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Charlotte T May 2020
As soon as I learned
I don’t need to hold anyone's hand
while I’m crossing the road anymore,
The heaviness
of the risks I never knew
not to take
conversed with me after dark,
they reside.
before you’ve even noticed
you’ve outgrown your bed of roses
you’re holding onto omens
keys to doors that never open
you place faith in the wrong gods
black cats hold mass in your street
you let strangers steal your faces
you hear cracks in concrete speak
cross your heart and hope to die
or count your lucky stars
Broken Pieces May 2020
I sit here and wait for my time to shine,
I wait for the day when I'm actually fine.
I'm not just some little girl anymore,
I've learned how to cope when you walked out the door.
I won't just sit and wait,
I'm going to start tempting with fate.
I will be great someday,
And I'll do it my own way.
A test, another thing to best,
A new you for another day
Sometimes you can't survive the burden,
That lay on top of you.
Your shoulders were never weak,
Until you saw the path that lay ahead
The mystery of life brings you down,
How does someone stay content amid such chaos?

Building yourself up every day
Only to be broken down again,
Overcoming your shallow misdemeanours
One day at a time.
If there's no bliss at the end, is it even worth it?
How hard must one grovel?
Maybe you've never seen the real thing?
Or maybe this is that path you were too afraid to travel?
If overcoming is the result, why must I even bother?

Maybe all I want
Is to persevere,
But towards a tangential goal
The sight of which still seems near,
It is too much, I often lose myself
In trying to build houses,
Over the grounds of disdain and despair.

Maybe all I want
Is to be happy right now,
Not thinking too much
About the load that I have to carry.
On the road with my dusty soul
I often wonder about could have been
Had I been normal,
Not letting my mind into overdrive
Running wild with thoughts asynchronous,
Maybe then I could have finally put on a savoury smile.

Can't always be proving myself,
I should instead focus on growing myself
To deal with things I've never dealt with before,
Tackle all of the unknowns
Trying to hold on to my peace of mind,
Never letting go of the grind.
What if I lose myself in the process?
What has been the purpose of all this struggle?
Isn't it to find solace in all things uncertain?
Or just make peace with what you had always known,
Still not fit for the task, I have got to grow.

I have got to rise, be mature
Get real about the situation,
Can't escape anymore
Is it a stronger sense of urgency,
Or a deeper sense of complacency?
That keeps you dwelling
Upon how things will eventually turn out,
Maybe you've always known.
Even with the work, you'll probably still end up ashore
In a sea of ghosts,
Never once been able to set sail for the treasure island.

Don't let the result bother you, they say
Well, that's the novel approach,
You've always been told to stay awake.
Never resting, never sleeping
For you might miss your chance,
With your ever fading vision
It's getting rather harder to hang on,
To the thought of you ever climbing up the skies
Bringing upon a tear down your eye.

Regardless, the wheels of change are in motion
You have to play your part,
Even if you feel like a deserted hut on a mountain hill
Like a cactus plant on a long country road.
It feels like the strangest thing,
But now you have a deeper understanding
You have to put it all on the line again.
Let your purpose be all-consuming
For this time if you fall short,
You fail with a purpose
Of trying to never let go of it,
For now, you are closer than where you were before.

If I let my sins do the talking,
You'll only hear them say
Pleasure is all you were seeking,
Pain is what lead you to stay.
Knowing this story of right and wrong,
Of pleasure and pain, of black and white,
Has got no end
Things so often knock you off your spirit
Bring you down.
For it was never binary
But rather multifaceted,
It was all the colours that you had found.

Maybe that's the only lesson here
Altering your thought process,
To walk with different shoes at different times
Always staying on top of each phase.
Winning is rather inconsequential now
In the longer run,
You'd have enjoyed your date with destiny,
With all its ups and downs.
All the times you'd have previously frowned
Now you'll smile in the same place,
For now, you learnt how to let go
Of that two-faced coin,
Holding on to the idea that experiencing a multitude of emotions
Is still a better result than waiting for the ultimate win
Feeling all the colours of the rainbow after heavy rain.
.
alexandra May 2020
born in a world with so much to discover,
by the age of eight we begin to wonder,
as we grow up why does a place once filled with colour,
begin to make us shudder
veevee May 2020
Stop! Step through the door
And wear them new shoes.
You won’t need a hat any more,
But oh yes, love the hair!

You will need to be strong
While appearing dainty and pretty.
You will learn to disarm egos
With just a genuine smile.

Open your heart and share
With genuine concern.
It’s not who shouts the loudest
But who listens with empathy.

Well done, these clothes
Match the shoes so well.
Now let’s see you navigate
With them new shoes.

You will stumble as we have
But you are one of us now,
So stand strong and proud,
Daughter, sister, friend.
On maturing and learning
Talis May 2020
I was alone and crying
Yet, you didn’t seem to care

I should have known that you wouldn’t always be here

I had to be brave and stop being scared
So I decided to grow, by cut and dyeing my hair
Serene May 2020
It’s quite the contrary
For the things that nearly broke me
To end up as the very foundation of my rebuilding
The same things that caused my crumble
That left me in wreckage
Buried in debris
Questioning if I could ever again stand on my feet
Became the cornerstone of my very being
That which didn’t **** me, though it nearly
Truly did make me stronger
I once stood with shaky knees and trembling hands
Legs threatening to buckle beneath me
It was the hell of it all
Collapsing into myself
The final straw that caused my longest darkest fall
That forced me to pick up the pieces
And build myself into an indestructible wall
Because it was either build or wallow and die amongst the wreckage
Either craft myself a lifeboat
Or drown in the sea
But I chose to stay afloat
And now all the bad things
They’re what make me, me
Of course I don’t think
I deserved what happened to me
But these were the seeds that were planted
That which nourished my growth
These are the cornerstone
They tried to break me
But all they did was make my structure unwavering
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