You think you're golden.

You're just a delicious lie wrapped in false promises.

And like the gratification of the taste,
Your pleasures are fickle and temporary.

You can fake the shine -
Polish the luster of your smile -
But any open eye can decipher what's real
And you're not.

You think you're golden
And you are.
Fool's gold always has value
As long as fools shall search.

I know the stories that you tell
I have them memorized so well
I take you at face value
Every time
You're everything I want
You're nothing I could hate
Hope you don't hesitate
Will you be mine?

I see the electric sunshine
I see the electric sunshine
I see the electric sunshine
In your eyes

It's nothing but a bruise
It doesn't mean abuse
It's just a disagreement
I'll be fine
He still loves me the same
He tells me it's okay
He knows just what to say
Every time

I see the electric sunshine
The mask you hide behind
I see the electric sunshine
In your eyes

I know the stories that you tell
I know they're just pathetic spells
You thought I'd fall for it
Every time
You're no longer what I want
You're everything I've come to hate
Now your gone for good and I know
I'll be fine

I saw the sunshine in your eyes
The light you flipped on with a switch
And when it turned out to be lies
I turned into a *****
And I cut the cord to the ties that bound
I'm happy without electric sunshine now
I've seen the light without you
*I let it shine

Recurring thoughts, dark visions of a reality that can never be. A false time with false hope. Harsh lives, perishing in smoke.

I truly fail to understand
Why it’s gotten out of hand.
It seems so very odd
There are so many God
Is supposed to have ordained
Some aren’t even trained.
There is an absolute dearth
Of an actual true rebirth
In the revivifying blood of Jesus.
It’s almost like allergic sneezes.

Pastures full of pastors.
Priests and beasts.
Defectors and rectors.
Pickers and vicars.
Bleachers full of preachers.
Clerics and hysterics.
Papal delegates and celibates.
Televangelists and Adventists
And hostile Pentecostals.

We are becoming overrun
With an ecumenical kind of fun
In which before we can holler
Another puts on a backward collar
And starts tell us what to do.
When the rebirthing is through
They are on their park soapbox
And ******* about our Xbox;
Telling us what we should watch
And the coffee in our coffee klatch
Is unGodly because Jesus never drank it.
Makes me want to grab and spank it
Before it multiplies. Jerks, those guys.

Pastures full of pastors.
Priests and beasts.
Defectors and rectors.
Pickers and vicars.
Bleachers full of preachers.
Clerics and hysterics.
Papal delegates and celibates.
Televangelists and Adventists
And hostile Pentecostals.

Do your emotions party? Like days they just decide to all meet up in your mind to dance?

This might end up being One of the expressions of my puzzled soul that comes off quite hard to understand

But then again, Life' s hard to understand. Simply amazing reflecting on the things I've been able to With stand.

To repeatedly flicker off the rains I stand under without anyone to stand with & keep faith that it's all part of a plan.

On any evening without invite, my emotions show up and dance. They slide and prance, & the ruckus from their foxtrot transforms to words that escape through my hands.

Words to script & they proceed to dance, and maybe one day I'll be dancing with them if I'm ever gifted the chance.

If not, it's okay, there has to be more to life than Romance, right?

Things that are more captivating than a bewitching glance, exceeding the rush of pulling down pants, some alternate force that can also add a bounce to my stance at night.

They tell us soul mates aren't fiction, that some day we'll all say "I do" & drown out cheering applause while we grasp that mate on marble floors doing the salsa.

Laughable, there couldn't be anything falser.

**I know I'll be dancing alone.

Carefully laid thoughts had strayed,
      And logic, ideals, tossed away
           Ready and willing, I told you, that day

But you say you don't remember.

The world, it's values demeaned by sins
       Stubborn, I would not follow them
            The love for you, resurrected them,

But you say you don't remember.

One child was enough, I ne'er wanted more
       Until our time together bore
             The thought, with you, a family, "soon"

But you say you don't remember.

You've always had trouble with your memory,
But the things dear to you, always seemed less troubling.
And I can't help but think, If to you, it meant anything.

As for me?                                                                  
I'll always remember.

I dread the day,
The moment when
I take his hand.
And wish it was yours.
I have nightmares about
His kiss on my forehead,
My fake, plastered smile
Because of what's wrong.
Something forgotten, and lost, and replaced.  
And my guilt that I feel as
I remember.
How I let time slip
Through my fingers.
And I'll look up at his face,
Into his dear, kind eyes,
And my heart will scream.
Because my life will have become a song with a missing a verse.