two syllables
never left your tongue
you sung it
like a song
stuck in your head

a constant reminder
that I was the one
you were talking to
when you followed
with three more words

it was never the way
you said my name
but the way
you never made me
forget it

Small red tablet
I am now drowsy

Small red tablet
I now forget *****

Small red tablet
I am now suddenly happy

Small red tablet
I now forgot what sorrow is

I don't know. Don't
Remember
What it felt like to not remember.
Sunkissed skin like ******
That ****** poems and backward humor could never win. My heart
Like a box of sweet tarts
With messages on them, like:
"Be mine." And,
"Stay with me." And,
"Will you be my Valentine?" Because I
Don't know. Don't
Remember
What it felt like to not remember.
Freckled cheeks paired with lips that have sung
Words I only remember because it stung to not
Remember. Her voice
Barely audible over child-like giggles and my silent praise of her perfect prose that
Fidgets and struggles,
Trying to roll off my bloodied tongue so that she can hear
And know
What it feels like for me to constantly remember
The space her image fills in my temples that trembles and threatens to fade.
Because it's easier to sway me to
Not- want to know.
Not- wand to remember.
What it felt like to remember.

it had slipped
from my grasp
that warm toned memory
                        a   l o o s e   t h r e a d
                    t h a t    s n a p p e d
yet left its indentations on my mind
its fingerprints behind my eyes
i can still remember how bright the sun was that day
and the tilt of someone's lips towards the sky
someone i can't seem to recall
someone that doesn't ring a bell
but whose laugh still floats around in the air
i can't seem to
               remember.

Forgetting you is something I can't seem to do

I wished for closure upon your lips.

All of me wants all of you

But, I think the idea of us is what I'll truly miss.

I never was the kind of girl
Who hid my face
Was not afraid to tell the world
What I had to say

But this nightmare came
Knocking at my door
I can't let it show
The inside is so hollow, so hollow

This ain't real, this ain't me
I'm not exactly where I'm supposed to be now
Can't let the light shine on me
Now I've lost who I am
The only way to hold it in
Is just hiding who I wanna be
*** this ain't me.

Do you know what it's like to feel so in the dark?
To dream about a life where you know who you are
Even though it seems like it's so close to me
I just can't believe in myself, it's the only thing

This ain't real, this ain't me
I'm not exactly where I'm supposed to be now
Can't let the light shine on me
Now I've lost who I am
The only way to hold it in
Is just hiding who I wanna be
*** this ain't me.

I'm the voice you hear inside your head
I'm why your ears are ringing
You need to find me
You gotta find me

I'm the missing piece you need
The reason that you're falling
You need to find me
You gotta find me

This ain't real, this ain't me
I'm not exactly where I'm supposed to be now
Can't let the light shine on me
Now I've lost who I am
The only way to hold it in
Is just hiding who I wanna be
*** this ain't me.

This ain't me

But I can find who I am
And keep myself from holding in
No more hating who I used to be
*** that ain't me.

Your apologies
are empty and I don't give
out second chances

4:32 PM
30/11/20

In a beautiful dawn, I fall silently
Every single day, yes surely.

Dear, you forgot everything carefully,
How could you had said good bye so naturally?

Every night you came by,
Like a queen from the sky.

You came with the letter of eloquence,
And with the  melodious song and sequence.

Evening to night, we played Snakes and Ladders,
I lost many times, so that your crescent smile would had showed up, my dear.

We dreamed with our pairs of lips,
We talked with our pair of eyes.

So many words,
And so many songs.

Dear, you forgot everything carefully,
How could you had said good bye so naturally?

I don't think about you anymore
I don't  dream us anymore.

I spent my life to forget you and me,
Yet,  you stayed at my memory and me.  

In a beautiful dawn, I fall silently
Every single day, yes surely.

This place
It feels familiar
Darkness envelopes me
I stick my hand out
At arms length is a wall
Four corners
No door
Trapped

I reach above
Right over my head
Is the top
It feels familiar
These wall's surrounding me
On all sides are
Damp

I take a deep breath
The air is dry
Despite the walls
Each breath leaving me
Makes me thirsty

Suddenly, there's a light
Seeping through the walls
It was dim
But just enough
I find it
The way out

A handle
Clearly wan't there
Before
I open the door
And sprint through

SLAM!
Darkness
What happened?

This place
It feels familiar
Darkness envelopes me
I stick my hand out
Four corners
No door
Repeat