Guilty

I point
And three fingers
Pointing back at me

Memories
Not forgotten
Even though I plea

The knives,
They are calling
Yet I still don't bleed

No point in my destruction
Since I cannot feed them

Sharp blades
Evade
My self destruction

Afraid
To pay
For loss of function

Every
New day
Is a new problem

Cut me off
(Save me!)

I'm coming out
I'm caving in
Tell me do you like me now
Let me begin

By burning all the cradles
Uninstall the training wheels
Enstrangement's just a label
And I don't give feels

(I cut me off
I shut you out
I'm caving in
Do you like me now?

Not good enough
I've never been
Disconnection
I'm the alien)

Existence feels futile
But what are my feelings?
Wearing a mask of a smile
Death is so appealing

Reality's shattered
Shattered in delusions
My life's a confusion
Of mismatched solutions

Sometimes I think I am alone
And I don't know where to go
Sometimes I wonder why I feel
So utterly inhuman

The things that I remember doing
That I could not possibly have done
Though I have hurt a lot of people
I also remember killing one

My name was Ire, I was transformed
He screamed, but still I struck him down
My hands, they trembled, then I was gone
I was a murderous hellhound

The next morning I awoke
And fear was struck in all of them
I wonder what I actually did
I wonder where my victim went

Killing the truth for religion
Can destroy our beloved region
It's time to stop this fake religion
And let's all ease the pain

Someone make all the truth rain
It's now our time to cut
The rest of this fake sincerity
For the sake of humanity

They promised to unite all nations
But all it did was to create divisions
Is this part of their vision
to spread delusions?

A push back to reality,
A play full of comity,
And a couple of songs,
Brought end to the calamity.

Still in disarray,
My body will pay
For tricking me
In such an awful way.

Where I might go?
I do not know,
But I feel that I’ll start to
Follow my blood’s flow.

Into madness, fall from sadness,
Struggle just to be.
Is this illusion just a delusion?
This pain envelopes me.
My mind is tangled, heart is strangled,
My demons follow close.
Help me escape, wrapped in red tape,
You’re the demon that haunts me the most.
Leave my skin red and raw,
The scars, they never fade.
Always bleeding, always seething,
Shadows follow night and day.
The figures watch my every move,
Whispers flood my ears.
“I can’t drown my demons, they know how to swim”,
And they know my darkest fears.
The pills are supposed to heal my soul,
So I choke all of them down.
But the bugs still crawl under my skin,
Yet when I look they can’t be found.
I pull at my hair, checking if there
Is some proof that I am sane,
But ****** fingers always tell me,
The problem is in my brain.

It’s your fault.
Three soft sounds, and yet I cower behind my delusions as they make themselves heard.
It’s your fault.
The words crash around my mind, shattering the translucent lies keeping me sane.
It’s your fault.
They tear through my life, upending my dreams and hollowing out my soul.
It’s your fault.
After enduring so much, all it took were three simple words to break me.

A halo of envy
Steamed a green fog
Upon her dreamy sky
The faint shape of him
Unveiled her heart
And she shivered
With a chill of denial
But hope was a’gliding
And a’rising at Dawn
and He, so humble to beauty,
Was flowering notes
And willed solace afloat
This crystalline sky,
Fuming boldly.