When I was a little girl
I imagined what my husband would be like
I imagined him kissing me when he walked through the door
I imagined him loving me with his whole heart

And when I met you
I knew exactly what he would look like
And that he would kiss me when he walked through the door
And he would love me with his whole heart

But somewhere that disappeared

I never imagined my husband would let me down
I never imagined I would cry on the edge of our bed all alone
I never imagined the weight of my heavy, sad heart would drag me down

I never imagined you could stop loving me

I weigh a little over a hundred pounds
and some say, I do not weigh enough
my steps do not sink deep enough
“You weigh nothing”
“I could just carry you around”
Someone could easily lift me
When I’m carried,
Suddenly, weights combine and their footprints become more
defined
But it’s not my steps, I do not leave anything behind
And I think
Not enough of me exists
To make an impression

I woke up
With a heavy heart
Today
Tears slowly rolling
Down my face
That made things
Much worse
For I'm feeling
Every move
Of pain.

I dreamed of you
Last night
You came by
I was like a prisoner
Expecting no
Visitors at all
You brought tulips
Orange and violet
So I knew
I was happy.

That was my dream
After a very long time
I guess
I need not say
Why I woke up
With a heavy heart
Tears slowly rolling
Down my face
Feeling every move
Of pain.

In some days your heart just feels heavy and sad, no matter how strong you are.

the air is heavy
with an unspoken desire
for his tanned skin
upon hers
a shady block
of warm breeze,
a dusty corner
and her back against it
- heaven.

gentle kisses that tasted like summer
now dot her memory
along with flashes of squinting
liquid honey coloured eyes
framed within lashes
that remind her of the sort of thing she'd like want to feel fluttering against her shoulder
first thing
on a sunny sunday morning;
a nose that she'd like to have nuzzled against the crook of her neck

all swatches of filtered sunlight
and unfamiliar hands
soft lips and hurried goodbyes
- imprints of a translucent yellow

a rolling
thudding
ball of lead
rolling in the inside of my skull
pushing through my brain and pressing ******* the back of my eye
heavy, heavy weight of something
knocking everything loose
making it hard to see straight
heavy something, something
words and pictures twisted together
all thoughts and memories combined
into a marble of dark-matter heavy weight that rolls through my skull
leaves my brain to drool out my ears

My step is heavy
and my heels crack like the road beneath them

your advice on elegance
falls into those cracks.