these words
as
powerful as an enemy
as loving as
no woman
no woman
no woman
no woman
no explanation
no arms
no legs
no lips
no hands
no one
now just
one beer and a hit
is all i need
to forget about my
walls
to forget about my
blundering , blubbering past self
weak and desperate for
affection/attention
embarrassment shadow

She is the light with undefeated brightness
Where it’s warm and contains happiness
But I rather stay in the darkness
For it’s misguide to the path that wasn’t chosen

Tempting and I never want to avoid
The lights calling my name wants me to stay below it
But I rather be here shove my ears and close it
In the cold darkness let my blood be frozen

So I buried myself in the shadow
Where it’s just cold and hollow
Because if I follow
It will only ends with disappointment

When all is failing- as it often does.
Laughter might not be enough,
nor beer and alcohol
nor praying to all the Gods.
-No matter,
just keep in mind,
sometimes it's your turn
to lose
and that's fine.
It is a long game after all

What did I see
Was it you looking at me
Or am I lying to myself
And storing up pretty lies on a shelf
Were you really smiling at me
Or are you lying to me
Am I thinking to much
Desperate for a touch
Is there something wrong with my mind
Or could you really take your time
To stay and lie with me
Stars and velvet and dark trees
Is this real
How I feel
Memories of how we used to be
Every single one is killing me
Ink on skin on skin
It was so easy to let you in
I miss you
The way you used to be
I miss the old words
Us and we

I would ******* if you asked me,
**** the marrow from your bones,
I would, only if you asked me,
Bare my chest, shred your neck
Made it last if you asked me,
Take your heart from your chest
And put it back if you asked,
Bruised you blue, made you new,
I would love you if you asked me;

Only if you asked me.

Oh, Gabriel where are you now?
I need to talk to you, but how?
You are so far...
I hope you are not at war?
I am just so desperate...
Is it already too late?
It is past noon...
And I wonder if I shall see you soon?
Will time bring it along?
Or am I totally wrong?
Time drags past so slow...
But I want to see you now...
Why can't I teleport?
Or will that hurt?
I don't care a thing...
I would do anything...
Just an hour with you to talk...
Remember when we went for a walk?
I cherish those precious memories...
Sometimes it is like a bunch of lies...
As if it never happened...
But then I get reminded...
The letter you wrote...
Or shall I call it a note?
I can't thank you enough...
Every time I go through my media I laugh...
I discovered something and I want to tell you...
You made me smile and you still do...
I found out that my heart is still on fire...
Even though I have tripped over a wire...
You helped me up to my feet...
And I type this as I feel my heart's heat...
I am sure of it now...
Don't ask how...