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Ismahanwrites Jan 2020
she calls herself
darkness because
she refuses the
world (society)
to set her up on fire
lets uplift the women we love around us lets sprinkle the world with kindness lots and lots of it
She takes the stand
With the voice of millions on her back
And speaks the fact that we all know,
far too well to be true -                  
                                           Me too.

She is heard but not believed,
She is heard with faith deceived .

When will it be enough -
Is one in six not enough ?
Is one sister, one friend
still - not enough?

one colleague, one mother, one wife, one lover -
one teacher, one doctor, one preacher, one author -
one husband, one son, one brother.
Which one will it take, to stop
the non-consensual clock
and make us realise that -

Time. Is. Up.
Ismahanwrites Sep 2018
the day i picked my father up
was my first time in twenty four years  
i felt his pain running through my veins
i picked him up i didn’t feel the pain of my
distal phalanges breaking because of his weight
i was going against 108 kilograms of body weight  
at that moment my hands my weight became helpless weak
but i pulled myself up and i picked him gently at that night
i hid his liqours behind the curtains of his room
i undress him from his suit
and changed him into his pajamas
and i put him to sleep
for the first time in twenty four years
i witnessed  my father breaking apart
hold onto your family
Ismahanwrites Sep 2018
You carry my father weight on your shoulders
You don’t feel burdened at all
I count his laughter now
he laughs gazillions times more with you
You make him a whole alive different original
last year my father broke down in a way i never thought he would get up from it now i see a compelete different a colorful man a handsome man i never thought love could change a human
  Sep 2018 Ismahanwrites
Mister J
I'm in a trance..

My knees are shaking
My throat choking on words
My face beaded with sweat
My mind in a chaotic state

Here I am..

Wearing this heart of mine
On a sleeve of uncertainty
The words trying to come out
From this stomach filled with butterflies

How do I say this?

Ever since that day we met
You already caught my attention
My eyes we're looking towards you
With every little thing you do

Everyday you sparkled..

Like stars in a dark night sky
Every little thing about you
Set sparks in my ******, depressing life
Little cinders slowly burning my anxieties away

Until I was set ablaze..

Consuming every bit of me
Occupying my every thought
And before I was aware of it
You pulled my heart towards you

It consumes me..

This insanity I call ''you''
It makes me writhe in pain
But also eases my sorrows
Burning me to my core

I'm going crazy..

I never even planned this
To fall in love with my best friend
But the more time we spent together
Made me realize that I always wanted you

It's not an easy thing..

To tell you that you consume me
And that I want you to be mine
And I, to be yours only
To be more than what we have now

I want to take you..

And lead you towards an uncertainty
That may completely destroy what this is
But the only thing I know for certain is
That these feelings are real and overflowing

So..

Here I am terrified
Giving my heart to you
Whether you break it or throw it away
Know that from this day on
I declare to the world
That I want to us to be more
Than what we are now
And that this heart that I give
Will always belong to you

Writing this piece not with my mind but my heart,
Not with my thoughts, but with my feelings
It's not easy to say
but I wanna say it anyway

I love you.
From the heart..

Happy Reading! Thanks!

-J
Ismahanwrites Sep 2018
my father loves himself
i see it in the way he carries himself
i know he will never love a person
as much as he loves himself and i know
i will never be able to love myself as much

my fathers loves himself in a way i could
never love myself as much it motives me
to grow more and learn a few techniques
from him but it also hurts me to know that
he puts himself first and other people first and places his children last
no matter what you are going through god is with you
  Sep 2018 Ismahanwrites
Lyn-Purcell


I feel the darkness grow and stalk
                     the halls of my mind,
        whispering words of mockery,
                  words that I cannot help
                                but take to heart...

What if I am not good enough?
                                Am I a failure?
                   What if I can't do this?
                    Am I lying to myself?
What if I make a fool of myself?
                    Am I truly talentless?

  All of this runs around my mind,
       having me chase and bite and
      pull my own tail as the darkness
         laughs, loud, proud and cruel.
             Am I just wasting my time?
           Is the quill and ink meant for
                              someone like me?
           Am I even good at what I do?
                   I don't know what to do
                   I don't know what to think
                            All I know is...is that
                                            IT HURTS

It all hurts too much...
Far too much...

                       How I want to hide...


I couldn't fully cage my anxiety and depression,
but it's leaking out of the cracks, making me
feel restless, tired, weak and making me question
everything I do.
...I guess It's fortunate that this is happening before
I start my course on the 17th of this month,
But it's so draining to deal with.
I feel so exhausted physically, mentally and emotionally.
I feel like all my energy is being ****** out of me... I want to scream and cry...
I need a break and fresh air so I'm going for a walk.
I'll be back soon.
Lyn
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