I wish it was as easy
As you say it should be
To turn concern inwardly
Then, ultimately emerge again when successful in identifying the key to victory

I wish it was that easy
But I don't have it in me
I can't make clear the complexity
Of why I can't even be the me I need me to be to feed my family properly

I know I make it easy
To shame me, to pity me
To chain me to the pit of my own misery
Just don't let my last breath be what finally makes you take my plea seriously

You know as well as me
It's not as easy as "To be or not to be"
No further questions please
Until I free me,
I'll be in my headspace if you need me...

©2024

I lost the plot and that's fine
I lost my mind within the lines
of my aquamarine journal
oh the feelings it holds under lock and key
oh the feelings I keep just for me
the pages filled with my metaphorical tears
the pages filled with my realistic fears
describing my intrusive thoughts
outlining my dreams of yachts
It is so distant yet so near
my journal is where I disappear
it houses the memories, my souvenirs
my breath that you took, the lyrics to my next hook
all lies within my aquamarine book

Could it be you,
To end my days lost in blunder?
Your saving grace afar,
A hope so loving of wonder?
Miles the ocean,
Of sacred waters to whisper…
You hold a key so dear,
I longing to be your kisser.
Sands of your home,
Cradles the loveliest treasures.
O’, all gold to unfold,
Unlock my heart for your pleasures.
Of golden shore,
You are worth more!

She is doing kind of **** I would never do
It genuinely hurts to see the way she's treating you
Back when mine I treated you as if you were my king
Looks as if in her mind you are nothing more than a fling
I try to hide disapproval because I don't have the right
To tell who is and who isn't worthy of holding you so tight
But is hard to witness you take any amount of abuse
Emotional and physical
You refuse to cut her loose
Does it seem I am simply sipping on some haterade?
Opinion formed without even giving you a chance to persuade
In gut instinct churns that she will run once more
What is stopping her now that wasn't in the way before?
Despite previous cold shoulder you dove right back into her (eye-see)icy sea
You really believe she changed overnight into the woman you need her to be
Suspicions
Concerns
Questions swarm my confused mind
You chase what does not care and leave who loves you behind
Rushing to her side again the moment you get the chance
When she pushes away I'm sure you'll repeat the dance
At worst I threw some punches when I lost control of my fist
Appears violent tendencies are something she doesn't bother to resist
I hope under covers she at least warms your body at night when it's late
Waking up by you privilege missed most so I pray that one blessing she appreciates
I wish her to hold you down whether doing good or bad
Because I supported through struggles no matter how little you had
She better carry more weight than I could to help relieve your heavy load
Demonstrating far greater strength then the pathetic bit I showed
Inevitably she will grow tired of the endless games and lies
Wonder how much manipulation she'll endure before she will finally cave and realize
I had given up on promised transformation and pushed for solely honesty
Something tells me she is not capable of accepting that this is all you'll ever be
She does a more adequate job than me at being everything you desire
Does a word exist describing the qualities I lack which you require?
Inside is excruciating knowing you have discovered happiness with someone new
In presence underneath maintained composure visciously longing to fall for anyone other than you
Unsure how much misery must drown in before loneliness finally sets me free
Maybe it is time to admit that this cage my heart is locked within was created with no key