have to find the center of a long alley
ice cream cones of last year, the craving
our way to the center, people buzzing over
so hard to guess the right thing of the wrong

lights are floating through the room, ghosty
at the center of the alley, we will find salvation
smoothen a path inside the snow of the past
frozen water, ice chunks, shannon, help me

have to find the center of a long alley
get me some ***** and a cake, let's go
eat it on-the-go, the best thing now is to go
your mental breakdown was the finest

for a long time, a long time, long time

The little child afraid of ghosts, ghouls and things that go bump in the night,
could never fathom being haunted by someone that is still alive.               The kid who hid behind his mother’s arm,
now stays awake at night dreaming of being in another’s arms.
The toddler who used to laugh all day,
searches online for reasons to stay alive .
The infant with the starry eyes and dreamy smile,
has forgotten what a laugh feels like.
The teenager who loved haunted houses and scary movies nights,
now cries herself to bed over lover boy.
How odd it is to be haunted by someone that is still alive.

Minutes, short puffs

hours fade away

and in the mist

I spell your name

you are fleeting

a ghost waltzing

through my hours

I grab at seconds

small beads slipping

between my fingers

I become my own hourglass

holding on to your shadow

and gliding back and forth

within nostalgia

The ghosts surround me

They glow, almost like stars, faint, transparent, barely seen
An eerie trace among the depths, trailing me
It almost feels suffocating, like I’m on the edge of losing it all
Like the phantoms will take me away from this world,
plunging me into the darkness

They then suddenly start singing
The language and words are strangely familiar,
like a distant memory too far away for me to remember
It feels as though I’m in a trance, a dream-like state, unaware of the boundaries of space and time.

It’s almost enough to make me forget you

Almost

I have questions, so many of them
They swirl around in my brain,
a mess of loose threads and ends I can’t quite tie together
I want to speak, to say the words lodged in my throat
To scream out loud for everyone to hear

Where are you?

No one replies

Everything is quiet, except for the soft sound of music
I feel tired, my eyelids heavy
I want to sleep, to wake up and see that you’re there
I want to escape this place, to run away from all these ghosts and shadows following me
I want you here

I miss you.

The ghosts are more visible now, their pale faces emotionless
They’ve stopped singing too
All eyes are on me, the air suddenly sticky and warm

They watch
They wait
No one speaks

They don’t need to
I know it’s too late.

But somewhere in time, if I could somehow rewind things far enough,
I still believe with every bit of me that you’re still there,
waiting patiently

Smiling

Alive

I close my eyes
I hear faint singing, notes and melodies strung from the past and future, intertwining together
The cold wind the ghosts brought has left,
replaced with a new warmth

They’re bringing me back, back out there without you,
And I let them.

No one's coming to save you
Get used to that
Feel so alone
Run out of things to say
Everything feels so empty
When I run out of ideas to share
And nothing excites me anymore
And I bang my head against these walls
And I don't stop
And the cranks are turning
And they never stop turning
And it's getting tighter
And it's getting nearer
And it won't stop hunting
And it won't stop hurting
As long as you're beating
I can hear it's blood travelling
Keep it away please
Please keep it away from me
It has no face and it scares me
No one can seem to name it
Slithers back
Back to where it can't be seen