There’s a voice inside my head
Screaming that it’s all worth it in the end
But my mind plays tricks
So I don’t know what to believe

Should I listen to the voice
Or should I listen to reason
On one hand my life will change for the better
The other my life will stay the same

But with these delusions that run wild
Causing mayhem upon my brain
Sending toxic visions
And destructive thoughts

I sit and I ponder
Is it really worth it
Or will I just fail
Like so many times before

I try so hard to connect
To you and ignore the terror
The terror inside my heart
That pushes me to think it will never work

I think silently to myself
Questioning why this is
Why does my head do these things
When all I know is I like you

I don’t like the paranoia
I don’t like the fear
It terrifies me beyond compare
To a state beyond repair

My eyes they only see you
My heart screams out for you
But in the end of the day
My head screams it can’t be true

I try to run and hide
From all these thought inside
Screaming delusions and spreading fear
Cause all I want is to be with you

I run and run
Tripping over myself
Shielding my eyes from the visions
Of you wanting someone else

I fall and cry
Screaming for someone to help
Wishing my head would stop filling with lies
Stop filling with terrifying fantasies

And yet it doesn’t stop
Screaming and cowering
Clutching my head between my knees
I burst into tears begging why

Why can’t I trust
Why can’t I have faith
Why must my head do this
Why must I feel so alone

All I want is your reassurance
Yet I can’t even get that
Because I’m too afraid to tell you
About what’s really going on inside

It hurts to have your heart broken
But when it’s your trust that’s broken
It can be years before you are strong enough
To trust someone else

My trust was broken a few months back
And now that I found another
In which I like so very much
The trust is effecting me

Delusions and hallucinations set in
Causing my mind to panic
I try so hard to push them away
But they keep getting worse

I’m reassured that I’m not a burden
That I’m attractive and liked
But at the same time
My thoughts run ramped

Maybe he’s lying
Maybe he’s talking to other people
Maybe he’s with someone already
Maybe he’s just using you

Maybe he’s seeing multiple people
Maybe he’s this
Maybe he’s that
Thoughts of mistrust running wild

I can’t sleep
I eat everything in sight
Or I don’t eat at all
I cry all the time

I see visions and delusions
Of me cooking him dinner
And someone else coming in
And kissing his cheek calling him babe

And I wonder
Is my head really this bad
Am I going to let the past ruin my future
But yet the hallucinations continue

Visions of him holding someone else
Visions of me saying just take me home
Visions of me breaking down and crying
Visions of me that I wish to unsee

Cause you see
I like this guy
So very much
But this mistrust

Has got to stop
It will eat me alive
And it’s not fair to him
To compare him with the past

𝐼 𝓌𝑜𝓃𝒹𝑒𝓇 𝓌𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝒾𝓉 𝓌𝑜𝓊𝓁𝒹 𝓉𝒶𝓀𝑒,
𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓈𝑒 𝓈𝒽𝒶𝒸𝓀𝓁𝑒𝓈 𝓉𝑜 𝒷𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓀.
𝐹𝑜𝓇 𝓂𝓎 𝒹𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓂𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓉𝑜 𝓈𝓉𝑜𝓅,
𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓂𝓎 𝓁𝒾𝓋𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓉𝑜 𝓈𝓉𝒶𝓇𝓉.

𝐼'𝓂 𝓌𝒾𝓈𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓂𝓎 𝓁𝒾𝒻𝑒 𝒶𝓌𝒶𝓎,
𝒽𝑜𝓌 𝐼 𝓌𝒶𝓃𝓉 𝓉𝑜 𝒹𝑜 𝓈𝑜𝓂𝑒𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓉𝑜𝒹𝒶𝓎,
𝐵𝓊𝓉 𝑜𝒽 𝒽𝑜𝓌 𝑒𝒶𝓈𝓎 𝓌𝒶𝒾𝓉𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒾𝓈,
𝓌𝒶𝒾𝓉𝒾𝓃𝑔, 𝒹𝑒𝓈𝓅𝑒𝓇𝒶𝓉𝑒𝓁𝓎 𝒷𝑒𝓁𝒾𝑒𝓋𝒾𝓃𝑔.

𝒯𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓈𝑜𝓂𝑒𝑜𝓃𝑒 𝓌𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝒸𝑜𝓂𝑒 𝓈𝒶𝓋𝑒 𝓂𝑒,
𝒽𝑒𝓁𝓅 𝓂𝑒 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓇𝑒𝒹𝑒𝑒𝓂 𝓂𝑒,
𝒻𝓇𝑜𝓂 𝓂𝓎𝓈𝑒𝓁𝒻,
𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝒾𝓃𝑒𝓈𝒸𝒶𝓅𝒶𝒷𝓁𝑒 𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓁𝒾𝓉𝓎,
𝐼 𝒸𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓉𝑒𝒹 𝓉𝑜 𝓈𝓊𝒾𝓉 𝓂𝑒.