Hopeless is the heart of sorrow,
rattling through a hollow world,
drowning in its own emptiness.

Yet within the ache,
a voice awakes—
Soft as a mother’s song,
drifting through the morning mist,
calling her beloved home.

Gently,
oh gently,
ever so softly,
she rocks you—

Wake up, wake up...
You are fast asleep,
dreaming you are awake.

My love,
you are safe.

Here.
Now.

Cradled in silence,
within the endless womb of God.

When I walked into the bright light,                                                                    ­                                                        I knew I had just lost my life                                                                             
I came upon a set of stairs                                                                         ­                                              
 Saw the Lord waiting up there                                                                     ­                                      
  He said, "My child you are free"    
                                                                 ­                                
  Come on up & you will see                                                                         ­
All your pain & your despair                                                                      ­                           
You've left behind, down there                                                                      ­                                                     
I saw the angels coming down for me                                                                       ­                                              
 Light & goodness, an ocean breeze          
                                                                                                     
Lifting, gliding, peacefully                                                                        ­                                           
Feeling their light passed through me                                                                                    ­                                                 
  As Jesus stood watch over me,                                                                                 ­                                                        I raised my eyes up to see         
                                                                                                                    ­
The gates of Heaven & beyond                                                          
                                                                ­                                               
People gathered singing songs            
                                               ­                                                                 ­        
Old friends, dear pets & family                                                           ­ 
                                                               ­                                                   
All waiting for me so patiently                                                                          ­                                                      
Surrounded by love & purity                                                                       ­                                                      
I knew I was where I should be    
                                                                                                                       
A joyous rush poured over me                                                               ­                                               
                                                                ­                                                
When Jesus extended his hand to me

You do not attract what you want, you attract what you are / so if you want your epic love, you must be an epic lover / if you want abundance, you must be abundant / in other words, Universe does not respond to your want / it responds to your I am it responds to your energy / and the times I’d thought I found love, what I’d really found was whatever feeling I was operating from / and anger, desperation, fear, lack——none make very satisfying bedmates let me tell you / and none equal love

So be love / be love, and let the world love you back / do not think your empty prayers your daily affirmations will fool God / God’s language is not words

A body
  --aloft a state of tranquility
posthumous jurisdiction
  of failed sanctity
pulling on triggers
  bound by religious testimonies

Do I have to force
  these confessions out of me?

I've run out of words
  to describe this iniquity...

Yet, it seems like...
  I've forgotten
That despite the beauty of my soliloquies...
  I am still not well

The water is not deep enough
  to house a village
My breathing too shallow
  to be considered devout

Should I force these words
  out of me?
Protest these cliche metaphors
  and punch the gut that claimed I couldn't?

I have written a thousand testimonies
  yet none are enough to remember my salvation
What remains of my body
  but the skin and bone found on my knees
    mapped the entirety of this blasphemous tragedy

I want to get married, I say
and I want to run across every corner of the earth without stop;
but I think I have a soulmate
somewhere in Italy, sipping his after-dinner espresso
and I think I’ve probably got another, sailing around Greece
F_ck, I heard a Columbian’s accent for the first time last night
and—-though I’ve never been to South America—-
I’d bet there’s a few men waiting there for me too, and
How do you pack all the lives you want to live
into just one?
…

In one of our lives, we got married / bought a little house, down by the sea / played music in the mornings dancing wild through the kitchen / nothing but two sets of boxers and breakfast sizzling / retreated to our single studies in the evenings / slow jazz notes tumbling through the quiet hum / I gave you a couple of kids, so I could watch you be a father / and you were the most beautiful thing standing on two legs / teaching your son to ride a bike / cradling your newborn daughter / and every single day was enough / reason to love you harder
…

And still another, we were Old Gods
Intimately entwined of the infallible energies
Birthing entire planets and star systems
  of our chaos and of our joy

And time would pass
and we would grin
just watching
__

When I see the face of my maker here
I’ve never seen a more beautiful thing
My maker is not God nor is it fear
Fear is just the outcome and the offspring
So far gone are the values of our men
Fighting in the names of Gods expired
Crying for the right to love so long dead
On shaking ground but argued required
You’ll see the face of your maker and weep
When recognized by your own scarring heart
If eyes open to spot that bloodied creep
A maker’s face may close both from the start
Your matching face can only seem to choose
Decide if he’s the maker or are you

“when I see the moon rise in the deep sky, all  
large and looming,   that is hope

and as the sun is red-setting, throwing its last rays
of God-love over the hills,   that is hope

when a ranger sees the homeless man parked in
his illegal overnight spot, and decides not to
disturb his sleep,   that is hope

when you hear a dream from a friend of a wall of
steel wrapping your home whilst fire tornadoes
around it, and wake to find yours one of two
homes still standing,   that is hope

when a son who has received absolutely every
reason to leave, Will Not Abandon his abusive
elderly mother,   that is hope

when the city dims down enough to see the darkness,
lit by a Universe of stars——”

Dear god,
For all i have went through
I have no clue,
For why i have suffered
While not being heard,
You turned a blind eye
Letting my cries fade by,
You ignored my pleas
While i was on my knees,
Begging for you to take me
For which you never agree,
I wonder what i still have to see
In this world filled with misery.

What draws me in, to this?

Is it love, or something twisted—
Said a mother to her daughter
It's so hard to tell the difference

                            But please;
                                     I need to know the difference

"
I didn't understand then
And I won't pretend to know much more now;
All I can do is try to not be angry
                          
                            And at that, I'll fail.
                                                           ­        But I'll learn

"
I used to believe in the world, with an innocent infatuation for its goodness

Now I believe, with a knowing compassion for its faults

...

I think things that are perfect are easy to love;

         We meet God in our love for that which is not