Today
I woke up
loving myself

Is what I say
when I don't

When
even the ground
is disappointed
by the footsteps
of my mind

When there is
that one cloud
that is
too fond of me
to let me see the sun

When the stormy seas
of my mind
crash
over the cliffs
of rational thoughts

I went for a swim today

The sea was rough

I made it
to the cliffs

It's sunny here

You try to escape,
You want it all to fade,
But it has always stayed.
At times you feel it has all gone,
And all those thoughts have finally decayed.
But it's not true,
Because now it is a part of you.

It has always been there in some corner of your mind,
Making you believe that you've left it behind.
But all it needs, is a moment to rise.
When you're a bit low, when you're in disguise,
Once again it will greet you with surprise.
But it's just a matter of time,
Depends on how well you let these thoughts sublime?
Because now it is a part of you,
And your past will always latch on to you.

But it was YOUR past,
Bright or dark,
Now it is your part.
So what matters is, are you that smart?
Have you decided to be its slave?
Ready to get brushed away by those terrible thoughts' wave?
And allow it to weaken all your faith?
It all depends on your call.
Rise above those horrors or let yourself fall?
And let it control you like a Voodoo doll?

Yeah, no!
That's not who you are!
Because deep down you know you have that power to control.
After all, it was YOUR past,
And there's no such thing that you can't surpass.
You just have to focus on the bright instead of dark.
I know it leaves a mark,
But you can always embark.
You don't need to be a prisoner of your past.
Let go of the rest,
Just keep those lessons it taught.
It may come back as it is a part of you,
But it is all on you,
As it all depends on what part you choose, to hold on to.

There were times
her heart ached so
she thought
she's crumbling to pieces
like a broken glass
made of pain and despair

Falling through the darkness

She wanted to cry
but no tears ever came
Should one even try
to play a lost game?

She wanted to scream
but only whisper echoed
Worse than a bad dream
a pilgrim on a ******* road

This life
It’s like a constant wishing
A constant waiting
For something
I am not sure I desire
This hole inside me
Or maybe
I am the hole itself
A tornado
Gushing
Never settling
No one comes near me
To see my insides
Or do they?
Until they dive
Until they strive
And till —they die
Who am I?
What do I need?
How do I feel?
Pacing
Back and forth
Withering without growth
I am fading away
Like cigarette smoke
An old joke

You.
You mean so much
to me,
to the world,
to my heart,
to everyone around us

so everytime we part…

I’m at a loss,
without you,
without the one I want to protect the most,
the one I feel with, not for,
because I feel it with my all,
like its my own,
with you,

like you are home.

I worry about us
I really do
because I put my all inside of you.

I do this a lot, I find-
with the women that get me in a bind.

but this is different,
because you are you,
you are male,
you are a best friend,

one with whom I just never want to see the end…

usually, I know it’s not far
I know I will last
reunited by the New Year’s star.

but this time is different,
because of you,
because I know you are hurting,
I know you are far,
I want to protect you,
and give you my all.

I’m scared of the time
the time to think on my own
to worry
and wonder

and miss my “You” home.

for now,
I will wait
I will see you again
but I can’t stop the hurting

I can’t not miss my friend.

Eloquent lair,
esteemed and influential.
Spreading disasters
that make me mental.

Not about this repetition.
Locking me in a finite position.

With a moderate delay,
reinforcements arrive.
Reminding me that it is alright to thrive.

Maturing at a healthly pace.
Hoping to survive it all with grace.