Oh, I could drown in the air
Suffocate in the seas
I could float in the waterfall
Or fall in the breeze

Oh, I could freeze from the blazing sun
Burn from the coldness of a heart
I could stand on the whole universe
Or on each grain of sand's part

Oh, I could materialize anywhere
Or disappear for good
I've tried to do everything, normal or strange
But I could still never be understood.

In the morning, make me a cup of coffee and cascade the emptiness with all of my regrets, salt the wounds then add a dash of mistakes.

let it spill over, burning a road map down my arm and guiding us toward every house that wasn't home. let me savor each drop bit by bit until my energy turns into persistent delirium. let the traffic lights be every person who caught you on fire, and let the stop signs be moments you stopped breathing before your lungs decayed into road rash

we're moving again

traveling on a road of desperation wondering if anything could be different had we chosen an alternate route.
my brain says, "take a back road. become lost"
my heart retorts with, "weakling, you're already lost."
unable to make a difference, this map will forever lead to the same destination.
this pain will continue, amidst the eternal return  
traffic lights accumulate, stop signs become unbearably longer while my breathing becomes the only heat I can feel against this coldness, an open wound continually dragging across asphalt
over and over again
my bones begin to disintegrate underneath defeated limbs, within the times I've told myself I'm okay, sorrow formed a foundation around my demons. these pretty lies had become my best friends, they gave wings to my broken spirit while once so bright, it had been extinguished by the sea that flowed between my grief.
all at once, the lies I've told possess mouths with razor-sharp teeth, and their deep-rooted fury has proliferated for what feels like a century that I've held them captive in my hands.

27

it has been 27 years since honesty was gifted the sun, while it burned her hands, she smiled and said,
"It is agonizing but it is so beautiful"
how much longer will I suffocate under the burden I've become?

It was never about
Taking the easy route
I was just desperate
And made a last ditch effort
To get the pain out

©2024

Here I stand, in one hand I've more knowledge than ever
A better comprehension in the other
But no third hand, arm, and shoulder
All needed if you hope to discover and then be a supporter
Of that impossibly elusive answer
Now fewer than ever and always less than the day before
Watching compassion wash away with the tears from the eyes of a lover
As I try in desperation to prove a mear possibly, maybe we're better together
Before the search begins and what's wanted is what's found in another
And I'm left to wonder the vastness of forever without my chosen partner
Alone, not wanting to, once again, risk going public with my server
That fear leads me here, to a future where I put all hope in never
And yes, you don't have to tell me, I'm well aware...
...I know that makes this a hopeless endeavor

©2024

I see you had a bad day
Thinkin' things you shouldn't say
No other choice but to stay and pay to play
Can't even stray away from your own cliche
Doomed by strands of DNA
Failed every single attempt in every possible way
In desperation you kneel to pray
No answer today...
...same as yesterday

©2023

Help me- I am so sorry,
for all the nights you spent in the dark.
they were nights where
I needed the pain and fear to stop-
And you would do
Everything you knew
Just trying to make me alright.
" No one Deserves my world quite like you do"
I heard that in a song once.
Now knowing you,
silently, I
Understand.