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You do not deserve.

You do not deserve, not even the chance to beg for my forgiveness

You will never get that.

And I hope that you lay there, pale as all hell.

Only being able to catch your breath via oxygen tank.

I hope that I am the last thing you think of.

I hope that you close your eyes and drift away only to remember.

That I do not forgive you and I never will.

That what's done is done.

As long as I and my memory exists you will never know that peace.

You're Catholic right?

I hope you wander the barren lands of purgatory unable to be saved because of me.

I do not forgive you.

Not even in death.

Not even in my last breath.

Not even in the perfectly scribbled insanity that is my drunken stupor.

I hope you know how to read between the ******* lines.

I do not forgive you.

-Kore
*******.
Elizabethanne Oct 2021
I have my life lined up on the inside of a shelf
at the 7-11 in the grey part of town
I left it there hoping one day
A small someone that's pretending to be complacent
Can come and pick it up
try it on to see how it fits
I leave it behind
Chancing that it will fit them better than it ever did me


- I leave in lessons on folding yourself into a five point pin
And never letting anyone in
Spelz Oct 2021
It wasn’t that he drank of her that bothered him,
But that he drank so deeply.
Knowing “Full Well” the glass belonged to another.

That he was human and that he fell to a more savage instinct. That night he understood his humanity and it scared him.

As she lay in his arms he could feel her savoring the last moments of elation. But there was a distant sadness.

It was as though she knew what she’d return to. And that scared her.
B Kenneth Brown Oct 2021
When yr vision softens,
   there are those that'll say it’s become too blurry—
   but I know the real reason—why yr like this.
There is no light where you need to see,
   but yr eyesight is the last thing on yr mind,
   when everything’s on fire. When it all burns.

It’s so hard to find people that still share their feelings,
   like kicking the moonlit asphalt of buildings,
   so impossible—it feels impossible.
No matter the punishment, no matter the lesson learned,
   you keep falling, further falling down this path
   so impossible—it feels impossible. Yr stalling.

Every delicate tool you own, is just an extension
   of the hands you’ve honed, memorized positions,
   check off the procedures, go thru each step.
Pray to Mary, cry the way Jesus wept.
   it’s all coming down today, those buildings are falling,
   but you were born for this—you were born for this
   it’s always been here. Yr calling.

You stop yr prayer—and instead plea:
   Maybe there’s mercy out there, but that's not for me.
If there’s one thing that God will grant me,
   please never let me see, oh please,
   another one of those G*dforsaken hospitals.
Not again, because right now, how’re you feeling?
   so impossible—it feels impossible. Yr falling.
Mark Wanless Oct 2021
free to feel guilty
and change it with love which is
part of center mind
basil Sep 2021
you wanted to kiss me
i just wanted to kiss
i feel guilty, but not enough i guess
i keep kissing
and you keep kissing me
i wish i could want you, but i just want to be with you. i probably shouldn't do this, but i need someone to want me right now. i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry.

09.26.2021
judas Sep 2021
whenever I'm around you
guilt strikes through my heart

whenever I think of you
guilt seeps through my cracks

whenever I read your messages
guilt fills my eyes with tears

guilt when I think of you
guilt when I talk to you
guilt when I see you

because the ways I hurt you
I wish I could undo
Marilina Sep 2021
Thought I moved on
Felt guilty but relieved
And then I looked
Into your amber eyes
And fell for you again
Found a photo of my ex and it brought up feelings I thought were already buried
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