you were never home to me
but my longing for that was so intense, it almost felt like you were
and then all at once i realized; you're my hiraeth
to be with you, inside our own four walls, was all i desired
but our house was destined to burn down

our love is a set of stars that make up a constellation
too complicated for even the most experienced astrologists to decipher
but you will continue to be my hiraeth
because the comfort i feel when im in your arms is incomparable
and although you cant be, you will always feel like home to me

i yearned for our love to be forever
but it was meant to desist
and then all at once i realized; it's our ephemeral
lamentably, it can't be our forever
for it was made of stars, and all stars have to die out eventually

but let's let it be ephemeral
because although the stars will dwindle away soon,
while they are still burning bright, they are beautiful,
and so are we

And I'm small when I whisper,
"I just feel like
I'm sitting out in a rain storm,
Holding an umbrella over a little fire
To keep the world from blowing it out,
And so far I'm succeeding,
But they're trying so very hard,
And I just don't know why
They want to blow out my my fire?
All it does is make the dark of the storm,
A little brighter."

And the little flicker of hope in my heart
Responds so brightly,
I almost forget about my fire.
"Because," She says, "You're strong enough to handle it."
"And if the worlds adds more shrapnel to your pyre,
You will have to burn all the brighter."

So I'll sit out in the rainstorm,
With an umbrella and a cold,
Protecting this little fire,
And I think I'll be okay.

i am an apricot,
dried and vacuum-packed amongst chunks of cashew nuts and *******.

i am a cigarette,
wrinkled and cracked with ashes so rank and how the wind whispers my bones away.

i am a stick of magnesium
extingushed halfway -

and i will never burn again
for you have swallowed my spark.

Surrounded by a bunch of fake friends, claiming
"We don't talk like we used to anymore,"
Passing blame like cigarettes,
And stifling the urge to choke:

Strong men. Even the sponge of our lungs is hardened
Stainless steel because no broken promises
Are gonna mar the way we breathe,
**** panic attacks; just contain it 'til we implode

Volcanoes collapsing in on themselves,
Chests crumbling, collapsing, converted into ash
Blood turned lava, thick like the way we all used to be
(Thick as thieves, thick as thieves)

And hot as the temper that erupts in me
Every time you fog my head with morphine,
Numb the pain your lies have caused me
Have me lie back and swallow down pills

Am I supposed to just take what you've given me
And ignore what you've taken from me?
Thick as thieves, thick as thieves:
Why'd you steal from me?

~~~

I picked up my feeble pen
To metaphor the sky
But I could not do it
No matter how I tried!

Clouds, like pale amoebas
Slow but surely climb...
No. That's too earthy
For something so Sublime!

Clouds, like clumps of cotton
Roll across the Moon...
No. Clouds, like wispy hair
Flow over a balloon... NO!

Clouds, pale sheer paisley silk
Slide over the moon's breast....

Yes! I DO like THAT one!
My pen can finally rest!


SoulSurvivor
(C) 9/13/2016

I saw the sun set in my rear view mirror
I was driving home
You lived in the West
And I, in the east
And just like us
I was the beginning
And you were the end
And how beautiful we both were

A cigarette that promises
to satisfy but turns to ash,

A nicotine addiction that
promises to be harmless
but inflicts damage,

Lungs that promise to help you breathe
but leave you gasping for air,

An "I'll always be here" that
"is never there"

A gardener that never waters his rose,
and so the rose dies without proper care.