I don't know if I can change anything.
But I have to try. I've seen too many people
let their dreams fall by the wayside.
And for what? A chance to survive
long enough to see their children thrive?
No. We deserve better. For ourselves.
For our loved ones. For everyone.
Like I said.
I don't know if I can change anything.  
But I have to try. I've seen too many people
let their dreams fall by the wayside.

There's no air in the lungs; no space to scream.
Fog climbing the throat, you can barely breathe.
Vision is messy, heartbeat is loud, your brain
is being choked and you can't make a sound.

A timer is ticking but there is no alarm:
no end goal, no consequence, no evil, no harm.

You don’t know what’s next, and that’s alright
You never really understood the idea of success
It is, in its nature, a self-defined word

You always thought you had to prove your worth
Why?
You felt the need to change something, and become noticed.
You wanted to be known.

I can only offer what I know so far.
You have to learn to validate yourself
Otherwise you will live your whole life trying to please other people.

I know that twisted wrist behind your back, I know that fake plastered smile,
I know the gritted teeth and the tired eyes.

Walk away.

Flowers fight flowers
To aridity
In my chest
Such is a penance
Must paid
For your distant benevolence

A liveliness so ecstatic
It slays and slays
All bits
Of melancholy peace
I’ve known
Lust you,

I lust you to war
Lust you, I lust you on
Nothing purer dare I claim
Lest the Sirens
Whirling
Within your gaze
Question the chastity
I have so well known

There is a desolation
Beneath this devouring tide
And you do not get me
You do not understand
I have always
Loved bleakness
Have always loved
A piece or two
Of you

And here
Bees fight bees
And the carnage
Weaves you a golden dirge
Soft as satin and softer still
Will you not hear—
Will you not?

I sink and sink
with the fair maidens
Who lured me to stillness
And not a note
Not a tune stirs its gentle wings

Your mute Muses
They know not a taste
Of hues
And I lure myself
Into you
Still

How awfully beautiful
Is our dance
How bleak—

I can't tell you why.
I can't tell you how to say goodbye.
But what I can tell you
Is I'll be here to hold you
if you need to cry.
And if you need to be alone,
I won't be far.
Just on the other side of the door.
And when you need it, I'll remind you
They're still with you
Even if they're not here anymore.

"Why on earth would he do this?"
Said his mother
She looked at his hands, and his shirt
Washed in red blood
Soaked in lies and ties
To the Devil

"I cant take it anymore."
Said her son
April 12, 1998 was the last
Time he felt
Felt himself
The date was May 9, 2002

"It will be okay son, just tell me what happened"
Whispered his mother
He struggled
The victim also struggled
****** corrupted his mind and tattooed itself to his brain

He wasn't innocent
Not safe from cops
Sirens blare and they have a suspect
No safehouse, just assylum or a fate leading to lethal injection or firing squad

What road will he ride?
"Mom, I did it."
He said

i want to be loved
and held
and helped
i want to be
something small
to carry around in a lovers pocket
like a rock
a nice smooth
nearly round rock
like a squished oval in shape
i want someone to look at me
for hours
discovering and observing
but never judging
i want someone
who sees the cracks in my stone skin
and runs their thumb over them
cherishing the contrast
from light to dark
i want the tiny dimples and spots on my face
to be seen like glittering minerals
embedded in stone
trapped from years of movement and change
i want someone to look at me
and see my journey
appreciate the things hidden within

i want to be loved
the way i loved
when i was still young
and fun