there is a point of no return
unthinkingly dismissed
a line crossed
bringing instant regret;
each and every decision
up until that moment
questioned
lamented
and rued
i have just crossed
that threshold again

the hangnail was
bitten and pulled
until flesh was torn
and the blood ran
now there is nothing
but discomfort

knowing full well
what i was doing;
there is no excuse
for such folly

Tap. Tap.
Distant sound from above
Kept silent within a fragile soul
Tap. Tap.
Drowned out through fear and love
A wind beyond a persons control

Tap. Tap.
The baying of the storm
Branches frolicking on every gust
Tap. Tap.
Long shadows start to form
Fickle weather displays it’s disgust

Tap. Tap.
When will it cease?
How does the window not shatter every time?
Tap. Tap
Darkness within, fearing a release
As the peace is shattered in my mind

Tap. Tap.
Glass explodes within its rage
The storm whistles through empty eyes
Tap. Tap.
Anger escapes its fiery cage
Smashing all that it touches with its cries

Tap. Tap.
The storm is let loose
The fire, the fury, the furore
Tap. Tap
Through insatiable abuse
Frustration angrily reaches its glory

Tap. Tap.
There’s nowhere to turn.
No escape from the pain it spreads
Tap. Tap.
As the world starts to burn
All placations are torn to shreds

Tap. Tap.
The clouds roll past and the winds subside
As tranquility restores the mind
Tap. Tap.
Regrets form like tears and fall like pride
Promising no more, promising nothing. No next time.

Tap. Tap.

"**** stupid raccoons!"
An angry man, ****** at everything in the moment
fiercely kicked his dumped-over trash can into the street, as he stared enraged at the mess of thrown out crap that laid open
for all to see.
A neighbor seeing his crazy fit of rage jested,
"You know, trash cans have feelings too."

To which the angry man replied,
"Yeah!  And they should feel like garbage!"

Reaching out,
what was out of reach
the mountain of air
built by the ignorant, I
-

                            a waterfall
forms an empty sea

-
shouts of anguish
                         , whispers

                     to

               m e

-
a faucet
with nothing to;
bleed

-
n(a)ive girl
weeping from the sounds
of mockery

"My mind is everywhere right now.. [it] isn't focused on one thing when I have so much going on right now"

I know deeply. I know best, outside of it all. Trust me, it pains me every day.

From the sweet messages to our time together, there is an emptiness I can literally see. In you, between us: I can feel your pain, I can literally feel it, like it's filling my veins. I do truly feel it all.

It's never not on my mind, the struggles you go through.

The pain you feel.. I felt yours, while I still have my own. I embrace you, not knowing how or why, but as if it were the only thing I knew to do; like it was alwasy meant to be, meant for you; to be calm, to give you a place of reprieve.

Even if just for a moment I could give you some sense of peace, or even joy, I could know you will be okay. To see you smile, to hear your laughter, but in spite?.. I know, everything will be okay.

But until that moment, until a time when the dust settles and some sense of normality or goodness can be had without the sense of dread burning down the lines that keep one's bridges safe and secure, I can never be truly satisfied, or content, or even happy, on my own. Not that I would be incapable, but I would not choose to feel that without knowing you do too.

I would not leave you behind, I would not set you aside, I will never ignore you. Because, I've seen your soul; I've touched your aura, I know your kindness, and to watch an angel burn like that instills this rattling pain that resonates through me, entirely. It hurts, more than anything I've known before. It hurts me to know you're struggling; the indecisiveness and foggy mind..

In secret places you still remember, I know it whispers to you softly, all the things you wish you never had to know; and it breaks my heart over and over to know yours could ever be so broken right now, too..