So what now love?
What is there left to do?
We’ve established that you love me and that I love you but look at us?
I believe that we both can see that there is no foreseeable we.
So what can we do?
Darling I may love you with every fiber every ounce of life in me but what is this for? All this effort scooping up my outpouring with a cup containing too many holes. My endless charade trying to salvage this lifeless hand that was never mine to hold.
Watch it all fall out.
Watch it all fall.

I feel like we’re on either side of a brick wall and all I have to dig to the other side are my nails. I’ll grind them down in my own futility, bleeding and blistered for an inkling of you.
I know I’m stuck. I know there’s no way.
So why do I try? I don’t want to lose either of you, but **** it’s going to happen.

You say to me.
You jokingly say that you need a girlfriend.
What a jab in the stomach.
You sunk that knife right into my chest and made me hold it as I wept.
Obviously you didn’t mean to but ****...

Of course I can’t get mad.
My platform to stand on is sinking sand and it’s swallowing me whole.
I have no right be upset.
I’m lucky I still have you.
But I know soon.
Soon my love I’ll be stumbling after you falling on the concrete, knees scraping as I try to reach for your hand.
But please.
Don’t turn back for me.
******* it what a ***** I’ve gotten myself into.

One day my darling.
One day.
You may say you love me baby but one day.
One day she will arrive. Like an angel on high becoming and fair. She will sing her siren’s song and entangle you in her yellow colored hair. She will sing a song just for you in a way I never could. Her smile will entice and entrance you and she will lead you away from me.

And I will remain.

I will sit, legs crossed and eyes blind with tears reaching for you with outstretched palm.
I will watch you recede to your watery grave with her because there I no way I could be selfish enough to pull you away and make you stay.
All I can do is beg the man with the numbers and spinning hands for a little bit longer with you. But he looks through me with apathetic eyes. Numb to my plight. He’s seen this all before darling and ,quite frankly, he is over it.

My lucidity
fights alcohol like how glass
cuts skin like a knife.

i might as well just devour you ,
now that you’ve
                           shredded my stomach
and laughed .
                        .

i never would’ve guessed
that
you
would take
a knife to my heart ,
and then rev up an engine —

a chain.

but
im sick of looking at your face ,
sick of
thinking of you ,

                           and
                                  sick of smiling
from my grave.
.

i guess we can say
you stole that from me too .

but
you are proof ,
that
even demons need to eat —

and this one
is very ,
             very
hungry.

I take their hands
Pull them out of the darker forest
Because I love them all

I saw their happy faces
But not the knife they hid behind their backs
They stabbed me
I fell on the cold ground
They left me alone in the dark forest

I came alone in the dark forest
And I will go out alone out of the dark forest
The pain they gave didn't stop me to go
They just make me stronger

The forest does not scare me
Their fake smile,
Their fake feelings,
Their fake faces scared me
But I'm not scared anymore
Because I have finally seen behind their masks
Their true identity.