing after you
Day after day
You're a fool
For letting me go
Without you
We're both ****** fools
For loving each other
And not holding on tighter
But they always say
Only fools fall in love
I consider myself
One lucky fool
Because I got to love you
Even if only for a while
It was longer than most get to
You are
One lucky fool
Because you got my love
Whenever you wanted it
Even when you didn't
I'm just full of it
Two fools in love
Finding their way
Back to each other
Because love makes one strong path
And it's pretty easy to lead
Two fools in love

I walk in the snow as chilled wind blows
My boots tied tight, socks warming my toes.
Pale moonlight reflected off the crystal white
Giving a mystical glow to even the darkest of nights.
Up the yard, I walked, and through the garden fence.
Towards the greenhouse lead by my muscle sense
Following the tracks I had left from the night before
A hut of a greenhouse, I stop just briefly outside the door
The sky is clear and the moon so bright
I wave to the lunar man as I do each midnight  
He waves back and blows me a kiss, such bliss is this
But it’s too cold to stay, once inside I can relax and reminisce this day

Could go by February, or even March,
The way she carries on her wintry game,
Her laundry's cold and wet, stiff in snowy starch.
She promised us firsts, left us with seconds,
Spent herself, it seems, in company of Winter,
Petulant, credit spent, she left her tenants
Freezing blue 'til nearly May.
Robins shiver, lost in snow and sleet
While budgies safe in kitchen cages
Tilt their heads and shift their feet,
Perhaps to wonder what do robins eat.
Desperately slog we the winds of Spring,
Encouraged little when the robins sing.

John Denver serenades me tonight,
As I **** down nicotine and ash,
My senses are alight,
My joy drawing from some infinite cache,
As I think back to Her,
To my run-in with Ms. Minnesota.

A jarring bump in of coincidence,
But not entirely unwelcome,
Your voice carried your smile,
The real thing was like telecom,
Broadcasting far and wide.

A resident of the once-glacial ridden plains,
But a call girl at heart,
I wonder if the waves call to your soul?

You're concerned that I have to drive home so late in the night,
And I secretly wonder if you're trying to disguise that you're sad to see me go,
But now that it's so late,
This bump-in unfortunately needed to end.

You wish me a goodnight,
And to you I do the same,
Probably with a goofy smile on my face,
I walk out of the front door,
And head on home.

I think of Ms. Minnesota,
And the goofy smile is back,
I certainly hope we meet again.