been here
done that
show me something new
something blue
show me everything

I am all the books I’ve ever read, all the movies I’ve ever seen, all the songs I’ve ever heard
I am the snippets of conversation I overhear in the dining hall
I am the scribbles on the chalkboard of my 11 am class
I am the coffee stains on my mother’s mail
I am the torn out pages of my journal
I am the whispers in library study rooms
I am the thumping music of the club I am too young to be in
I am the blood dripping from a wound made too fast too deep too careless
I am the popping in my ears as my plane steadily ascends beyond heights any person should go
I am the angry yelling I try not to hear
I am the deafening silence I wish would be interrupted
I am the heartbeat racing faster and faster and faster as I lay completely still in bed, head covered my my blanket
I am the too-loud laughter in early hours of the morning
I am the tears blurring vision as I receive bad news
I am hope
I am fear
I am hate
I am love
I am everything

if you zoom out a little, the stars disappear.
a scattered array of backlit windows take their place, illuminating a world of their own.
if you zoom out a little farther, even those disappear.
how far must we zoom until there’s nothing?
if everything is quantified by our perspective,
what exists beyond our sight?
nothing?

everything?

hello?
are you there?
you never answer,
when I call out your name.
maybe your mind,
is somewhere else.
i hope,
your heart isn't too.

It doesn't matter
That our eyes didn't meet
When we passed in the hall
That they sat somewhere else
While I looked straight ahead
And laughed too loud
With all their old friends

It doesn't matter
That we only talk when they want to
We flirt in careless circles
If you could even call it that
We hit a rough patch
I should leave you behind
For those that care who I really am

It doesn't matter
That I always end up
Close to crying
I ought to get you out of my mind
But you remembered my birthday
And the pronouns my friend told you
Why did I ruin this
Why did I ruin this