It is queer
The way that eyes blink out from the walls
yet still whilst I water them so
there screams are the loudest calls

It is queer
the way that the water flows up
Even when the bed is dry and the fish flop into the valley beside thee pond
despite being filled with wine, I can catch them in my late evening cup

it is queer
That this poem shall reach you
For where I reside cannot possibly be described
for the dank dark feald is oh so dry, I don't know how anything grew

it is queer
the concept of time
for in this place one may notice things
things that used to be fine

why, one fact that I truly find to be queer
is the state of thyn mind whilest you sleep
everything is turned on its head
and everything has landed in a heap

Why is it said that in thyns dreams
Thee must always be happy and gay
that there will be nothing said of demons
that it shall consist of unicorns and fae

And truly I say, that a common man's opinion on dreams
opinions that weren't even written in your year
can be seen by many and not called queer
that now it is called a song of the heart
and that is something that thee should forever hold dear

If you ask me now what I want, I will think of a big house full of kids,
whose laughter fills it.
A dog running in the garden.
A partner by my side,
whom I love so much it hurts,
whom I will protect with all my power,
for what it's worth,
and who will love me just as much—
maybe a little less,
because I want to give them
more than everything,
more than I receive.

Maybe it’s selfish,
or maybe it’s even masochistic,
but I want them to feel
that they are the most loved person in the universe,
because they deserve it.

But what I will say is that I want a small apartment,
filled with books—
which I have read and not,
and maybe some I never will.

A corner with my guitars,
that I still can't properly play,
but they sit there,
waiting for the day.

A dog who sleeps
on the other side of my bed,
whom I love more than anything,
with whom I go for long walks
until both our legs hurt.
And then we return home
to our crammed and cramped apartment—
but still so empty.

Where I will cook
my dinner for one,
with a couple of extra pieces,
which I will give to my dog,
even if I’m not supposed to.

Where I will sit in the kitchen
late at night,
sipping coffee
because I can’t sleep,
but can’t do anything either,
so I think it’ll help.

I will look through the window,
breathing in the cold air,
and I will dream
of a big house, kids, the love of my life.

But I will keep coming back
to the same conclusion:
that I don’t deserve a big house,
because I can’t even keep clean
my small apartment.

That I shouldn't have children,
because I can’t give them what they deserve.
Because I will ***** them up, like everything else.

And I don’t deserve a loving partner,
because I don’t deserve love at all.

So I will sit there,
waiting for the nights and days to pass by.
And then I will die—
alone.

I could just hang in Dreamworld forever,
Abandon my duties:
Nothing has to matter in this heaven,
Lest we poison it and bring about hell.

My fragile mind rides dreamboats through dreamlakes,
And I pray it doesn’t:
Break,
Dreams are my safe haven which keeps me well.

See, unlike the real world, we can rest here,
Lie our hearts flat in line:
Pulsing,
Like a drowning drone that drains life on high.

And we’re walking on air year after year,
And no-one seems to mind:
Together,
We stand on skies; a silent choir of sighs.

‘Xcept I feel like I’m rising against time,
As in my mood’s rising:
So quickly that,
It feels as if I’m not truly growing.

All I could ever want, now within reach,
A job I love, to keep:
New love, a fam’ly,
All my million dollar desires I reap.

But as the clock counts and calls out seven,
I’m cast away from heaven:
And away from me does all my leaven
Vanish. Oh God, what a brute-full second.

God, just let me go back for a second.

Happy birthday- its what they'll say
With voices which typed words delay
Where on your behalf today, they'll wish
Simply for your happiness

A wish to me, is like the Horizon
An imaginary line of undefined potential,
Forever fading when approached.
With its endless opportunity preceding
the powerless thrill of pursuit-
Forever fading,
we approach.

When Happiness is fleeting
as all emotions are,
The golden light of  this April's dawn-
Not silhouetted, scars.

my girlfriend would wear baggy jeans – being my solitude, as a
faithful lover. it’s just the darkness she has in her genes. sometimes
I cut her fingernails, to stop her from biting them – she starts to bite
me instead. my sad stories are all reflected in her tears; she tried to
cut my hair, and cut right deep into my thoughts – I’m always
thinking out loud.

she sits on my lap, just to have a window seat; her hair is like a
forest, that the comb loses it’s teeth. still my fingers run through
the woods; dark as a night, where my eyes become her moon.

and she’s the wettest dream – a real sensual thing; being like a
water Queen. she knows I can't water down my words, or kiss her
less without our spit. “kiss me before we go” – even if we’re just
going to the corner store.

but that’s just the thing; I’m in the market for finding hope in
my dreams – for this person only exists in my dreams. sigh!

Up, up and away,
as I soar into the sky,
light as a feather,
with the birds on high,
Oh, watch me fly,
as I spread my wings,
Explore the world, and
the most wonderful things,
The beauty that's within, and
all that it brings,
Just look down, and see
what the world has in store,
as I am exploring,
Who could ask for more,
flying up above this
whole entire nation,
as I am Thankful for
God's Beautiful Creations,
as I look down upon the
lands and the seas,
The monuments,
of the world,
So beautiful to see,
A marvelous sight,
So adorning to me,
as I am airborne,
Flying in my Dreams!!!!


B.R.
Date: 4/15/2025