when you make a change in your appearance,
you expect everything in your life to change too .
at least that's what i thought would happen,
change in appearance, change in the life outside.
but no, nothing changed except for my hair .
my hair got shorter, the days got longer .
the pain didn't go away, it only got stronger .
see, it's funny,
when you try to change yourself for the better,
have a fresh start,
in reality everything is exactly the same way as before .
every moment, every second, every day .
and you think it'd get better,
but nothing changed .

I can't swallow this pain
spiraling down the shower drain
the lip stick stain,
is the color of a constant migraine
staring at me, I might turn insane

Whenever I saw you with him in disdain
I cannot not maintain
this derailing emotional train
that is called my brain

Though it matters not what lane
still tugging at our almost broken chain
in effort to retain,
whatever is left to remain.

You are no longer my Plain Jane.

The words I couldn’t say stick their teeth in my lungs.
I want to scream but, I‘ve swallowed my tongue.