Before the closure
And after doubts, after collecting shattered thoughts
Before exposure
And knowing if that's what you sought

Last chance to dwell deep in illusions
To dream of perfect world ahead
Not to decide, nor reach conclusions
And get the ego fully fed

Keep, save the tension
For few more moments, bittersweet
Longing affection
Unknown desires raising up the heat

Sky is the limit
Tomorrow offers hope, tomorrow may destroy
So for one day, one hour, minute
Intoxicate, seek, hide, fear and enjoy

Love
And
Longing.

Waiting
Debating
Rights and wronging.

I'm surrounded by the feeling of doom,
This is only the beginning of the pain!
My life a mere part of this game,
Visible at every turn, feel I'm being followed,
Feel death is watching me, every single day,
It's violent, my stomach, dry mouth-I swallow,
Every thing will wind up going down the drain.

It's only a matter of time...

Years ago I used to think it was a value...
Not to swear in front of "grandma,"
Be clean cut and tidy all the time,
Follow all the rules, straight A's at school,

Buuuuut...when I got older...

Ooooops! Said a swear word, a sprinkle of donut
Over my fat belly, the world on the blink
Is dragging me under one cell at a time,
Toward my eventual demise, so I can drink
Coffee and just wait for everything to stop,
It's like we're all being stalked by death,
I'm really feeling dizzy,
This cold scentless style-free flat linen bed,
Then I breath until I know I no longer can.
The lamp dims, the hospital spinning.

Soft spoken
This hidden nature of my own heart
Keeps me wrapped up in daydreams

Hesitant
A river of emotion flowing before me
Threatening to flood
And you want me….
To..
Hop skip and jump across
The tentative stones of our friendship
And say
“Hello?”

I sit back down from trepidation

Its not that what you ask is excessive.
But…
What if I’m wrong?

What if that’s not what you are asking…
But instead
You are the river, pushing me away.

I’m afraid to sleep because you are what haunts me.
I have this bad habit of eating my own words.
Am I breaking down; am I even breathing?
Is my heart still beating?
Oh, if you’re alive then you’re a lucky one.
If you continue breathing without heaving
You might just make it out alive.
But you caused this, didn’t you?
You wrecked me and took my home.
But I’m still breathing in spite of you.
I’m not a lucky one, for I’ve lost it all.
A forgettable face, pale with life; graceless.
Most of us are bitter, but at least we’re still here...
At least we can feel anything at all.


I’ve spent so long picking my pieces up off the ground
That I can no longer stand.
My back is worn and splintered; my hands,
They’re cut to the bone.
The ground I stand on is still covered and I’m
Still missing pieces.
All of my parts falling, one after the other, with
Barely a moment to spare
Between picking one up and losing another.
Just picking my missing pieces up off the ground.
lmt

lets play hide and seek*, said my indentety, *I will hide, you seek