I thought healing was easy,
Growing and improving,
I didn’t know it was uncontrollably sobbing when I read my poems to people and binging on junk food,
But like I love to say “you must feel it to get over it” but
Who ever likes to really take their own advice?
I know it must rain for the flowers to bloom but I’m tired of being a bud

"Scabulous. Adjective.
Proud of a scar on your body,
which is an autograph
signed to you by a world
grateful for your continued willingness to play with her,
even when you don’t feel like it."
-The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows

I am not afraid of scars;
They mean that I have chanced to live.

They mean that I have seen the world,
And the world has seen me.
That we have locked our gaze
Our eyes
Our wills in battle
Mortal combat
And it has blinked first.

They mean that I am a warrior.
They mean that I am a survivor.

They mean that I have healed,
Because scars come after wounds.
After we stitch closed
Our rips, and tears, and holes,
Patching ourselves up
Holding close our precious blood.

(Because a scar that still hurts
Means a fight unfinished.)

They are a warning.
They are a story.
They are a reminder.
Of love, and loss,
And life,
Beautiful life.

The moment when you catch a glimpse of death
Out of the corner of your eye.
And it sees you
And it nods
And you know it will come back
Someday
To collect.
But not today.
Because today
Today, you are the one who lives;

Please show me how to forgive
my heart wants to give
every last one of you
the forgiveness
that has been ripening in me for years

But my mind projects the memories
of your actions, your failures, and your lies
and suddenly forgiveness is tainted with
disgust and disappointment

I was a child until I wasn't anymore.
my youth expired as my blindness was healed
and, finally, I saw the crimson of your sins.
Have you been washed as white as snow?

No, you have not.
because only I posses the power to forgive you
only I can heal the disease of your mind
only I can cleanse the guilt that eats you alive everyday

But you never asked me to forgive
never sought out my healing touch
never begged for my mercy
were you too fearful?

Too prideful?
Too selfish?

Healed, cleansed, and forgiven.
These belong to me.
You will never know the depths of the purity and beauty
that only the humane can feel.

Scars are the evidence that wounds can be healed...

but scars are also a reminder of how those wounds got there...

When a bone breaks, it is widely believed to be the site of weakness. Too much stress: not enough strength. But after the break, something magnificent happens. The bone begins to search for itself and goes about pulling what's left together and over time becomes whole again, stronger than it was previously. We're a lot like bones you and I: once broken and now slightly stronger.

You held the knife
as I guided it into my own heart
The first time was painful;
stinging as it pierced through my skin,
paying no mind to the bones that lived there

I placed all the blame on you
But still, you kept that knife
And you learned how to use it without my guidance
Again and again

You wanted to help stitch me back together
But you don't have the expertise
So you used tape
With the slightest movement the tape would fall;
taking me with it

And I've never healed
A scar will always remain

Broken crayons
        is an opportunity to share and add colors to others.
A broken mirror
        is a chance to let others see the beauty within them.
A broken vase
        is a possibility to put pieces back together in your own artistic ways.
A broken heart
        is a duty to express the beauty of the soul.

Psalm 147:3
He heals the wounds of every shattered heart.

When do we ever say we're over
With all the what if's and why
The sleepless nights
And the morning aches...

Is it the days you're okay,
Or is that just the thought of okay
But when that song is played,
Do you smile? or weakens you?

When was the last time you tell yourself "I'm done"
Was it done once? twice? thrice?
Or countless times?
When do we ever say we're over

Could it be forced?
Should it be now...