I used to wanna chase the cash,
And lust, after the girls with the fat ***,
Let me back up this spaz,
Tuned into the jazz,
Old school like Sach,
Watch the horn blow, mics up and im set to go,
Hits harder than holyfield, no way you could shield,
This lyrical, medical bill,
I spit it for the real,
No fantasy thrills, im sending chills,
Thats could even,
Make ice feel, the wicked ills,
Got strangled by the angels,
Last i seen,
It be the god supreme,
Got rid of the devils,
Up my levels,
Its just me myself, against eye,
So why even lie, or try,


Took the nails from Christ,
Now I'm living my worse life,
Guess im better off dead,
Different knocks of the feds,
Red dots on my head,
But cant get a word i said,
Concealed the conferation,
I do it, for the peeps in my nation,
don't ask me,
How i escaped the sticky situation,
No deals from me, i boxem like Rocky,
Balbo see my stamina galore,
Plus i got mobsters,
On my hit list,
Heavy mantra, so all haters feel this,
I used to **** Crist,
But now im a believer,
My sins aint registering this,
I guess just a player in this,
Game
Its a shame, truth i picked over fame,
But infamous if i gain,
Followers of the conscious bump the nonsense,
Yo i can feel it, the streets is intense


I turn into Rob Greene,
Learn the powers in between,
The lession beings,
Watch women, who love given,
Like Robyns,
See them robbin,
Men hearts blind, see it was all by design,
Curses of the feline,
Ribs damaged,
Cant manage, the creation,
Sins is just waiting,
While righteousness is just pacing,
Up and down the streets,
Lonely,
Singing Hendrix notes,
Red prints are wrote,
In the concrete, its another ****** sweet,
Wars a conundrum for peace,
Death has to release,
Just a fiend to the beast,
As prayers decease,
And hunger for evil, increase,
They wear crosses,
While laying crosses, king of kings, boss of bosses,
You cant win against nature,
Wisdom sittin' luxury,
But most of the average,
Cant see what i see,

Listen closely when I say this, I don't want to be this, seemingly utterly and socially useless, maybe I spoke it into existence
Best case scenario, this is a ridiculous place to claim as my residence but I never bothered to put forth any resistance
I sit motionless yet some how makin' progress but of course it's lackluster at best, barely a measurable distance
Still forced to press on through 39 rounds of this rigged contest, feeling foolish in lue of my new found cluelessness
Pretending my grip on reality isn't bogus, wishing it was possible to possess more than just a faulty compass
And what good is a shoulder angel drunk off two fifths, ******* me with the devils fist and a strap-on apparatus
How'd it get like this? Was there an exit I missed? Who put destiny up to this?
It's been a continuous loosing battle with this mentality of a defeatist and it means business with tape from wrist to fist
Feel as helpless as a fetus once outside the ****** in the eyes of half of Congress, ******* preposterous
An optimistic pessimist trapped inside a pessimistic optimist, chew on this, I claim the glass itself is a myth
Flip flop from avoiding to chasing deaths kiss, back and forth with reckless abandon that's settin' dangerous precedents
Hiding this incurable, terminal illness in plain sight, a relentless and ravenous sickness
Cancerous thoughts are more than an irritating noosance, it's a merciless menice encased in madness
What am I supposed to learn from this? They say everyone plays the fool sometimes but this is ridiculous, plus, I don't see the purpose
A phony realist, a visually impaired key eye witness. Who hears the crys for help from within the shadows of darkness?
Don't tell me it's the same heartless putts in charge of forgiveness, I need real help so I'm gonna pass on the self-righteous
Is there anybody who knows and could possibly tell me if then why I actually exist
Could they, would they let me know how long all this bull shiits gonna persist?
An existential crisis, I'll give you the knife if you promise to twist and leave it in my back for others to witness
There I am, atop of my own hit list and shiit list, racing toward the top spots like it's a goal I refuse not to witness
Take a shot, I insist, do or do not, there is no try with a mind overwhelmed with sadness
Tripped and slipped and fell head first into madness, it's my ****** up opus, I don't know where hope is
The line between good and evil seems seamless, can't beet 'em join 'em so I tried to harness the darkness, obviously a swing and a miss
I'm the catalyst of my own demize, an apologist for this Hyde side I can't evict with any permanence
Utterly incapable, physically and mentally unable to trespass him from the premises
So I come unglued at the seems and fall to pieces below the surface, letting life continue it's nonconsensual coitus
Here's my thesis, it's better for the masses if I continue suffering in silence and not be anyone elses regrets
Build a wall around this temple, turn open boarders to a closed fortress
No exit or entrance, not allowing me in your presence while keeping life at a distance
Not sure I'll survive this but let's be honest, I don't really need to venture a guess
Let's just say the answer is not a simple yes but it's my reality none the less

©2022

watching for air                              a mad thing of static to do
unwashed  i hold it all foreign   my perspectives clothed as the enemy
an agreed muscle of tension       with pockets fracked into my hands 
i look out the window   wide agape guidance                                                     invasive drills of heat   the giving sunlight ; punishing,
a tree,   the grieving buildings
the whinging of cicadas
and here i am     watching for air

one point for the weather                                                      
one­ point for the view                                                            
­one big point for my ****** condition                                
one point for the passers by and their galling dramedies

and there it is ; the wiry plan that's built                        
from one small tickle of wild thought              
                                 formed long ago
trickling to the current day
some whipped wit of poisoned psychology          
     fed to the inbreed   (welcome   you panting imp)
decades of saved up fatty layers
a deed   of habitual sediment
retching until the tide laps become still
   a cured and congealed gladness
marbled, a butcher would say
i am full and hearted and heated and padded senseless
        turned under a heel   with my wastrel history
  i’ve accomplished this     a stifled condition
                               of poisoned obscenity

seated deep        almost fully incapacitated  
in my armchair   on this chummy day
my leisure clothes greasy     sluck against my blemished hide
a packet of cigarettes   to my side
rounded upon  by sounds of the neighbours affairs
with a gasp of energy   i 'skin one off' vigorously
my system trembling   with years of hard liquor
borderline   to a state of unconscious whelm
retained final       prime for ignition
i could manage a spectacle
a blinding flare
                                  a glorious incineration
and the release
                      of my true oder

i light a match for my cigarette