The sharp jagged edge,
An exhausted little beak
Bedraggled feathers.

monsters don't live inside my head
or in my heart, or under my bed
they walk amongst me-- in day,
and at night
they whisper honeycomb sweetness
in my abundant ears whilst
blinding me with pale sunlight.
monsters don't live inside my head
they mask themselves in a façade of
overgrown riverbeds--
deep-rooting themselves within my
oesophagus and i am choking, choking
oh but i cannot get enough of this.
monsters live
in bone marrow
in hair follicles
in overgrown fingernails
burrowed like a perpetual parasite
until they become a part of my DNA;
a mutation, the cancer that causes
paranoia and maybe a little psychosis, psychosis.
i am not crazy
i am not crazy
there are just monsters
there are just monsters.
they grip my hand as i walk down the street
intertwine their fingers into the cracks in
my bones and i do not fight back--
i am tirelessly tired of tiresome tug-of-war.

"oh, just shoot me in the head,"
her voice was laced with weariness and defeat,
"it would feel like the same thing, the way you're treating me."

i am drained
so drained
so very drained
i cannot seem to find
solace
within a single thing
i am so drained
just let me lay
don't speak
your words have done
enough already

i am so exhausted by consistently loving you while you inconsistently "love" me

i'm so physically,
mentally,
and emotionally
exhausted.
i'm so tired
no amount of sleep
will help me.
i'm so tired
but
my thoughts are racing
at one hundred miles an hour.
but i can't quiet them.
i can't sleep,
i can hardly eat -
i'm so sick of this place.


but i'm trying my best to be better.

"I love you"** was your easiest lie.
I wish you'd just let me go and say "goodbye".
Holding me, well it must of made you arms burn.
Reading me, you did it so often but you never did learn.
Kissing me, mostly likely seared the tip of your tongue.
Seeing me, probably made you feel nothing but numb.
But "I love you."
Was so easy to say.
To you, "I love you" was a phrase to just keep me to stay.