The binding I know is real ,
A merging too grand to fake ,
Though I hold a primordial fear,
That the bond one day would break ,
You are a dream I will forget
when at last I awake,
And all the balms the psalms the crooked charms
Wouldn’t stop the burning and the perpetual yearning ,
Those hounds biting at my heels,
How far you are further than far
And the further you lie the more I sigh,
The more I suffer in dreams,
And now I stand naked and lonely ,
Gazing high and moving slowly ,
With a thousand ,if only,
No word can be more justified
To hold my silent testimony.

Lowly, all pleasures sink;
No happiness it ever brought.
All joys that you may think
Repaint the pain you wrought,
Shall cling to you and bring
Horrors, woes, and rot.

Woe is you, woe is me—
She passes here at last.
Her voice and her shadow cast
The void that claws and stings.
Her shroud eternal, vast,
She that lives in darkness.

And beauty falls aghast by her tears;
The winding grass dances in trance beneath her marble feet.
Light couldn’t steal a glimpse of her,
Nor day or night dared to bring her peace.

For no moon shines above her head,
And the sun forgot and turned to rot
In her birthplace in the east.

All in shame in unison cried—
Angels and hellish beasts.

For devils could not stain her heart,
Nor soothe her pain, seraphims.

She that cloaks the darkness,
Her eyes that never sheen,
Made of hope departed
And all the forgotten dreams.

She knows every whining
Soul that dared to dream

Never in this world
I would ever wish to stay
Dreams and not the days

I had a dream
Unbeknownst to me.

As I dreamt the school day ended
The bell shrilled
Beckons to freedom
Ready to head home
Laid my backup next to me
Settle in ready to depart
Until they called

"Karen we need a pic or it didn't happen"
Try to say "No, no I'm camera shy"
"Not to worry it just our white shoes in a circle, no one will ever know"

And so the camera did blink
Trap the moment for all eternity

Just as soon I did regret it
For my bus went on its path
En route as is its routine
And it sure did not wait for one or me

Although I did try
My feet thud along the pavement
Hands outreach
Yelling for it to stop
With no success

All my hopes and dream leaving me all safely inside that zipped cozy backpack of mine

Which just keeps getting further away from me its true destiny. The destination of my arms

And so in my tracks I did stop
Disappointment overwhelming me
What to do
What to do?

Call for help
Pray family comes through

Call anyone that comes to mind
Only one did pick up
Such a surprise that it was my tío Oblin 
But that doesn't change the fact of how huge the blessing was as I pray for help to come

As he arrive a friend in need, needs a ride.  
"Can she come? As she also lost" I say
Tío Oblin replies with a nod and so we go

We wait at quick stop to his house
Me filled with worry asking for relief
Amanda sensed my distress

In a hushed tone
"Just between us"
As she passed me her blunt
Take two puffs

Gotta hide the smoke
"Roll the windows down, tío Oblin can't know doesn't trust the stuff"
She laughed, soft
But roll the windows down she did

Had a plan- beat the bus, get my bag
Tío Oblin said "There might be a chance"

Going too fast
But still not fast enough
Must take a shortcut
Over the river
As the car lifted over water

For sure thought we were done
My life will end among family and a friend
Gravity is gonna sink the car down
We will drown

"Not to worry our velocity keeps us safe we're going to fast to even think of sinking in"

Can't be help I had my doubts
But on we went

All my cares went away once my friend handed me the blunt once again
And this time I didn't say no

Then I woke
In a new dream
Driving back home
Then I see
Familiar coat of grey
My cat
Who stray far from home
In a school yard with none a care
Though I didn't care for how far he's gone
The peace I had when i picked him calm me down back to home we did drive
All safe for we were exactly where we needed to be.

Are you even real?
Or just a product of my dreams?
Losing you is something I fear.
Maybe I should come with you my dear.

Burning down my throat,
these pills they made me swallow.
As I lay in bed to wallow.
I don't want to wake up dear.
Losing you is something I fear.

Please they want me to stay awake.
In my dreams your presence follows me in my wake.
Hold me tight, I don't wanna ever leave.
If you're not here I don't wanna ever live.

Tears sting the corner of my eyes.
As they force water in my mouth.
I count the minutes before I'm finally out.
Now you're no longer here when I close my eyes.

Are you even real?
Or just a product of my dreams?
Losing you is something I fear.
I should have come with you my dear.

- N.V. 🥀

Mamaw said there’s no one like family
She said just live and let live
Mamaw said you can’t be who you are not
She said just give it all you got

Papa said that a train goes over the mountain
He said the stars ain’t made for counting
Papa said you got to know what burns inside of you
He said you got to know what makes your sky blue

I’ve seen life and the stars burning bright
I’ve seen the cold of a dark and lonely night
I’ve held a memory until I was fast asleep
I’ve said a prayer; hope my soul to keep

Mamaw said there was life in the ever after
She said this life should be full of laughter
Mamaw said hard times make you stronger
She said be tough; you’ll live a little longer

Papa said you cannot be forsaken
He said your dreams are for the taking
Papa said you got to give everything your all
He said you got to listen to hear the call

I’ve seen troubles and dreams so hard to reach
I’ve seen the lessons a hard life can teach
I’ve seen the faith, the glory and the power
I will see it again in my moments of the final hour

Home is a roof
like a hat under heaven
as a shelter for dreams
that drift in the night

Home is belonging,
tune in and becoming
is to land on your feet
and stand in the light

Home is the heartbeat
that echoes the silence
home is the soft wind
caressing your face

Home is the love that
you give one another
turning your shed into
the world’s dearest place

We were flying like Hell down a one-track line
Pressing our luck and holding back time
Like a naked freight train running all downhill
We rode with our Hearts that we couldn’t keep still
Uncle Charlie said don’t worry son, I’ve got your back
There ain’t but one train from Hell and its right on track
He gave me a wink and let that whistle blow
He said when we get there we’ll be on the go
We roared and we rumbled on a dead man’s run
I was so scared of it all I was having fun
All through the night we rolled, and we rolled
Hoping to God that those rails would hold
I said Uncle Charlie you’re quite the engineer
You make it look easy, you don’t even steer
He smiled and said you just follow the tracks
And read the burn from those old smokestacks
You shovel the coal like you’re feeding Hell’s fire
You follow your dreams with passion, heart and desire