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Fredy Sanchez Apr 2020
Today I woke up with your name on my tongue
364 nights have passed assuring everyone "there's really nothing wrong"
364 mornings since you left, and outside theyre playing another christmas song
Since that day your name's been unspoken as if it didn't belong
And now almost a year after
I'm still a mess a broken down disaster...
A speeding train that to his demise, travels faster and faster
Trying to find lady death just so I could ask her:

Why was it you the one who had to leave?
Why did your soul she couldn't wait to retrieve.
Yet she remains quiet, she thinks I'm too naive
Or she knows how much you're missed, even the house had to grieve
The house? Yes the house dealt with it better than I did

When the not so silent tears threatened to fall from my face
When the nights beat my self inflicted drowsiness on their nightly race..
While, my music played as background noise, just in case
The house creaked and moaned in hopes of shushing my disgrace

Today I woke up with my tongue burning with your name..
Reminding me that your body gave up but not your flame.
Reminding me that even when you lose, its fine, its just a game..
And that lady luck, isn't a good for nothing *****, but an elegant dame..
Who should be courted, dined and tamed.

And I sit at the bar and order a beer
It's 12:01, its been exactly a year...
The winter is definitely colder without you here
Fredy Sanchez Apr 2020
I was on my way to the ground

Face first, pavement bound,

Felt like atlas with the sky on me,

Expectations made me try to flee

My shoulders buckled and my knees gave out

You had to chuckle while I had to shout,

"The world is unfair, I'm stuck on this maze".

Yet you remained completely unfazed.

You looked in my eyes and you told me the truth:

To be happy is to fight nail and tooth

What good is to wish, what good is to hope?

If nothing is done, except that bottle to cope?

Course snow hits my face enough to muddy my brain.

more lies just in case, they suspect you're insane.

There is no one to blame except the one with the pen

You were never alone I was your friend...

And As long as you promise my heart to mend.

I'll promise you:

If you carry the sky then I'll carry you"

the weight dropped to the floor,

The sky was falling, and I care no more.

For As long as you're right next to me,

I will forever be...

Fredy Sanchez Apr 2020
The light in your eyes grows dim every day...

*** you got to stop and listen to what they have to say

As if,

their opinion mattered....

As if,

your hopes were shattered

As if,

Your dreams have scattered...

To a godforsaken place

And its the only way to save face...

And your life is burning up at an alarming rate.

You sit and blame it all to fate..


Can you see the fire before the ashes?


You can't even see past your perfect eyelashes....

As if,

with make up on.... your dreams won't drown

As if,

The next line....will make it fine

As if,

One more puff...will be enough

To light you way

At least for one more day...


Made with total disrespect

those marks upon your neck,

Paint a gloomy image of your past.

And with the lies you were told

they helped to mold,

The women whose tears fall fast

As if,

You need forgive your sins.

As if,

Your life is lost

'*** of the higher cost

Of living...

so you keep on the deceiving

The people who look out for you...

The people who strive to...

Make sure the light in your eyes

Stays bright not dim...

And all *** of him?

A sorry excuse of a ****?

**** that and him!

And now your lips touch bottle

After this shot it's on, Full throttle!

As if,

Its really fine... he's twenty-nine

As if,

Its ok that at sixteen... you're just a fiend

as if, you're far from home... and you're all grown....

But it

Shouldn't be that way....

You shouldn't have to dread another day...

And after all you've been through

Still these words won't reach you...

*** with your make up on

And the bottle gone

those marks upon your neck

make you feel you have respect....

And that's enough for you it seems

While I sit wondering why your light grows dim
Fredy Sanchez Mar 2020
This is a story now long forgotten
Of how cruel the world can be,
Situated in a world that was so rotten,
Where men were as evil as they could be.
There was this man you see,
Tied to his wife but never had he felt so free.
Living happily,
He was young and newlywed,
Content he laid on his bed,
Keeping worries and problems at bay,
For his days were never gray.
Because his wife was next to him,
Everything was perfect or so it seemed.
But envy, old as the snake itself,
It corrupts the brain and poisons the heart,
And in this story plays a big part.
For the man's brother who we'll call John,
Had envy tattooed to the bone.
He hated his mother, his brother even himself,
And thats how our story begins.
The man of our story whose name I forgot,
Was really a doctor from a small town,
 on a sad night he was called down.
A strange woman was standing outside his front door.
He thought he had seen this lady before,
But he couldn't place where,
The doctor good and fair
- ma'am, what seems to be The problem at hand?
She fibbed through her teeth like only the liars can:
-I'm sorry good doctor for bothering you at night,
Is just drunk as he was my husband got into a fight.
Without another word the doctor readied his horse,
And to the pub he set course.
Little did he know
That night he was to be delivered a fatal blow.
For in the shadows John was waiting,
He saw his brother's image on the distance fading.
He paid the woman without care
A life for a miniscule fare
And with malice in his eyes he made his move.
He forced the back door,
Walking carefully almost not touching the floor.
Slithering through the furniture,
Looking for his prey with no sign of ineptitude.
He stood next to her room.
Inside ignorant was she of her impending doom.
Her brown long hair danced with the wind.
While outside waiting was the fiend.
Through the cracked door he stole more than a glance
Staring dumbfounded, as if in a trance
Jacqueline was her god given name
Her spirit, like her locks, too wild to tame
She walked to the window to see the night sky.
She morosely watched the heavy clouds glide.
And in an instant he moved to her side.
He forcefully grabbed her head,
Threw her violently against the bed.
And what he proceeded to do we shall not tell.
Because you can imagine it well.
In vain she struggled against his chockeful grip.
She yelled, screamed and kicked.
But he wouldn't let go until he was done.
And like the wind her sanity was gone.
So wishing death would come like never before,
Bereft of any hope she laid on the floor
Bleeding out forlorn tears.
When faced directly in front of her fears.
Who knew one person all this havoc could wreak
He ominously crouched so she could hear him speak,

You filthy *****!
I'll walk out that door
And never again will you see my brother or me,
I know this is the way is supposed to be.
For is your fault I committed this act,
You tempted me, that's but a fact.
As he said this he lit up a match and threw it calmly on the bed,
The fire spread.
And the sky wept.
The doctor was soaking wet,
Furious for being lied to he cursed under his breath.
And headed on home,
Where he knew he was to be welcomed.
By his beautiful wife,
The one he swore he'd be with for life.
But the image he saw shocked him to the core.
Because where his house stood before,
Hell was unleashed with no restraint,
Only the wicked were here no saints.
The culprit was there standing still.
Of the fire he couldn't get his fill.
Laughing was he.
His eyes jumping with glee.
Then his gaze fell upon his brother's shocked look.
The doctor's pain, his anger overtook
The towering inferno served as the only light.
As He stood speechless watching her dress burning in the night.
While The fire behind them painted a fenereal scene
John's real intentions were yet to be seen

And After wishing he could turn back the clock
He woke up from his initial shock
Now The Doctor's lone thought was avenging his late wife
Unconsciously hellBent on ending his brother's life.
He carelessly launched a blind attack
Which John masterfully parried and countered back
And was bout to deliver the last blow,
When he said. I just want you to know.
It was you, who she was calling,
When to hell her soul was falling
He flashed once again that sinister grin
And was bout to commit yet another sin.
When be it for nature, luck or a higher being.
From the skies lighting came down and struck the fiend.
He fell next to the doctor who was struck too.
And a black crow next to them flew.
To serve as a witness to their farewells.
Serenated in the distance by the city bells..

John said nothing as he entered Hell...
And our doctor had so little time yet so much to tell...
Even a second without his Jacqueline
Was an eternity too long
He would gladly face his reckoning if he could only right this wrong
This was my best attempt at honoring the great Allan Poe
Fredy Sanchez Mar 2020
Walking alone by a desolate park
Shouldn't have been there, it was well after dark
I heard a noise, quite like a bark
I'll be honest it caught me off guard "Where you from dawg?"
Came the question from a guy who was probably.... the same age as me...
Some voice, whispered, Don't stand there: Flee!
Yet another told me to stand still,
From my pocket I took out a dollar bill,
And said:
Where I'm from this is worth more than your life.
Your dad bailed '*** he was a lowlife,
Now You think you know strife?
At 10 I carried a knife,
By 11 I had used it twice,
And from very early I realized.
The where I'm from
In That hell I called home
Fools put a nine to your dome
For a quarter let it be known.
Every single one is worse than Satan's spawn.
I grew up Surrounded by this.
How in the hell am I supposed to find inner peace?
When I hadn't even seen lion king yet
But friends with holes on their neck?
Yes sir, you bet
What else can u expect?
When killing your brother is just another step to earn respect..
And I'm About to turn this fool's face into mince
Ready to lynch, my fist was clinched.... except....
The other guy was gone
The reflection from the water pond
The only thing staring back at me.
Now I didn't know whether to stay or flee.
But The one thing I knew well,
Is that in that place... home isn't better than hell
Growing up around the violence that my country had normalized made me realize that the only person who can stop me from becoming a monster... Is myself
Fredy Sanchez Mar 2020
I'm an immigrant from foreign lands
Who made the trip crawling on my knees and hands
Who thought a change of scenery was all that was needed
Who for a better life turned to the skies and pleaded
And while searching for sanctuary with destain I was greeted
See, I think they believe I was fine where I was
Sure, outside of having to give my last quarter to get a pass
Outside of having to decide between food or the homie that's asking
*** the homie that's asking is the homie that's blasting
If you dare say no
On your way home, after a hard day's work, still have to pay the neighborhood rent tho
*** if you's broke you were the next one to go
As simple as tic-tac-toe
Except it's click-clack-pow
I seen the culprit, twas the kid from next door
Who now sleeps on the edge of death row
Guilty of a dozen of those
Danger travels in troves
In the place where they let go of their humanity
So I left
With the faded blue Jansport on my back
And a brand new fake passport in my back pocket
Leaving the world I called home behind
Facing Mexico hoping to cross it
I was 15 in a group of fifteen with a single shared dream
The Salvadorean dream team
Thinking we could escape this unfair hand
Wide-eyed we ventured in...
And then I saw, violence everywhere we went
The horrified masses didn't have to pretend
The fear inflicted by individuals with no chance to repent
But it's best of I digress and of my travels I shed light
We only moved at night
Daring to commit the horrendous crime of crossing an imaginary line
That changes with time
And for that we were persecuted
We were stopped, chased, and straight up looted
The Police or the Cartels it didn't matter who did it
To the females of the group when **** was commited
And between check points and abductions only 4 remained since the groups introduction
The faded Jansport had been stolen by a 16 year old with a machete
Who had promised to cut me up like confetti if I didn't hand it to him
So I did
Just like my innocence as a kid as well
And so I left
Traveling further north still
Looking at American soil from the hotel window sill
Hoping the nightmare would soon end
Hoping my psyche I can still mend
The four of us shared a hopeful glance
Stopped and shook each others hands and wished each other well
Said if we got lost we'd meet at the well
The one we had stopped at to rest for a spell
The plan couldn't be tested, however
Immigration came and shut down the whole endeavor
The only one who got out was me...
Forced to forever flee
Entrusted to see...what they couldn't see
And to be all they couldn't be

— The End —