desperation grips
the mind, hell-bent on treason;
the devil grins, proud.

they break
what they can't buy
where i own it
the land
the deed
the deeds
the first meeting
a hand, gently, cupping her hip
i remember her
in ways she doesn't
in ways impossible
the flutter of her eyelashes
taken aback, then
softly
as a feather fall
drooping of her eyelids
curving of her lips
every moment from then
till mine, slipping off
her emerald slippers
as she groped her chest
soft panting
anticipating
no breath was there for fear
only for joy, and weeping for pleasure
but i was not there
i was already here
in mourning
for who could cherish a night so sweet
forever
surely i,
i tell you,
for i am ever there
in the midst of every meeting, i am absent
stolen away
by love's first embrace
in the coffin
in the death of life, to love, i slumber
for the sun of onus
debt to what tills the earth
i till it not
for i shall never be he who makes her
wait
till
later
i till the day, au revoir
to distant lands, yonder, seek my morrow
seek my yesterday
but today, i'm with her,
as if with child
as if burdened by an impossible future
by myriad questions,
chemistry, timetables, passports, important dates
we are alchemists
she and i,
abed
amidst the dread of toil and bore,
we are parched of pleasure
we seek it,
it is
no one else's
but ours
we mine it
between fear and flight
we fight time and being
we fight ourselves
we fight the womb, what is without that which is opportune,
the midst of our seeking
farming her waistlands
for diamonds, for oases, for meadows, for flowers unbloomed,
i sought her mind for love
attempted
she denied me
pressed her thumb to my lips
said every word i never dared dream
a woman'd say
and still
ever more she spoke
and i was entranced
enraptured
askance at how
my mind
my bark encrusted body
came alive
with her grace, healing the rigor mortis
of ages past
suppleness of time, unwound in length
now newly wound in electrifying sight
awoke me
alighting the sinews of my brain
with wisdom, truth, and recognition of the life before me
truly alive, and wanting of me, from marrow to end,
and all at once
by ken i learned, how
barren
the world was
without her
despite her, even,
as, i thought, surely i had known charm, before her...
surely, i had known truth, and victory, and love, before...
nay,
i knew,
naught was i in keeping of any bauble the world trifles
in one's company,
with prices aplenty,
all to conjure the mystery, majesty, misery, and deceit of value,
only
should one glean the truth,
to sup of the waters
of love and its dew
to be there
at the hip
and taste of the river
from forefathers and ancient mothers,
from maidens and warlords
from kings and queens,
they all passed down their sweat of brow
the blood of swords and season's flow
to have us know
all for us
this was done
and you all
waste it
tirelessly
merely
talking about love

while,
i
dream it
eat of it
live it
enjoy it...

why not you?

She’s soft and beautiful, kind and gentle,
But pushed so hard she’s over caring
Each new insult, a sliver of the mask cut away
Revealing the primal anger that
slumbers in us all.

Her eyes are gentle, bright and open -
Or at least, they used to be. They say eyes
Are the windows to the soul, but what if
Rocks and screams have shattered them
And only jagged glass remains?
It hurts to look at her now, to see the gaping
Holes where her soul used to be.

And that brave, beautiful heart of hers, the one
That  had an overabundance of love -
It’s closed off now, from itself and others,
And all the blood collects inside until it’s
Ready to burst.

And when all of it comes exploding out, a fountain
Of pain laid bare before you
There’s nothing left for you to do.
Look what you’ve done, this princess you now call
Monster.

Despair clouds my mind
As I desperately search for escape I fear I will
Never find.
Can't you see I'm drowning in the
Emptiness of reality?

Inside my mind, I am free and there is
Not a cage in the world that can hold me.

Though, as hard as I try, I cannot seem to figure out
How to stay there
Eternally.

Gracefully, I leap and spin, a bird flying in the dark as
I mourn for the place I belong, home, that I
Long for every second, and every
Day. I wonder if I can survive this long without it. At the
End of the day I ask myself "Who am I?", and
Dread the answer that haunts my mind like a phantom.

Crimson stains spread through my soul as I fall into the
Abyss of madness.
Gasping for breath as I wake up to another day of
Endlessly dancing in my gilded cage.

Ah, Madness! She's a wild and unpredictable force, a whirlwind of emotions and thoughts that can sweep you up in her chaotic dance. Her eyes burn with a fierce intensity, flashing between bright moments of clarity and dark pools of despair. Her words tumble out in a torrent, sometimes sweet and melodic, other times sharp and discordant. She moves with a jerky, unhinged grace, as if her body is pulled by a thousand conflicting strings. Madness is a shapeshifter, transforming from a soft whisper to a deafening roar, always keeping you guessing. Embrace her, and she'll take you on a journey through the depths of the human soul. But beware, for Madness can be a cruel companion, leading you down paths that twist and turn, testing your sanity at every step.

Obligation or Love:
                                  Can They Coexist?**

Can obligation and love truly coexist
Is it possible for both to genuinely persist
Time is all that remains—yet I find it slipping away
A fleeting moment a transient display

Is it duty or love that we’ve been fed
Can obligation wear the mask that one truly cares
is love a promise destructed no spare
Times... life whispers ...  Are you still there
As time binds the heart these ties are so tough
Is love merely what we've chosen or beliefs to ignite
a refuge we cling
a web we've woven

Obligation or love— is all but a question
To genuinely believe
Or a table present
Challenging time a game to conquer