a naked soul in a universe full of naively loving human beings

I am walking towards a park to feel a sense of life and to await my companion. I walk past countless familiar faces and potential kindred souls only to end up here at a red light waiting to cross.
"Why, how and when?"
The park was alive on this cool October Thursday evening, well, almost evening. I walk across the grassy field, under the trees and upon the fallen leaves which decorated this ground. It once was green and now its an unpleasant brown. I walk and I kick the leaves, feel a breeze and I pull my coat around me. Squirrels are hoarding, birds are chirping and a sole singer is singing a song about Moondances and October skies. This grassy area is surrounded by benches occupied by loners who while the day away with pen and paper.

School children, set free from the prisons they occupy 8 til 4 every day - run wildly, some singing, some screaming, some crying and some laughing. Parents are all in otherworldly mindsets filled with questions...
"Why, how and when?"
I walk towards an empty bench and sit there with my pen and paper. Whiling the time away 'til my love gets here hopefully right on time.

A lone ice cream truck playing a familiar tune hoping to hypnotize the children into begging for a cone, or a cup of Italian ices...but even the kids know its too cold and too late for that and he starts his engine and drives away.

I've been a loner, I have been a loser and my heart has been broken, taken out, cleaned and put back in...with nothing but a scar that runs down my torso as proof. But I stand tall and I stand proud - "I do it my way." I smile to myself. I hear in the next bench a couple speaking and the woman begins to cry...


"Why, how and when?"

Somewhere in the forest I hid my dreams
I bid farewell and let it free
It followed me north it followed me south
 East & west it chased me far
I tried to play hide & seek
it made me feel like a thief
Found a way to getaway
Stay awake so it will go away..

I'm a lonely sailor, down four pitchers,
I'm high and low, how often I don't know.
I'm to take commands, I'm not on my own,
Days with bacchanals, nights with dark.
A deserted sailor, with a salient dream.
Whom I'm to speak with? The sea?
I've lost my tongue, I've lost me.

A pure path leading to the moon,
I hear the echolocation of whales,
It's the only company I can think of.
Threats passing within miles, with sharp red lines,
A twisted fate, I dream dancing on my grave.
I get old, I'm ranked high, my pockets are full.
My heart is dry, and smiles are wry.
Whom I'm to speak with? The sea?
I've lost my tongue, I've lost me.

I wish
People gave
Two *****
One ****
A ****

I know
If I was dead
You wouldn't miss me
Two bits

And if you cared,
You're out of luck

Your heart can't hold me
I'm like water
**Through sand

'As toddlers we sat on that
timber floor, playing like wolves.
You tugged on my collar,
lifted my chin and made a promise
that we would be brothers
till death did you part.
But death didn’t do a part
in breaking up our pack.
Throughout the years you taught me
how to hunt and gather
my props, you taught me
how to front and swagger,
you wanted me to be at my best
before you left. But you never told me that
you had to leave.
Then when you started to stray, I tried to trail
your footprints, thinking that you were just
past that tree line waiting for me to catch up.
But the farther that I went, the farther
we grew a part. I can forgive you
for never giving me a warning
but those years that I fought
as a lone wolf still haunt me.

© Matthew Harlovic

So many curious faces I see.
Inquiring eyes fixed on me.
As if trying hard to guess.
why always I speak so less?

In the office and in bazaar.
They wonder who my friends are?
Every time they spot me alone.
Doubt if I am kind of stone.

With them no ebullience, no zeal.
In their company so lonely I feel.
Whether sitting or on a walk.
Always worldly and shallow talk.

But all who think I am lonely stone.
Let me inform I am never alone.
Loneliness is my best friend.
With him quality time I spend.