​Is this your heart
Or a Polaroid?
Thick white borders hiding
The true picture inside.

I am not okay,
I really am not.
But I have to act like I am,
Because it's embarrassing.
People judge me,
And I start to judge myself,
How can I still feel this way?

I've tried everything.
At this point,
It wasn't ******* worth it.
Even the good parts,
They weren't worth it.
Nothing was.

It's a game,
I feel okay for a few days,
Like I've made progress,
And then right back to ****.

I thought time was supposed to make things better.
It's not.
Each low feels lower and lower.

I was beautiful,
Smart,
Special,
The only person who had ever had my heart was me.

And now?
It's you,
All day everyday.
And you don't even care about me.

Why didn't you just leave me alone?
Why?
I didn't even like you.
I hated you.
Now I hate you too,
But in a different way,
In a way that only hurts me.

Every smile is fake,
Every laugh is fake,
Every joke is fake,
Every eye roll is fake,
Every hair flip is fake,
Because right now I feel worthless,
Hopeless,
Like there is no end in sight.

I wish I could sleep forever,
Because that's the only peace I have,
But then,
Even before my eyes open,
My heart reminds me of where I am.

I wish I never gave myself to you,
Because now you're satisfied,
You broke what everyone thought couldn't be broken.

Now I'm weak,
I'm sad,
I'm constantly in pain.
I just want my life back,
Please just give me my life back.

I don’t want you to fall in deep..
You wouldn't want to love me anymore..
For this you'll find me creep ..
I'm afraid, you won't like what's inside..
‘Tis where darkest of my demons hide...

.                               “I
                            lo­ok out
                        side the window
                      and there
                   I see the
                moon, and
            that makes
           me wonder,
            ‘why would
              such a beauty
                   always want
                     to hide a part
                       of herself, why will
                             she want to?’
                                     ”

Twinkle, twinkle little star
Why are you so very far?
The brightest one in the sky,
Don't leave me and say goodbye!
The people here are oh so fake,
they make my insides hurt and ache.

Twinkle, twinkle little star
my lungs are filling up with tar
I always feel as though I'll cry,
This mask can really help me lie
when can I get a break,
they all just seem to take and take.

Twinkle, twinkle little star,
this mask is just one big scar.

Maybe that's why
I prefer dogs;
animals probably have
more culture than you.

the way you take
quick glances at my trembling self
by the roadside,
with ear-piercing whistling—
does that excite you
as much as it scares me?

you made me look at
my long-sleeved dress
and ankle-hidden boots;
yet I question,
are my outfits deemed ******
till it entices your manhood?

I grip my bags firmly
and wallow in self-grief
for temporary relief,
as I fear more than just
compliments threw by
preys on the streets.

should you disagree,
of my brother,
whistling and signalling
your blood-sister,

should you disagree,
of my father,
oversexualising your mother,
then don't be a disgrace
to the ladies watching.