here’s what they never tell you:
to be loved,
you are supposed to be perfect.
smile wide.
never stutter.
keep your darkness tucked
behind your teeth.

but what if you show your cracks?
what if your scars scream louder
than your laugh?
what if your mind is a rainstorm
that never stops pouring?

will they run,
call you crazy,
lock the door,
swallow the key?

or —

and here’s the terrifying part —
will someone stay,
hands steady,
and say:
"i see you,
storm and all,
and i choose
to love you still?"

and if they do
how do you stay?
knowing that you are
worse than they can ever know.

From the abyss where no light dares creep,
There lives a part of me, buried deep.
It rises in pain, when my heart’s torn apart,
A shadowy comfort for my fractured heart.

It whispers low, "I’ll keep you safe,
Far from a world that’s cruel and chafes."
It calls me closer, to fully reside,
In the solace found on the darker side.

I do not fear the shadows’ reign,
For their embrace dulls my lingering pain.
The demons, the ghosts, they stand as my guard,
Protecting the pieces of a soul left scarred.

When tears carved rivers in the dead of night,
They wove me tales of a shattered fight—

While others may claim their angels divine,
It’s my inner demons who’ve made me mine.
Once they haunted, now they console,
Bringing solace to my restless soul.

The darkness unveiled a brighter path,
A peace that came from its stormy wrath.
Grateful, I bow to the abyss within,
For in its depths, I’ve found where I begin.

                                    -Eternal Muse

"you’re my second favorite,"
they said,
and i smiled,
like it didn’t carve
a jagged truth
into my chest.

i am the runner-up,
the consolation prize,
the one you call
when no one else picks up.

there is no space
in this world
for someone like me—
almost enough,
but never.
quite.

they say it doesn’t matter,
but why does it feel
like i’m disappearing?

Sun that smiles in summer,
waking you up.
Birds chirping their favorite song,
That you'll never forget.
The sound that you can never forget of the dogs barking widely,
on a dark summer night.
Ocean waves and the sound they make as they hit the shore.
Your feet in the bare hot sand,
Walking fast as you can.

Let them be at least a Reason To Stay

I remember feeling deep sadness.
One that clings to every limb, holding you down while you fight, fighting for one more chance, it was everything and nothing all at once, color didn’t exist, choirs didn’t sing, children didn’t laugh, it was everything and nothing all at once, dictators grabbed their power, an honest man told a lie, I tried to stop it but it was never the right time
I remember I was in my bed.
My phone was the window, the lights stayed off, there was no reason to live a life I couldn’t control, it was everything and nothing all at once, youth looked desperate, a disease without the cure, I asked a simple question “what am I supposed to be fighting for?”
It was everything and nothing
all
at
once

Every day is a performance, a never ending act
I always must perform or people will attack
I've become nothing more than a fake
I've no idea how much more I can take
They've forced me to hide who I love, who I am-deep down inside
When all I've ever wanted is to embrace myself with pride
They force me to wear a mask
Every day, a constant task

“Be yourself, be independent” they say
Yet when I do, they always turn away
It shouldn't be like this, it isn't ******* fair
But who am I kidding, they don't ever care
The only time they care is when there's another suicide on TV
I worry I'll share that fate, just another statistic to be
I don't know where to go or what to do
So I'm crying for help, a message to you

I don't want to live anymore,
It hurts so bad I can't take it anymore.
I fight to survive,
for a life I don't want.
And I whelve on memories,
that I never had.
Somewhere in some other timeline,
I can feel happy without snorting a line.