My Destiny
only happens with me in it
because all my actions have consequences
which affect my joy and happiness.
So I can make my own luck
by choosing wise actions
which produce consequences
which bring me joy and happiness.

Is luck
Destiny bringing situations
which provide opportunities
for achieving
joy and happiness?

the stars, quite literally,
aligned for the sweet & sour
meddling of the human race.
an artistic, feuding mortality now born,
thanks to the haphazard and
wildly unlikely mix of
tingling elements.
humans, we are in a
tiny sliver of time.
the stars, oh wow, they gave us
our legs and quickly enough
an unearthly load of growing pains.
a prophecy, a gift, a humble endowment
of neuroplasticity.
the tiniest sliver of time, where the stars
aligned, for the tiniest burst of
clumsy, hopeful light.
in these star-kissed structures we grow,
fail, fail more and fail again until
finally we decide which failure defines
our livelihood– a raw and honorable
pursuit which is not our ultimate
footprint. the starts, they know,
they die.
we must live our lives knowing
that we are in a sliver of time.

We are healing each other,
With that destructive love.
We are loving each other,
With that disgusting desire .
Why I have you in my life?
Am I so lucky?
I don't know.
I don't ask.
I am happy since l met you.
I am happy if I kiss you.
I am happy when I love you.

Is that enough ?
Don't answer  me ...
I know that...

Your love is enough .
Every time.
Your love is a fight.
Every day.
Your love is a light.
Every night.
How long for?
I Don't know.
I Don't care.
As far as you are here.
As far as i can see you.
Every day..
Every week...
Every month...
To the end
Of the
World...
If i am lucky..

Chance
is being in the right place
at the right time,
coinciding with the orbit
of another searching
the aspirations that you to seek.
A connection needs attention,
a compliment, a smile,
an enquiry of mutual interest
that engages instantly.
The abdication of convenient norms,
a shift in behaviour,
adopting a new travel direction.
It requires no discrimination,
but an open welcoming mind,
conjoining parallel convergence,
Meeting.


© Pagan Paul (2018)

.
     I stare down at the plate of toast and beans
     wondering why this was never part of my dreams.
     Looking for the future with an illusional pretence,
     hoping good apples will fall on my side of the fence.

And as the fork dances slow
around the legumes in spirals,
the tedium of a wasting life
bears the burden and scars
of missed opportunities in paralysis
and the colour of once bright lights
          glow black,
shining a shadow into the void
covering the bruises
that were once achievements of worth,
     now tender patches
          of failure.
I drop the fork ...

     … pushing away the plate and leaving food uneaten,
     my desire for its nutrition fought and beaten,
     Looking at the apple tree with sombre regret
     maybe its fruit will fall and save me yet.

And disappointment
is worse than anger,
it begins with the stench of loss
the nasal whiff of
what if …

And what if the little apple tree
drops all its fruit down to me?
Would I recognise fortune on my side
or fear the illusions and run to hide?


© Pagan Paul (17/02/18)