I loved your cypress-eye from the old days,
And the glance who was shy from the old days.

Eyes of emerald were scratched by the world,
And I can't see its cry from the old days.

Your lips and voice remained the same delights,
Yet lack the smile and sigh from the old days.

The blush became white, the giggle a nod,
I don't get that reply from the old days.

The game of love has no rules anymore,
No coin, no card nor die from the old days.

Each thing from the past becomes desirous,
Both the truth and the lie from the old days.

Mâhî, lets get all our old friends back here,
Our own style lets apply from the old days.

I won't remember the parties
Or the school events
Or the games
Because I never went to them

But this is what I will remember
I'll remember the late nights of homework
And having to wake up early the next morning
And being exhausted in my 9am class

I'll remember the stress that ate my *** alive
To the point where I would cry for 10 minutes straight
And then get back to work like it never happened

I'll remember having an anxiety attack after leaving my professor's office
Because she made me feel stupid about how I wrote my speech
And the moment I stepped outside
I let go of a breath I didn't know I was holding
Then, I started hyperventilating and crying

I'll remember working out in the gym
Because according to my doctor I was obese
And well exercise is a great stress reliever

I'll remember losing my grandfather my junior year
And being so sad and depressed that some days I wouldn't even go to class
And having to go home for the first time and see him not there

I'll remember going through a break up the summer before my junior year
And having my ex try to gain my trust so that he would get another chance
Still confused on whether I should or shouldn't by the way

I'll remember growing closer to some of my friends
And some of my friends distancing themselves from me
And barely spending time with my friends from home

I'll remember contemplating on dropping out
Or going to another school
Or trying to make my other dreams come true

I'll remember being in the financial aid office more times than I can count
Because I'm paying out of pocket for my education
Student loans, Pell grants, and financial aid
Still isn't enough to cover my tuition

I'll remember being moved off campus into smaller dorms
Sharing a room with my best friend
And fighting off creepy crawlers and critters that found their way inside
And missing classes because transportation either ran late
Or didn't come at all

Who knows what else I'll remember
Not done with college yet

slam the doors and open new ones
shut the old days and throw
once and for all their long attic

and no more crying about it
and never again suffer
need to finish with this once and for all

23.11.18

For a little while,
I will let you haunt my dreams
all days and nights

For a little while,
let me take a look at you
and see what's hidden behind your sweetest smile

For a little while,
let me use every seconds that passes
and
let us be what we think we are

-Wonderwall-

Cool blanket of sky
Life holding a bated breath
Wishing new seasons

Good days come with bad ones.
Time carries many different moments.
What matters is that each person runs
With Jesus. It's what makes the most sense.