Love was never
the way my parents held hands

Love was never
The look in their eyes at a moment of togetherness

Love was never
meant when the word was uttered at the end of a phone call

But Love was always there
In many ways that I will never understand
She loved him so much
that she would put him before her
even though he never did the same
She loved him so much that she could hardly
utter a word of negativity of him
without backtracking to positivity
Loving him meant
that she got torn down day after day
but didn't hesitate to build him back up
She loved him in a way that tore her apart
She loved so deeply that she would never come back

I laid myself down
beneath the summer moon.
The breeze was warm,
and grass was cool.
I gazed at the trees
swaying in the breeze,
and listened to the stream
flowing free as could be.
I want to be the water
running wild as a dream.
I want to be the rain
dripping off of the leaves,
but what I want even more
is to be the blood in your veins,
to take over your heart,
and soak up all your pain.  
I would make you forget
all the hate and disdain.
I would fill you with joy,
and kiss your soul everyday.

i wanted so badly to be saved
and i wanted you to be the
one to do it.
but it turns out
people are never the
antidotes.
you were never the cure.
it turns out
you were killing me
all along.

The only time he acknowledges her
Is after midnight
He says hey babe
I came to pick you up
She comes back the next day
Thinking he loves her
Now the avoiding begins
He sees her in public
And acts like he doesn't know her
This is why I call it delusional love
Cause this is not love
Love is not about satisfying someone's needs.

Breathe
It's 3 pm and you're still crying because of him.
Breathe
It's 1 pm and everyone is laughing at you because he left you.
Breathe
It's 5 pm and your heart is still breaking because you saw him holding her hand.
Breathe
It's 9 pm and you're crying to sleep
Breathe
Just hold on.
breathe* the pain will end. Your heart will recover. Just breathe.

In my chest resides a heavy weight,
rage and pain stir as I contemplate
if you're worth the ache
I've been feeling these last few days

I yearn for a taste of you
and yet I just want you to leave
so this pain may cease

And in the heat of my own hate
I can feel myself suffocate
Loving you and leaving you
are just the same,
different phrases
with the same name

But never will you reduce me
to be completely desperate for you
never will I plead on my knees
for the return of
someone who never learns.
My anger you cannot sedate
and when you'll crave my forgiveness
It might just be too late.

It feels like
there is a volcano
rupturing inside of me.
I can feel it in my chest
I feel it throughout
my veins
and if you ever see this,
look at it as if
it is a message
in a bottle at
the bottom of the sea
that reads
"come find me."