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QueenOfTheAshes Sep 2024
An act of defiance
Is merely an act of compliance
To words you never told me
To worlds in which I couldn't be.

I dreamed mine in my mind
They were the Taylor Swift kind
With hidden key chains
In my deepest of pains

You could never reach
A contract we couldn't breach
I told God this couldn't be me
And then I watched myself, be.

What hurts the most
Is I always knew I should expect the worst
But I hoped for the best
I put my fears to rest.

Until you just pulled them out
When it all went south
I danced with my demons
I prayed for new seasons.
Frances Marie Sep 2024
Thwack my heart,
Vacant feelings.
You used up every last
part of me.

I'm so ******* jaded.

I dote on you,
while you take ample amounts
of me.
I don't know what's left to share.

I'm restless.

I sleep in an untenanted bed
with creases that leave little of you.
Hollow eyes,
staring at me when I rouse.
Hoping I'll be there for your last
days awake.

I feel lonely in a full house.

Meeting at the lowest,
four walls to keep us from killing ourselves.
Was starting again,
first day of school like your parents did?
Was it a bond,
Or did our demons tangle?

This is a mess I have to clean, again.
Final draft of poem I wrote on my most emotionally vulnerable day. I started journaling after this day to keep myself centered. I don't want to bottle my feelings away anymore. I want to deal with them in healthier ways. Why I am back on HP.
Ashley Er Sep 2024
Who needs sleep?
Not me.
When silence
Cuts deeper than
Any other knife.
My thoughts
Are pounding
Twisting and turning.
The weight I carry
Unseen ,untold
Grows heavy
In the midnight cold.
The restless fire in me
Too big to hold,
Keeps me awake
Till I shake.
Who needs sleep?
Not me.
Not now .
Tracing the lines
On my thighs
That no one shall
See.
To silence the pain
That I keep deep within .
Even in the dark
I know it's clear,
The path I walk is
Paved with fear.
Who needs sleep ?
"ME!"I scream ,
Gasping as I
Let my mind run
Free...
Alexis K Oct 2023
I am so exhausted by this feeling.
So tired of being tired.
So tired of feeling helpless.
There's nothing I can do to make it go away.
Nothing to make it pass faster, or to change my mind.

So I sit in this feeling.
With no other option than to let it suffocate me.
I hope I'll come out alive.
Cayley Raven Aug 2024
Unconsciously or not
it was still a ****** thing to do.
I realize now
how much I hurt you.
I know you´ve probably already forgiven me
and I am in the process of forgiving myself.
This used to be a way of coping with my demons.
The only way I knew.
But I know better now.
For what it´s worth
I am sorry.
Kyla Aug 2024
Welcome to the graveyard shift of my brain
Welcome to apocalypse of my veins
They try to break me, try to change me
I don't want to stay the same
I couldn't have it any other way if I tried
These are all my fears, these are all my demons
Tried to run away, but you give me a reason
Even when I'm scared,
you never say your leaving
You make me feel loved,
give me something to believe in
Welcome to the all or nothing
kind of way of loving
If you want to leave me just say
I've learned to watch you walk away
I want to love you, want to touch you
but my mind gets in the way
I hope you'll stay with me anyways
Welcome to the sound of pouring rain
Welcome to the calm of the storm before the pain
Welcome to the roller coaster of my life Welcome to the ocean of feelings in my eyes
I'm trying to trust you, trying to know you
but my mind tells me I'm not worth it
When you smile it gives me a purpose
I love you, your so perfect
Odd Odyssey Poet Jul 2024
[Demon]
/ ˈdiː.mən /
(in plural) A person’s fears or anxieties. [from 19th c.]

But I am something special to behold; the one fed the
seconds of love- second-guessing myself. Teeming in the crevices
of an inspiring war; -in solidarity; wasting myself fighting alone
Oh, what a waste of time…
How you see me, is all in a wick of imagination; a first
surplus; too weak in love, to see ashes to those feelings so obscure
For if I came with the picture of my everyday man; would it
still fit your frame…

Well, here he is: a man who questions if the same God he prays to,
picks out his favourites- giving favour to the devil, to play such chords
in my head. Yet the alter did write about Hope’s song; his ego
wouldn’t listen to it…
From the pretty perfect picture, you see outside, it will never be what
you can quickly find inside. As long hugs leave him so petrified- just
in case you catch onto what’s loitering inside. As your love from this
story’s beginning, did catch me by surprise -a surprise of how you still
love me, with the demons I still battle inside…

Now here, builds up the ****** to entertain both parties;
and I promise you, it’s ending won’t be felt partially…
Ylzm Jul 2024
The heart and mind speak with one tongue
But for those of the rebellion as in days past

For these wars raged within hypocrisy without
Oblivious to themselves their nakedness

Entrenched and encouraged and flattered
Mutually and smilingly profiting and killing

Never knowing heart and mind always fighting
Their unknown demons within always losing

Following their hearts blaming their minds
Self mutilating, self abused, yet self loving

Proud of their filth encrusted grotesqueness
Mistaking for beauty that unseen in the dark
Jeremy Betts Jun 2024
I sit in this empty room
But I'm not the only one in here
I went and let my demons out
They produce then they feed on my fear
Been here many times before,
More times than I can ignore
I won't shed another wasteful tear
What good's all this crying for?
Both my tear ducts are sore
And it's the same year after year after year

©2024
Rinkitty Jun 2024
It's been a long journey to find myself..
Dark thoughts and self harm along the way..
Demons scratch at the fragile walls of sanity..
When will I find peace?
When will I be happy?
This dysphoric feeling of confusion..
Who am I?
What am I?
Where do I belong?
Am I her or am I him?
It was so confusing at first..
But now I see.. I am him.. will this make me happy? Darkness threatens me. The demons continue to claw, making me more fragile..
It's hard to pretend to feel..
To feel anything other than pain and emptiness..
But the journey must continue..
For I want to be happy.
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