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Lea Jun 2018
I’m sorry
It was not my intention
to disrupt the peace
Or to see gargoyles and gypsies
In the corners
I did not mean to chat with shadows
Or to try to walk with my arms
I’m sorry
I never planned
This hunched existence
Squinting over paper
Ink-stained knuckles
Fairy-fuelled thoughts
I did not choose to mumble
To myself, bits of stories
So I wouldn’t forget
Pretty lines such pretty pretty words
I did not mean to cherish them
Like jewels or mornings
But once they were fastened
around my neck
Once they are shining around me
Being without them was choking
Lifeless
I’m sorry
lilly Jun 2018
perhaps this has lost its spark

perhaps i no longer feel the words hanging on the edge of my tongue
waiting for my mouth to open and for them to drip off
onto paper
the way they always used to
used
to

or perhaps the doors to my mouth (heart) have been slammed shut by expectations
from my family (no)
my friends (no)
society (no it's not)

from myself

exams and grades and my overwhelming urge to try hard and work hard and do well and i'm just so scared of failing—

it builds upon my shoulders
i feel like atlas carrying the weight of the earth except
there's nothing beautiful in the weight i'm carrying
there's nothing living

perhaps i'm thinking too much
this might just be paranoia (no)
this might just be writer's block (no)
this might just be me being me (it's not)

perhaps i've just lost a bit of inspiration

*perhaps i've just lost a bit of myself
maybe i just don't know
DP Younginger May 2018
Watch closely as I construct my Monday forecast,
I see clouds shifting this way with bags under its eyes,
A rainy day is approaching,
It's been summer for over a year,
It's been gloomy at times,
I've had the occasional sprinkle,
But, there is a storm headed this direction,
Expectations.

You see, it didn't drizzle that day,
Stuck in a drought, I crave the waters of the sky,
But when you expect things to happen, the head is rotated counter clockwise,
I sit and wait, way too much,
My love used to say that,
The queued are the *******, your patience will let you down like tears from the sky,
I feel her words with every innuendo of new days to come,
Expectations.

They are glorious dreams to rocket a brain into space,
But, what goes up must come down eventually...right?
I tried to think the worst, but when the tears slid down her cheeks, my heart lurched,
It rose with a recharged happiness that I have never felt before,
Once again, her first words spitting "I can't",
Poking a hole in my overinflated pumper, the juice leaks into my stomach,
A wounded gut,
She is always right,
This heart was floating so high, but with a puncture...it scattered like a runaway balloon,
Expectations.

You love em',
You hate em',
But hating them is a quick glance into what is next,
Live for now,
Love later,
Conquer your ridiculous hopes,
Goals-
And those pesky expectations.
Carmella Rose May 2018
as i looked at the mirror
i asked who are you?
nothing replied
it’s just me
too different
i can’t remember
the times where i recognize myself
i put on too much
mask for everyone
i kept listening to the same old music
i opened a door in my mind
cameras are flashing
on my eyes
i didn’t find someone
i just found myself
alone in darkness
where i could feel
everyone is watching
expecting me to create fire
when i only breathe ice
i thought if i pretended
that i was not a fool
and get up to
their expectations
i would be happy
but i didn’t i just caused
the real me to be lost
in paradise of hell
where the crowd is the judge
and you’re a contestant,
but they didn’t know
fools eventually
change the
world
life is a game, please be true, love yourself more you deserve all the love in this world, be a fool in a world full of critics.
Carolina May 2018
When your heart aches
and your soul cries.
When you feel lonely
and you struggle to get through the night.
When your chest hurts
and you're sad to the core.
When you give your best
but they ask for more.
When you feel empty,
you're full of void.
When life means nothing
but the devil's joy.
When your hands shake
while you're playing your part.
When you feel so afraid
you may never be loved back.
When you see nothing
but your future grave
and those judging eyes
turn the other way.
When everything you do is never enough
and the little good things
not a second last.
When all of that happens choose to create art.
lexi May 2018
When I look in the mirror
I don't see a successful
beautiful
unique
girl
I see an ugly
worthless
disgusting
person
who isn't
and can never be
good enough
Anna May 2018
Maybe, maybe, maybe
Maybe you love me or maybe
it’s an illusion of what I so deeply
yearn to feel.

Maybe I’m just in love with the idea
of what could be
Maybe it’s not us who are meant to be

Maybe love isn’t for us
Maybe we’re going in the wrong direction
Maybe we need more than just someone to trust
Maybe we have too high expectations

Maybe I love you
Maybe I don’t
Either way, maybe you need to know.
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