Today I will become an ephemeral thing
the mist in the flowers
the feeling in the forest that you are not alone
the ocean’s salt caress
No one can touch me
They do not have the right
My gifts are only for those who seek them
and have the strength to bear their weight

I look at you
A ghost without boundaries
My hands reaching out
To grasp your heart
Nothing there to stop me

I look at you
Ephemeral
And ethereal
I wonder when you’ll see
The way I view you
An abstract concept
Far away
Never to be found
Never to be touched
Yet an object of limerence
An object of love
That is not to be realized

Saudade
Object of obsession
You are nothing more than that
You are much more than that

A ghost without boundaries
Dead yet alive in my mind
Fitting in the puzzle pieces
As I fit the parts of my heart
Last time it fell for you

The moon hums in a new style
Ah, pretty little beauty spot, opens a slice of sky
On the door of tomorrow in the serene shadow of night
Keeping the ears down, alleyways of stars lie down.
The sea too rolls out high waves of rhymes
Only then will the veiled mystic night  
Opens once a kohl-dark, enigmatic eye
On the door of tomorrow deep down the night.

"چاند ایک نئے انداز میں گنگنائے گا۔"
"Chaand ek naye andaaz mein gungunaega."

"اہ، خوبصورت چھوٹا سا حسین تل، آسمان کا ایک ٹکڑا کھولے گا۔"
"Ah, khoobsurat chhota sa haseen til, aasman ka ek tukda khole ga."

"کل کے دروازے پر، رات کے پرسکون سائے میں۔"
"Kal ke darwaze par, raat ke pursukoon saaye mein."

"کان نیچے رکھتے ہوئے، ستاروں کی گلیاں بھی جھکتی ہیں۔"
"Kaan neeche rakhte hue, sitaron ki galiyan bhi jhukti hain."

"سمندر بھی اونچی قافیوں کی لہریں بہا دیتا ہے۔"
"Samandar bhi oonchi qafiyon ki lehren baha deta hai."

"تب ہی پردہ دار روحانی رات ایک بار اپنی کاجل سیاہ، پراسرار آنکھ کھولتی ہے!"
"Tab hi pardah daar rohani raat ek baar apni kajal siyah, purasrar aankh kholti hai!"

کل کے دروازے پر رات کے گہرائیوں میں
"Kal ke darwaze par raat ke gehraaiyon mein"

The caterpillar marches
Munching from leaf to leaf to leaf
He doesn’t know where he’s going
He doesn’t know where he’s been
He only knows the munching
The hunger in his gut
The fire in his belly
Antennae pointing up
Vigilant for predators
Water and leaves
He doesn’t know where he’s going
It matters not where he’s been

The caterpillar weaves
Instinctively without knowing
Why he must, but weaves he does
A cocoon for the growing
The caterpillar digests himself
Dissolving into soup
Becoming a pod of pain and tears
And caterpillar goop
Alone for weeks he suffers
Reconfiguring
His whole body becoming
A new kind of being

No idea what he’s becoming
No idea what’s in store
Suddenly caterpillar emerges
More beautiful than before
Stronger and more delicate
Lighter than the air
Ready for love and lofty height
A sight beautiful and rare
The butterfly does not look back
To the caterpillar he was
The butterfly flies forward
Embracing whatever comes

I read and read but the words do not stick
trying to forge a path but the plants are too thick
my brain fills with mist, my days i reminisce
i was simple before the downloads
now i etch the voices of my mind into the poetry i write
so i shuffle my tarot cards laced with divine
now is never the time, they say, i fray
i am fickle, riddled with adversity
i am tickled by you thinking you deserve me
a dinner date and you expect to open my legs
i say my thoughts but they get lost in your primitive state
ephemeral, see me through the lens of withdrawal
chemical, plentiful, ego mixed with alcohol

Soft seed circles, poplar motes descend
Come to rest, on this green slumber of Thames,
Just here, I drop my bike,
Moved to write,

All around they fall
Then rest like stars
An infinite blur ,kissing at my ears,
I am in a galaxy

Ancient light slowly turns above
I cannot remember last seeing that,
The infinite twinkle and smudge
Edge of earth to edge of earth
That makes you disappear,

I feel some of that now
The slow turning
Forever falling

25.6.22

Re-write 10/4/23, 10/11/24