DEAR PENPAL PEOPLE, this is my revival:p


this time I fluctuate

I breathe annihilation

what got rid of me I got rid of liberation

the hurt carried on the pearl as seen before

makes me moon the past a perfect doom not ignore

more I find reckless but in good tenders

bile arisen comes to a chocolate cake remembers

something for me for once and all

the apart rejoined from the great unregretted fall

said suffer time on the twentieth last of year

a June not ought for my happiness not dear

not a remnant

since then but not worth the resentment

other than a rapid eye above buried graves

let be dreaded for my save

mentioned a one to hurt one to dream

a revival knows the uniqueness that beams

now one to petty one to go

one to memory one to soon

my compass is to be found in dune


                                                                               -----ravenfeels

June the first...
About thirty minutes after 9 AM.
I got the call.
I remember not allowing myself to believe you'd leave.
I messaged your Facebook,
telling you how much I cared about you.
I reminded you that we needed you to stay,
so you had to keep fighting.
I remember feeling so on edge that day,
but still not letting myself let go of that hope.
I believed so strongly that you'd breathe on your own again.
The next day,
All of us were on pins and needles.
Your mother was posting pictures of you,
strangers in states you'd never even been were praying for you.
Then 3:07 came.
You took your very last breath.
You took a part of us with you.
I cried so hard that I didn't think I would ever stop.
I wanted to scream at you...
but I also just wanted to hear your voice again.
I wanted to wake up,
only for someone to tell me it was just a horrible nightmare.
But I couldn't.
This was reality.
You were gone.
And the worst part of you leaving,
was the fact that I didn't know where you went.
Could you still hear me when I talked to you?
Were you watching over us?
Or were you too far away now.
Or were you even around at all anymore.
Were you simply just gone?!
I questioned everything after you left.
But eventually I had to come to terms with something.
That something was that you were not here.
No matter where you were or weren't,
you would not be HERE again.
I wouldn't see you or hear you again,
except for in my dreams where I pleaded for you to tell me why...
the one's where you smiled and refuse to answer.
I had to start letting go.
Once I started to let go,
I began to see things clearly again.
The pain of losing you was still there,
and I know it will never leave,
but it wasn't keeping me from living anymore.
I decided I couldn't let you go in vain.
I had to start living a life you'd be proud of instead.
So here I am...
Almost four months later,
on this rainy day,
thinking about how much I miss your dumb jokes.
Thinking about how happy I am that I got to know you.
I still wonder where you are,
but I just hope it's somewhere beautiful.

Days getting colder,
My heart a big ball of broken down smoulder,
Ice all over.
My heart clear, see through, the whitest cellophane.
My heart aching in reminder, May rang.
A phone call like no other, rather a goodbye.
Winter later called in to say hi.