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m a k a y l a Jul 2022
Sometimes I’d rather close my eyes and enjoy the ride
Other times I’d rather fight to be in the drivers seat
Both are overwhelmingly apart of who I am
But when the scale tips, who will win?
This is height vs width
Fight vs flight
Nature vs nurture
Ying vs Yang
Two in the same
The most vile form of pain
To be pulled by all for limbs at the same time
That’s pain
Pain that I would like to lay down
So I will do just that
Handing you the keys, closing the door on my way out
Watching the car move down the street as I wave
I think that’s what I’ll do
m a k a y l a Apr 2022
oh the freedom in being
the happiness that unfolds
I release it all
I release the tightness in my hands
I release the tension in my jaw
I release the breath I’ve been choking back
I release it all

oh the joy in being
the relief that follows
I release it all
I release the creases in my face
I release the tears in the trenches of my soul
I release the smile I’ve been punishing

oh to be
to breathe
to stretch
to smile
oh to simply be
m a k a y l a Oct 2021
I don’t know what to name it
It’s such a beautiful emotion
Provoking my heart to race against itself
Fooling my eyes
I can’t comprehend it’s weightlessness
It’s almost too freeing
My breath leaves me
My palms sink into the earth, it’s perfect
Everything is perfect
There is hope here
There is life here
It’s an indescribable emotion
m a k a y l a Oct 2021
A life of constantly fighting off grief

This life of longing

My life is reaching, stretching, sprinting for more

But what is more? It’s aimless, emptiness

It’s this life of mine, longing, grieving, longing

This is a life of longing
m a k a y l a Jul 2021
what a life it is to live

the desire of fierce solitude

the desire of a human touch

fighting for a place among you

to convince you

you are lonely

but you are not alone
m a k a y l a Jul 2021
it’s quiet

your back is in the grass
hands playing with the blades
the sky above you
the wind dances
your eyes are closed
everything is slow
breathing so slow

there’s nothing else

no heavy heart
no overworked mind
no empty feelings
its quiet

and there’s nothing else
m a k a y l a May 2021
there is quite a bit of anger in knowing that I am second

in every relationship, every friendship

i win second place, every single time

is it anger or embarrassment? a mix

anger from the moment my eyes can recognize the loosen feelings in yours

embarrassment from the realization that our eyes have connected

this sick game, the only one I seem to lose

first, a place I would never come to know

second, a place I would never come to leave
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