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Zelda Jun 2024
:)
I don't know how to write this
So I'll be honest
I'm not diagnosed
But sometimes I get sad
Really sad
My body is heavy
I drag myself out of bed
I randomly cry
But the water is scolding
It's a comfort
So it's ok
And I stick to my routine
As best I can
While I try to stop
everything everyone's ever said about me
Ruminating in my head
They don't like the shows I watch
They don't understand
I watch them over and over and over and over
To alleviate the loneliness
Because I'm lonely
I've always been lonely
I should be used to it
But I'm starving
For affection, for care
They say
I'm seeking attention
I'm fishing for compliments
But I just want someone to talk to, I'm trying
I know I'm selfish
I know others have it much worse
I shouldn't feel this way
I know
But I do
I'm scared I'll lose the few people I have left
I can take the harsh words
It's just a truth
I'm stupid, I have to work harder
I'm ugly, do I look ok in a mask?
I'm borning
I'm pathetic
I'm not enough
I'm tired
And sad
Been thinking of joining a club
I'm almost 27
It'll be a simple celebration
I doubt anyone will remember
They never do
It'll be fun
And maybe I'll be content :)
Zelda Jun 2024
Ever sit for hours, staring at the waves?
Until the sun sets, and the moon shines on the water.
But the moon doesn't shine. It just blocks out the sun.
No phone vibrations, no messages,
And you're too tired to reach out.
Realization hits like a wall of water,
Tumbling in a powerful grip
A cold shock seizes your muscles.
No one notices a ghost on the docks,
a problem that's drifted beyond the horizon
Maybe one day, the waves will calm,
But for now, you're pulled under,
Disoriented,
With saltwater stinging your eyes.
Fillings your lungs.
Into the depths of solitude.
I don't know if you'll survive,
But the waves are so beautiful.
ZR Simon Jun 2024
As I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord my soul to take
Ease my pain, for I am broken
Make still my thoughts
Toss out my dreams like the ash
Of a fire that died ages ago.

My will is gone
My strength is waning
I pray for sleep
But never waking.
Amanda Kay Burke Jun 2024
I am human after all
Tempted each day
I am foolishly blinded by love
Sliver by sliver resolve fades away
I am immobilized by agony
Weight grows hard to bear
Tip over so I can be free
Off edge to fall somewhere
Toppling head over heels in a haze
Comparable to Jack and Jill
Chain snapping as moment occurs
Crashing at bottom of this hill
I am the statue everyone sees
Poised awaiting instruction
Off-track I tumbled through the trees
Cracked by calamitous destruction
Start healing wounds all over skin
Created from own poor decisions
Gravity not willing to let me advance
Rolling accumulated incisions
Back and forth I wander
Earth tilts beneath my feet
Dizzily confused I can't figure out how
To steady myself preventing defeat
It's impossible getting where goals are
Wobbly with each step I take
Top of the mountain seems so far
Luckily legs do not ache
It seems this journey will not ever end
The wind
Ocean
Temperature
Ground
Rattling bones that comprise my skeleton
Rampant running around
It's not fair punishment by any means
Served my time in this location
Already processed surrounding scenes
Fists balled due to brain's frustration
Downward I cast exhausted eyes
Driven by instinct to carry on
I am accepting of demise
All hope is gone
If hope is what makes us human I must be something else
Eyithen May 2024
I feel like I'm losing everyone
Or maybe I never really had anyone
Atta Apr 2024
i cherised ourselves in silence breeze
at every corner of crowd we've cultured together
and on every personalities i've dictaded
i've grown my trees on you

yet you put an end to my tree

i should had known you're my lumberjack behind me
brought axe sharpened behind my corner
you'd warmed me by the fireplace
branches by branches

from the trees i've nurtured on you

at least i still get warmth for a second
a milli if i could tell
at least i still get warmth

and i asked
and i asked you
for once
you said
you put effort on your tree
you cared too much for me
you've watered it down
with sweet sweat with sour tears
for me

but i still smell me on your fire
mahogany vanilla, fresh autumn
orangish purple, i could visioned

and i asked
and i asked you
million times
all you said was
it was your tree
your ******* tree
your tree that you couldn't named of
what was the wood what was the fruit
what was it? you didn't know
lame

i extinguished flame you engulfed
that only affected on us
your option was go and go away
some i couldnt choose
i let myself stranded in your tiny little miniature
of towns you've built over my anxiety
by words youve trashed down
on my feelings
if i stay, i'd soaked my soil with my ***** tempest
if i go, i 'd walked on invisible string gagged and blindfolded

i choose to stay
growing trees on anger
i bow down
if i stand up
i could see all direction
and i could see you watering down
your tree on your person
such a gardener you are
Cold-Bones Apr 2024
My heart is hollow and empty
I have no vacancy of our binding entity’s  that once lived there equally combined
Your ghost is a impending haunting of memory that dwells inside
I long for an exorcism to make you flee from my “fist wrapped in blood”
Your every step  
laid down a trifling path leading me to the gallows within shadows
How could you do this?
eleanor prince Mar 2024
what do you do, my friend
when life descends to
a sense of being in
a veritable vortex

a whirlybird
careering on,
tumbling here
and there while

we're needing ever
to stay perfectly intact
lest forward movement
is lost to us all for good...

and we feel out of sorts;
others are like forms in
a darkened fog passing
by us in a swirling mist

though there are pauses,
times when we are stuck,
seconds that we wonder
will it ever be okay again--

just the right wind can
infuse our sails afresh
and generate breath
past the hurdles

to a life for us
beyond this pain
and the pesky trials
to some quiet smiles...

so hang in there
my sad and
lonesome
friend

for the
maelstrom
of our lives
can ease so we

can joy recall
be happy
for now
after all
some days we may feel beset by sadness and pain - if you can relate, may it ease for you soon
Amanda Kay Burke Mar 2024
More than not spend all day in bed
Remarkable how depression works around the clock
By the time I manage to raise my head
Sheep gather to be counted in a flock
I'm only not depressed when I am asleep
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