You found me churning,
Bouncing up and down
As I rolled dramatically downhill.
You knew what would be better
And calmly intervened

You took hold with confident hands
And bent my trajectory
Up into U shaped happiness

The highs and lows have softened
The amplitude modulated
The direction now up and forward

I want you with me on this gentle arc
Our slopes equivalent
Our speeds matched

Ahead I can see
sunny days on lakes
crisp mornings in the mountains
Autumns on golden ponds.

Our path winds by popped corks and caps thrown,
New suits for social media internships,
Wedding toasts and father-daughter dances.

We will share new houses with old friends,
Co-ed baby showers with pink predator t-shirts,
Bad poems at retirement parties.

I could not see these things if it weren’t for you
Thank you for bending my curve

I am lost!
I have crossed a divide,
where I collide with the unrevealed.
I am thrown into swirling life
spinning amidst defused light;
a kaleidoscopic landscape of streaked memories.

Is the end of this tunnel, my future or past?
Is there any evidence that I'm getting closer, at last?

An illusory distant point - a distraction
from action that needs to materialize
before I realize that I am not strong,
and am wrong about where I want to be.
I attempt to grip the whirl of wind;
hands outstretched to slow the spin.

My feet have yet to find land.
My body plans for impact
a stuntman's tumble back into mid-life,
eluding strife or contention,
but not to mention,
the final and ultimate cost;
alongside bittersweet acceptance,
of knowing that
I am no longer lost.

Fried chicken is fun.
Eat it!    You won't.   You are too
in love with sadness

I stumbled upon your linkedin yesterday,
and saw you frozen in time.
Read through an articulate and proud bio, and wished that that was still you embodied.  
Before all the pieces crumbled apart.
I didn't realize that it would haunt me.
What a feeling it is, to know you're alive, while mourning as if you're gone.
I would give you all my hope if it had a chance of saving you.

Bucket list dog-eared
Worn on the edges
And my youth
A scribble
Dancing and twirling around
Wild loops bounding
Off the page
And I sat there
Reading each demand
I had laid out for my future
And now were only questions
Open ended and I had no answers
And this ignorance
Perplexed me
For I once could react
And now I knew I never had the answers
So with a new sheet of paper
I scribbled out my truth
And tried to find my journey
Between the lines

Time trickles from my upturned palms
In streams of oil and water
I’ve been trying so intently
To stop it
I haven’t had a moment to spend on anything else

I know that when we meet  
A lifetime will pass in a second
But somehow I’ll revel in the light and the darkness
Like the flickering of rapidly turned pages

I love you,
despite the many failures
The true and perceived.
I want to hear about it all
be here through it all.
I wish you'd respond.
I hope you know you're worth more than you're giving yourself.
This doesn't have to be the final chapter.