Peter (my bf) flew away early this morning,
like Shakespeare’s eagle, “leaving no tracks.”
Now I lie here, as a leftover or Millais’ drowned ‘Ophelia’.

That’s an image ripped from adolescent, female visual culture.

Time‘s adversarial magic drags us ever future-wise,
eroding sweet moments we would cling to.

Shall we poetize?

I want a quiet afternoon,
on the bright side of the moon.

It’s an actual-factual place,
convenient, in close outer space,
like mythical Elysium, Shangri-La or Valhalla
where I’d still be intertwined with my fella,
like characters from literature or legend.

A place where “I’ll get to it tomorrow,”
is, alas, an everlasting pass,
because on the dusty, unreeling moon,
tomorrow never arrives,
our lovers never have to go,
and we can relax, ******* clothed,
simply enjoying the everlasting earthrise.
.
.
Songs for this:
To The Moon by Meghan Trainor
Moon River by Frank Ocean

I met my rose in full bloom
But it had to wilt too soon

It was a beautiful painting, in a bright wooden frame
And no two ever looked at it the same

You were like a duck, sailing on a bright blue pond
I never knew that you'd have to go, so far long gone

Your comforting structure had turned to dust
And your shining walls had begun to rust

This place was built on a conjoined dream
It was so much more than we'd ever seen

I learned what it was like in my own mind
I learned what it was like for someone to be so kind

When we saw the rubble, we all held hands
Looking at the ruins and thousand sands

It was the one place where I could be wild
The one place where I could truly be a child

But even though you were destined to fail
Thank you for teaching me how to live, My Vale

The bed only knows the weight
That leaves it for, unknowingly, the last time;
The warmth no longer pressed to its quilt,
The down that will never sink again

A love so delicate
How did we get to intricate
Set us free
Didn't know it's all you wanted to be.

But then you unwrapped yourself
The moment I left
Something I will always recall
It's the fall
You shamelessly aimed
To call.

I've always stayed behind
never  up front and confident
unlike my friends...
always high and mighty

up front they stay
always leaving me behind
never waiting
at some point they keep me at the edge

instead of being at the edge,
be behind that edge.
fall even
if it means always being there with someone

someone cares.
care? who will care for me?

I've lived my life in a stagnant position
And I've eternally remained in one place
I've run from all my problems
Never once looked Death in the face

How can I see the whole world
If I'm afraid of taking one step on earth?
Maybe if I throw away this feeling of safety
Then I'll finally feel some mirth

I've wanted so many more opportunities
But when faced with a problem I just twist and weave
I'll never be able to move on and live life
If at first I don't leave

I feel cold
Thinking about what the stars foretold,
It is inevitable
One day you'll leave me alone.

I had my meds ready
And my tissues are plenty;
How much tears will I shed?
I hope it helps, the scenarios in my head.

Overthinking is a curse
But it does mitigate the worse
The darkness was my bit of light, isn't it ironic—
It's like having a villain save everyone's life... isn't that iconic.

How twisted my world
It gave me the cure even before the disease do unfold;
Tonight it's cold
Without a blanket I curved into a ball
Thinking about the sad things that seems probable.

I'll leave you one day. There, I said it.
Or you'll leave me, and you won't regret it.

I love you, but I'm scared to
And I've told you what I've gone through

And you said you weren't going anywhere
But what if I go? How can that be fair?

And no, I'd never want to leave
But what if it meant nothing when I wore my heart on my sleeve?

I've known myself ten years longer than you
So I also know what I might convince myself to do

I cherish every single moment we spend together
And I hope we can smile through all this weather

But I'm so sorry if one day
I'll ghost you like the other
But for now we'll hang on tight
Because the only thing we have is each other