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Anna Nov 2018
I desperately ransack
Crumpled sheets and pillows
Hunting for you
At any time of day
As the sun glares at me
Shining rays of duty onto
My faded features
And bloodshot eyes

When I can't find you
Sparks bury under my skin
But when I turn
It's just the sunlight
Turning me into liquid wax
My eyes dissolve but
I don't care
They deserve to be punished

You're always out at night
I ring the bell so much
That I get tinnitus
But sacrificing my hearing
Is all for nothing
Because you leave my offering
Bleeding in its temple
The scornful God you are

You want me to use pills
To hunt you down but
I won't satisfy your desires
I know you like a game
But your opponent
Is apathetic towards life
Your worst fear
How can you twist numbness?

So we intertwine
A symbiotic relationship
You need me to have you
To exist as an action
This brinkmanship
Might push me to the edge
But I can live on the brink
Can you?
Whenever I get anxious it's always super hard to sleep, and the desperation for sleep sometimes comes close to insanity. It also feels like a game that you can't win and your strategies become crazier and crazier.
shiv Oct 2018
and ill give you
one last chance
to show you can love me
the way you would a fire

and ill let you be the arson
to whatever we are gasoline boy

if you know there is more to love
than burning me out of my body

than breaking apart my ribs
for a look beneath at my heart

you are as slick with desperation as you are love,
but i have only ever been hurt
and i do not intend to become another statistic
in another raging wildfire.
Ason Oct 2018
If I could grow another arm
with hands and fingers
to match the others
I would have trouble deciding
if it would hold you up
or reach for your help

The only reason I don’t seem so desperate
is that I’m limited
to these two arms
to beg for your thought
Tribhu Oct 2018
Oh! You're a dilemma,
Left untouched,
Pages covered in dust.
If I wish to tear off these sorrows
I only hold them closer, thinking maybe tomorrow.
And if I wish to burn thy pages
I burn myself instead,
Oh, it's been ages!
Should I cover you with flowers?
Or should I bury you deep beneath the ground?
If you'll ever be lost,
Can you never be found?
If I let you go by mistake
Won't you ever come back?
If I wreck my withered soul,
Will this red rose turn into the rose of black?
Em MacKenzie Oct 2018
People walk on by and only glance in my direction
unaware that I am suffering from a deep rooted infection.
For don't you see that I'm painfully dying
and in the future you'll know that I could've been saved,
all it took was a simple moment of trying
and to hear the things that I always craved.

They tell you a drowning man will drag you down
but I've always been a strong swimmer,
we can easily take on another pound
just focus on the waves surfing glimmer.
Keep going, keep rowing,
don't inhale that salty sea.
The wind's blowing, exhaustion is showing,
I'll hold you up even when you can't hold me.

People walk on by and only glance in my direction
they aren't the slightest bit shocked at my self inflicted dissection.
For I desperately need to remove my organs of rot,
these days feeling just takes too much of a toll on me,
and they're so badly damaged that no customer has bought,
even when I offered them up for free.

They tell you a drowning man will drag you under
but I've always been gifted with a swift stroke,
how I made it out this far truly is a wonder,
or maybe just another sad tasteless joke.
Keep going, keep towing,
don't you give up so easily.
The wind's blowing, pace is slowing,
I'll hold you up even when you can't hold me.

So call me Ismael 'cause I'm lost at sea,
was caught up in a current very swiftly,
and my white whale has lost all interest in me,
I guess there's some other place it would rather be,
than stuck in my sad excuse for company.
Do I glimpse land's salvation or am I just succumbing to insanity?
Inked Quill Oct 2018
It’s encroaching
Stifling my breath
Like cold gates
At the mouth
That vicarious grip
Of distorted desires
Trapped inside
Playing hide & seek
Like a childhood friend
Or am I just having
A fever dream…
Rahama Oct 2018
This ache in my heart
I wish it was nociceptive
I wish it was fleeting
I wish it would pass
But it won't
It'll continue to torment me
Until I've lost myself
In the negativity
It offers.
Joanne Russell Oct 2018
You don't have to accept me,
Nor understand this ****,
But please hear this last plea
And stop punishing me for it.

I can be who I want to be,
I don't need a permission or permit
But I still want to make you see,
And of your mistakes, admit.

For still now, you won't let me be,
And your single-mindedness won't quit,
And my pain, you won't see,
Because you still try to rid me of it.
This is something I wish I could get across to my parents, but they refuse to accept or even listen to me at all.
A Marie Sep 2018
please come to me i have
nothing else
i need something
anything.

fill my mind with a
valley
a bounteous valley
fertile, full of prosperity,
clarity, calamity, tranquillity ...

but my mind is a
desert
a dry wasteland
nothing to express or nurture
not even
desire.

please come back to me
desire
i want to want to want to want to want to want to want
to desire.

                                     otherwise, i have Nothing.
Mia Sadoch Sep 2018
(Your) lips remain in my mind, and there’s more that I long to see.
Or am I just entangled in the entrancing web of desire?

Your smile is still hypnotic.
I saw all of you, yet I still want more.
Who cares if we just met? We’d be great together! I know so…?

Please, take away my seal.
You, her, someone…
Anyone…?
I can't seem to get these thoughts out of my head... is there something wrong with me?
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