Baby, you wrote love on me all over
I thought your words would help me grow
But it seemed my luck had no clover
There were books that I had yet to read and know

You weren’t being honest with me
We were just a made up story
No, you weren’t being honest with me
Pages after pages I couldn’t see

I’ve taken the pages
I’ve torn them apart
Replicating what you’ve done to my heart
Call it a board because you’ve thrown the dart
you’re the author of my broken heart

Sow a Good Seed
When you sow a good seed, you see a good harvest
You work hard every day and try to stay modest
You pray every day and try to live honest
You may have some problems but you own and then solve them.
Sow a Good Seed
Your harvest is plenty and hard work is not futile
The clouds grew dark and the winds were brutal
You just keep on plowing because your dedication is undisputable
Sow a Good Seed
When you sow good seeds, you reap a plentiful harvest
Don’t think it was easy because you didn’t see me through the darkness
No matter how many seeds are sown
No matter how many plants are grown
Know that if the harvest seems like its slow, it is not a blessing denied, but instead, a blessing postponed that's waiting to be bestowed!

i have so many tabs in the books i read
they are color coded and when you flip open the book
i usually have some sort of comment there
these comments range from witty to cynical to dark to brutally honest
either with myself
or a general statement about the world
no matter what it says
whether silly or serious
those comments are my secrets
the tabbed off sections of my mind that i keep for only myself
the bruises i keep concealed
the words i’m too afraid to speak out loud
secrets between myself
my book
and my future self
who will one day read those tabs
those comments
and think back to the reasons they were left
think about all the obstacles i had overcome
and all words i had once related to
my truest self lies within
the margins of books
highlighted quotes
and color coordinated tabs
that no one knows the meaning of
i am terrified of someone reading those sections
someone picking up any one of my books
and knowing how i really feel on the inside
it would be as if someone had stripped me of my clothes
and left me for judgement
one day
i’ll be able to let someone open my books
to let them observe my truest self
and i hope that person is willing
to show me
their tabs too

I rue the day I lost faith in myself,
let negativity take over sober thought
and say to me my chances are shot,
to be content at a morose trot fowling maps of my life that strangers plot.

Is Life just a spinning gun? , a game of luck.
Revolving on, in endless loops leaving me stuck in the muck.
Waiting for my turn to tug the trigger as the steak gets bigger
and my goals and dreams are self-dammed,
the fires that burn them self-fanned.
My mind imposing dark bans on self-success as I tell myself “I’m a mess”

what would happen if I focused and give my best?
What would happen if before I play i open the magazine and abandon the bullet?
Would I do better if I wasn’t so worried I’d shoot myself?

If before I play i dare to prepare and tell myself I will win because the bullets gone and that negative voice binned.

I Think I could.