Both our hearts are caught in between
Envy coating us pistachio-green
A varnish not shiny but smooth
Reflecting light the tiniest move
Eye-catching beauty to who dares look
A white pebble sparkling in a slow-paced brook
Containing jealous winds with restraints of ink
Emotions grow faster than you think
What starts as cloudy weather goes from small to bad
Soon a storm of feelings leaves you powerless and sad

the sun caught in my eyes
and
for a minute i was holding you -
holding your hand,
trembling inside
but still as stone outwardly;
safe,
rooted,

my heart gathered love
like eager hummingbirds
collect sap.

i wanted to tell you
then
how every time you leave
another piece of me goes
with you.

because the truth is

i am and
i’m not
jealous.

really,
it’s envy -

envy
of those who
get to see your smile
every morning
while i dream of a day
when it’s the smile
i wake up to.

in my mind
i’ve already said
those three words but
now
i hold them close
to the heart that beats
for the love of you

the heart you carry
next to yours.

time passes by, an hour wasted, an hour I never get back........wasted inside some kind of spiral of depression and fantasy.
I'll watch my life and feelings slip away to nothing as the music I once loved fills my ears with distorted sound that I once loved and sung along to.
it's steady beats hitting my ear drums over and over again but I'm not really listening I slip away into some alter ego character
and I watch infinitely as she enjoys her life as I go farther away from my own world, my brain, my home.
did I ever have one in the first place? a warm happy home No, no I didn't so I thought to create one. One with love and care... warmth that's all I want
but it got boring. So her ran head first into the storm and now she's taken over me.
and I go numb as I infinitely watch as she enjoys her life as I slip away. I'm a shell now not of who I used to be or even a shell of her I am just eyes watching inside and out. I shall sleep forever, lost in the valley of her world unable to let go of her of this mysterious girl who I can't throw away

We are the empaths,
Others’ burdens fall unto our shoulders,
Solaced because we deal with the aftermath,
And it is our hearts that smolder.
We feel eternity,
Suffer every blow,
So they may know equanimity,
Our own desire forgo.
It is no condition to be envied,
Something no one should suffer,
Too soon it leaves you feeling empty,
And the reverse of what you once were.
Selflessness begets selfishness,
We are left hollowed out,
Left now to our self-interest,
Because for so long we went without.

Rid me of this burdensome curse
A power envied by many
Yet I have no desire for such

Let your eyes twinkle
Illuminating all that is beautiful and kind

With no influence from
The fright inducing hypnosis
Inside these piercing black eyes